DREAM: I’m supposed to visit “Grandaddy Markham,” who is my mother’s dad and actually dead in waking life. I only remember seeing him a few times when I was younger and of all those times he was bed ridden and diagnosed with schizophrenia. Either way, I’m in the backseat of a car—my father is driving and an unknown woman he’s been with or maybe it’s Brandy, my former stepmother, in the passenger seat. Riding through the halls of the hospital/nursing home. The address is “100”. I remember seeing “100” in the first hallway and tell my dad to turn around. The woman and I get a little frustrated with him because he missed the turn. We make it back. I get out of the car to check which apartment number he’s in. Looking at the list mounted on the wall with almost illegible handwriting. The first name on the list seems to be the closest match. It looks like it reads “Darby” or something. I’m about to walk off but then check again to be sure. I look closer at the scribble and now see that it reads, “grandaddy”. At his front door—I ring the doorbell once, then open the door to walk in. Some of the employees there inform me it’s okay to walk in because he can’t get out of bed. “This is my first time here.” I walk further inside and there he is on a bed in the corner next to three other patients. He’s excited to see me and waves me to come over. I have things in my hands that I thought were gifts but just seem to be things I’m carrying around. I set them down in the black chair beside the bed. He asks me how I’m doing—he coughs uncontrollably midsentence as his body convulses. They told me he experiences episodes like this from time to time. I notice most of his body is wrapped is some special plastic. It’s sad to see him like this because I knew he was in his last days. After his cough/convulsing spell is over with, he begins to give me advice on my life, telling me I should be strong and press on because “you have great things to accomplish!” ☼☼☼☼☼ In the dream, there’s this female photographer I know that does porno photo shoots. I go to her from time to time and she pays me well. At first it feels like I’m a girl. She has me lie on a bed under the covers naked. She’s on her side holding the camera with her head in between my legs. We start with simple face shots. She directs me on what expressions to do, “Give me a genuine serious look.” I imagine being in the coldest place to help me frown a little and look cute. All of a sudden, she’s straddling me backwards completely naked herself. Also, I’m a male now. I have the understanding that in the photo shoots insertion is not allowed. Concerned about it accidentally happening she asks for a “silencer” from one of the crewmembers, which acts as a wall blocking anything from being inserted. I assure her nothing will happen. They hand one to me anyway. It looks like a condom package. I’d never heard of a “silencer” before. I unwrap it—resembles a condom but it’s flat, white, round, and with soft wiring around the edges to fit into any size. Handing it to the photographer girl, “I don’t know what to do with this.” She places it inside her.
Alarm wakes me up at 11:05 a.m. Bleh. My eyes struggle to stay open.
Breakfast: Toasted Bagel Plain with Butter and Blackberry Jam. Immune Defense.
Starting my 10-hour shift at China Wok.
Talking with my Mom on the phone—she tells me about this 40-day fast/diet she’s been doing where she eats only vegetables, fruits, and beans (no dairy or animal-related food). Losing weight and feeling more alive and energetic—she laughs in the mirror as she discovers her clothes have become too big for her.
It’s slow here at work. So I watch some of the footage from last night’s MUSICPLAYER show.
Quick lunch stop at the house: Watermelon. Egg Salad Sandwich. Baked Lay’s. Peaches. Mango Oolong Tea.
Finally finishing The History of Love. A marvelous story. Going through the book and connecting all the characters.
Number of Non-Tippers for this shift: 1
First Non-Tipper
Race/Description: Caucasian male, maybe 13 years old
General Location: Piney Branch near Birdneck Road
Type of Residence: Small Apartment
Quality of Residence (5-Star Rating): **
Amount of Order: Under $20
Friendly/Non-Friendly: Friendly
Possible Reason: His uncle in Mississippi ordered for him online. He’s a kid.
Eating Vegetable Lo Mein for dinner. Eavesdropping on a kid at another table in the restaurant talking to his parents about the high volumes of sugar in food. “17 teaspoons of sugar in a Krispy Kreme doughnut?” The kid starts to eat his dinner. With no clue of the green thing that her son is putting in his mouth, the mother asks, “What is that?” The kid replies, “It’s broccoli!”
My childhood friend, James Graves, meets me at my house after work (I grab a Krispy Kreme doughnut on the counter) and we go to Winston’s Café for the songwriters circle and art show. It’s an interesting dynamic and mixture of music including Mike Gombas from Counterfeit Molly, JoAnna Lynne, Ben Johnson of Superstar Runner, and myself. The stage is set up with four mikes and we all sit up there at once taking turns playing songs.
Having some good talks with James on the way back home.
I walk to Wawa for some milk to have cereal with. On the way back, I find somebody’s cell phone on the sidewalk by the 7-11, case and all. Scrolling through the text messages, I’ve come to the conclusion that the phone belongs to a man. There’s only 2 women that text him back and forth on here. One is “Sis”, who I assume is his sister, and the other is “Tawnya”, who he seems to be married to or is interested in.
Some Sis texts: “C u monday 2 watch kaylee u will wont u I ned 2 no yes r no” “U r gd of runnin away any u need 2erayz some voice mass your ph is full your welcome”
Some Tawnya texts: “LOOK AM NOT SEEING ANY ONE SO WHAT YOUR PROBLEM, SingleMamaOf2” “Cant have any more kids u know that! SingleMamaOf2” “Yes I can be a real wife ty, SingleMamaOf2” “NO LIES OR GAMES AM 2 OLD 4 THAT! can u handle a real lady an not lil girls, SingleMamaOf2”
Some texts from him to Tawnya: “I want u wife! do u want me??” “Send me a sexy pic plz” “Do u know my dick aint any gd without u” “I want to marry u but do u want me”
Eating a bowl of Frosted Shredded Wheat Cereal.
Bad phone conversation with Margot.
Sleep 5 a.m.
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