Friday May 28 2010

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DREAM: Walking down the dirt road in my dad’s old neighborhood in Dudley, NC. My childhood friends, Trey and Andy, are with me, both of them older now. I get them to come with me so we can check out our old clubhouse spot in the woods. We have to crawl in through this small muddy hole. Once inside, the roof gets smaller. On my hands and knees, I start to feel claustrophobic. I tell the guys to turn around. They come in anyway. We make it through to these rooms that are still apart of the woods but seem separate somehow. There’s concern about the authorities finding us. An older man, who’s supposed to be a cop, is investigating outside. I can see him through a second entrance between the trees. Trey, Andy, and I try to lay low and hide. The man runs inside on guard searching for us. Trey is outside and he shoots the man 3 or 4 times. I can see the blood spurt out of his chest. I end up running back to my dad’s house nearby – through the back porch – my dad is sitting just outside on his laptop – stepping into his bathroom – I want to rinse out my mouth. I have knowledge that my dad threw up earlier, so the sink is backed up with a mixture of water and vomit. I hear my mom debating with my dad outside. She’s upset about what just happened in the woods, “Did you know you inherit violence from the father?” making reference to my dad’s time in Saudi Arabia when I was younger.  

3:52 p.m. Waking up from another hard sleep.

Breakfast: Cream Cheese Muffin. Apple Danish. Peach Yogurt. Orange Juice.

Sitting in the restaurant with everyone. The rainy weather causing a delay in the concert.

A few slices of Pizza.

Playing guitar in the stairwell – enjoying the natural reverb.

We all head over to the field where we will be performing.

Sitting down under a tent – Guillem is writing in his journal – I’m eating some dinner I snagged from the ballroom: Fried Chicken, Pasta, Green Beans, Salad, Mango Oolong Tea. Ah! There you are. I spot you off in the near distance. I almost didn’t recognize you with your hair down – standing there with that guy. It’s killing me – these feelings – most likely a fleeting crush, but genuine nonetheless. I feel paralyzed – like I’m in elementary school again. I imagine writing down my phone number and confessions on a piece of paper, then slipping it into your hand and walking off without a word. It’s been a long time since a girl has made me this nervous.

Sound checking on stage. It’s dark out now and a deejay starts spinning old and new dance hits to pump the kids up. Thekids swarm the field with neon glow sticks, tossing them up in the air and throwing them everywhere. It’s a G-rated rave.

Behind the stage, you’re closer than ever now, standing with your girl friend. Guillem by my side, I spark conversation – connecting voice and name with a face.

Time to play my last show with Mae – about an hour-long set. Just before the last song, some kids in the front start singing, “Olé! Olé! Olé! Olé!” similar to The Bouncing Souls song. I don’t know how or why we started playing the song, but we did. And we continued it for quite awhile, strumming the 1, 4, 5 chord pattern over and over again. As we’re nearing the end of our last song, “Anything” I come to the realization that this will be my last moment on stage with Mae – trying to take it all in. 

Drinks and socializing in room 1418. I visit for maybe 5 minutes, then retreat back to my room feeling unexcited and a little forlorn. Listening to music and letting it nurture my imagination.

Kiwi and Coffee.

Guillem walks in with a slice of Cheesecake, which goes well with my cup of Coffee.

Organizing some music.

Andy is interviewing Guillem with his camera.

Stretching and working out in the fitness center – listening to the likes of Aqua, The Real McCoy, and other old Dance hits.

Eating a whole bag of Salt n Vinegar Chips and some Dried Apricots.

Watching the first half of a movie called Chop Shop (2007).

Shower.

Sleep 6:30 a.m.

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[i] Photo by me.