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2:55pm I get out of bed. Earlier, I was thinking and listening to the commotion outside my room of doors opening and closing and footsteps. I walk into the living room and find Caitlin Pasko and Phil on the couch talking.
DREAM: In front of a house, I’m putting together this skateboard show. The yard is hilly and there are tables where people are eating. A kid strolls by wearing a giant white shirt exclaiming that he already started this skateboard show down the street. His shirt said something about Virginia Beach Skateboarding. Aaron and I are questioning him about it.
Breakfast: Hot Oat Bran Cereal with Cinnamon and Blueberries, Orange Juice, Zinc and Vitamin E.
Caitlin, Phil, and I decide to go to some thrift stores but end up stopping at a shopping plaza just past Witchduck Rd. They order some subs inside a hole in the wall joint. I eat Tuna with Mayonnaise and Corn in a cup, Salt N Vinegar Chips with Avocado, and Green Tea. We walk around inside an Indian grocer called Taj Bazar and then into an Asian bakery that serves bubble tea. I eat an Egg Custard. We decide it would be a good idea to come back to Taj Bazar and cook up an Indian dish one night this week.
I go to the storage unit to play the piano and test out some electric guitars I haven’t used in a while.
Dinner: Spaghetti with Spinach and Garlic Toast, a Beer from Trader Joe’s.
Phil and I watch Lars Von Trier’s Dancer in the Dark [2000]. I exercise a little. The film surprises me in a positive way. I did not expect it be musical or have so much singing from Bjork. Hand-held cameras have an interesting effect on the movie.
Art and I play Foosball: I win 3. Art wins 2.
I read a Facebook note Margot posted about blogging. It causes me to think about some of the reasons I started this blog. One of them is to train myself to be more honest and open on a personal level and on a public level. But no one is forcing me to do this. I'm free to be as detailed as I want to be. I'm free to write the way I want to write. I'm free to think the way I want to think. I'm free to live the way I want to live. I have never lied in these blogs. I admit I have left some details out. Sometimes I do this to protect the innocent. Maybe a person that is involved doesn’t want their actions shown to the public eye. But I hope to become more descriptive as time goes on and learn to face the judgments and the criticism. It's a hard thing to overcome. It's a major discipline in honesty. It is a form of expression. I don't need people to read it. But they are attracted to things they don't have the courage to do themselves, and especially to an open-face journal. It's good documentation for me to look back on as well. Don't worry. The window into my conflicted and fleeting life will only get bigger over time. Becoming transparent is a difficult thing to do. But I choose to do it.
Some thoughts from Phil on journaling: “one must be selective when it comes to documenting. there are even important things that must be left out of the picture. there is always self-fashioning, there is always framing, in any form of expression. everyone has their biases. no one can accurately write from the perspective of the person that any one of us sees them as.
and just as you write a thesis statement for an essay and try not to get too off topic, the motivation behind any such project is that there's something that you want to communicate, whether conscious or unconscious. any kind of daily journaling should be encouraged, especially when it's dated and it attempts to be honest, no matter how much it includes or leaves out. it will serve as the basis for future retrospection. it'll be easy for the journalist to recall the things left out by the context of the things included. human memory is good at solving for x.
journaling is an expansion of the memory. memory is an expansion of consciousness. consciousness is an expansion of understanding, and understanding, an expansion of love.”
and just as you write a thesis statement for an essay and try not to get too off topic, the motivation behind any such project is that there's something that you want to communicate, whether conscious or unconscious. any kind of daily journaling should be encouraged, especially when it's dated and it attempts to be honest, no matter how much it includes or leaves out. it will serve as the basis for future retrospection. it'll be easy for the journalist to recall the things left out by the context of the things included. human memory is good at solving for x.
journaling is an expansion of the memory. memory is an expansion of consciousness. consciousness is an expansion of understanding, and understanding, an expansion of love.”
I learn some Russian on Rosetta Stone.
I clean my teeth and shower.
Sleep around 5:45am.
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