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DREAM: At work in China Wok waiting for orders to be done so I can deliver them. There are five orders ready to go but I think there are only four ready. My boss fails to tell me about the fifth one. I grab all the bags and run to the van. I place all the orders in the back. Margot wants to drive. “Absolutely not!” I’m worried my boss will see her. She gets pouty about me not letting her drive. I take the wheel and put it in reverse. A cop car is coming by. I misjudge how close I am and almost hit him. “I’m so sick of cop cars!” Then, for some reason, I can’t get the van out of reverse gear and the van gradually rolls down a hill. The brakes aren’t working at all. “This is just great!” I start slamming as hard as I can on the brake pedal breaking some of the plastic attached to it. Other parts on the dashboard break as I keep hitting them out of anger. “Yeah, lets just break everything!” There’s nothing I can do because the slope we’re on isn’t leveling out. ☼☼☼☼☼ I’m with a big group of guys. We’re trying to set a car on fire. It’s the blue firebird my Mom used to drive a long time ago. We all have lighters and keep trying to light different objects on fire and throw them into the car. Nothing seems to work. Someone in authority walks by warning us, “Your efforts are useless because it can’t be done.” ☼☼☼☼☼ In the 1623 house. I’m in the kitchen doing something. Phil is on the far right edge of the red couch talking to me. Rocky is laying to the left of him while she uses Facebook chat on Phil’s laptop. The chat beep sounds off interrupting something Phil says to me. “Rocky, can you turn that down? I can’t hear Phil.” All of sudden, Rocky gets upset and starts yelling, going on about this and that. It doesn’t make sense. All I asked her to do was turn it down. Eventually, she wants to fight and gets up in my face. I try to keep my cool. She starts kissing me on my head and shoulders. All of a sudden, everything’s resolved. Josiah walks in. Apparently, he had been there the whole time. I feel a little uncomfortable because of what Rocky just did. ☼☼☼☼☼ Walking around in a backyard that’s supposed to be my Dad’s but looks just like my neighbor’s. There’s a lot of junk piled around. I assume it is Kenneth’s. I creep into the next yard over out of curiosity. I’m with Phil and we have a shopping cart full of stuff. Two girls approach us. I start talking to one of them. “That’s my Dad’s house. I used to live with him in North Carolina, like in the country...the boondocks.” I look back deep into their yard. I see a few tree houses built high in the treetops. “Yeah we used hang out in the woods making clubhouses and starting fires.” It’s windy outside. I watch as the trees sway to the right and left as if they were dancing to the rhythm of the wind.
3 p.m. I wake up.
I walk into the living room. Brianna and Phil are watching Drugstore Cowboy (1989).
Breakfast: Hot Cream of Wheat with Vanilla, Brown Sugar, and Milk. Orange Mango Juice. Zinc and Alfalfa.
Phil and I move some mattresses into the van to sell tomorrow.
Lunch: Grilled Cheese with Tomato. Salt N Vinegar Chips. Strawberry Yogurt. Green Tea.
Work at China Wok.
Dinner: Leftover Chicken and Rice with Fried Zucchini and Squash. PBR.
SHOW N TELL at the house.
French Toast and Milk.
Alex Bailey and I play each other in foosball. He wins the single ball game, and the double ball game. I win the triple ball game.
Just a lot of words…
Sometimes I feel I’m not meant to love anyone.
Goodnight around 7 a.m.
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