Saturday May 29 2010

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Around noon I wake up to Pogge telling me the van will be waiting for us in 15 minutes.

We have to leave Guillem behind to continue his travels. I’ve had good memories with him and he’s had the chance to get a glimpse into the real and raw parts of my life within the past two weeks, which have been packed full to the brim with happenings. It’s a sad moment watching him standing on the curb with his bag as we drive off. I would tell him from time to time as a joke, “If you stick with me, you’ll survive!” But now, he’s on his own again to explore the U.S. and the rest of the world. 

Breakfast: Cheese Danish. Milk. Orange Juice.

Riding in the van. Stop at Ruby Tuesday’s for lunch.

I am informed Gary Coleman and Dennis Hopper died today.

Andy thinks up an idea to get the lawn chairs from the trailer and place them in the van for us to sit on since one of the benches is gone. This is a good idea.

Napping on the top bunk.

DREAM: On my laptop, scrolling through photos on a Flickr account that belongs to one of Pogge’s friends, Josie. She uses this natural filter concept where, for example, she’ll put a glass jar in front of the lens and take a shot of a landscape scene. I admire all the photos. ☼☼☼☼☼ In a dark auditorium. A big event similar to Show N Tell is happening. Zach is on stage with an acoustic guitar talking about some new philosophical understanding he’s discovered. Above him is a huge wooden square board being held up by four sturdy chain links – Andy is on top of it rigging an entertainment center to help display the light show. The seats are packed with kids. Switch to a scene of Mae practicing upstairs in a small hallway. Dave is playing a double-neck guitar he borrowed from a friend. There’s a bulge in the middle of the top neck. He wants me to learn some parts on guitar. I hear Zach meddling with drop D power chords. I try to play along.

Peanut Butter Sandwiches with Andy and Pogge. Banana and Mango Oolong Tea.

Zach, referring to the strong smell of peanut butter: “I feel like I’m inside a jar of peanut butter!”

Explaining part of my dream to Andy: “Dreaming of websites is kind of weird.”

“Weeeee!” Andy keeps saying this after announcing something silly.

Me: “You’re like a cartoon character.”

Andy: “That’s how I can express how funny I think it is.”

Stop in Raleigh, NC to drop off Dave. Hanging out with the guys in his apartment listening to some of the new Rekapse songs that Dave is producing.

In the van, talking about proper comma placement in writing.  

Stop at Chipotle for dinner: Black Bean and Rice Taco with Chips and Salsa. Chatting about the food industry, referencing the Food Inc documentary.

In the van, sitting in the lawn chairs with Zach discussing the motivation behind an artist’s art and distinguishing between proving a point to their peers and proving a point to themselves.

Reading The History of Love.

Quick stop at a gas station – inside, a strong smell of a combination of urine and disinfectant spray, in short, a strong public bathroom stench. Andy and I walking down an aisle…a black man passes Andy and greets him, “What’s up Project One?” I soon follow…the black man says to me next, “And Project Two!” At first, it made sense because Andy is wearing a shirt that states, “Project One”. But then, he calls me “Project Two”. It’s as if both of us were anomalies to him, like an experiment society is performing and we are the human projects. I buy a cup of Coffee and a Crème filled Donut.

We pass Emporia off US-58, the moon revealing itself with a deep orange. I am reminded of last Tuesday night when I was driving the van through here and the moon surprised me with it’s presence.

Reading.

Jacob is driving, Andy in the passenger seat. Both of them rocking out to Kenna. Jacob honking the horn and flashing the lights in sync to a repeating double hi-hat within the drum beat of the song.

Me: “You and I, Andy, we’re collectors.” 

Back at home, eating an Egg, Salt n Vinegar Chips, and a Kiwi.

Watching Five Easy Pieces (1970) with Jack Nicholson.

Feeling an unusual connection with Nicholson’s character.

Catherine: “You’re a strange person, Robert. I mean, what will you come to?”

The more and more reading I do on ways to prevent hair-loss, the more and more the answers are: remove stress from your life.

Doing the dishes all the while on the phone with you…comical and playful at first, then going to the storage unit and playing piano all the while on the phone with you still, but now you’re crying. This is the part of the movie where something is supposed to get resolved, but this isn’t a comedy, maybe a dark comedy, but not solely a comedy, more like a tragic comedy-drama. We don’t always know what we want nor do we always know how to express it. Being straightforward with you is the only way I can get my point across. Yeah, you’re a catch, you’re one in a million. I’m lucky to be wanted by such a beautiful girl. But what is the cost? Will I satisfy you? Will I make you happy? I’m in a selfish stage in my life…I’m too ambitious to be distracted. I’m not emotion-less nor am I a robot. I just want you to be happy, but most of all, I just want everything to be genuine.

Sleep around 7 a.m.

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[i] Photo by me.