DREAM: In a hotel room. I cut my penis off starting with the head of it first then the shaft. I have an important reason for doing this. I step into the bathroom to examine the process. I have the sudden urge to urinate—conflicted on how this is going to work without a penis. It’s understood in my head I read something somewhere that after a penis is cut off it will regenerate itself in time. I take comfort in this knowledge.
Around 4 p.m. I wake up. I have to pee.
“To dream of your genitals, represent your feelings toward sex and sexuality and your attitudes toward masculinity and femininity. It also relates to issues of commitment and pleasure.”
Breakfast: Toaster Biscuit with Butter and Blackberry Jam. Immune Defense.
Work at China Wok.
Eating Salt N Vinegar Chips and drinking Green Honey Tea.
Number of Non-Tippers for this shift: 2
First Non-Tipper
Race/Description: African-American in his 30’s
General Location: Riverfront in Linkhorn Bay
Type of Residence: Medium Sized Apartment
Quality of Residence (5-Star Rating): ***
Amount of Order: Over $27.51
Friendly/Non-Friendly: Friendly
Experience/Possible Reason for No Tip: The smallest bill he has is a $50 and I didn’t have enough change for that because it’s my first order of the day. He invites me in while he searches for something smaller. I stare at the newborn baby sleeping in one of those automatic rockers—listening to the soft repetitive click sounds. After what seemed like an hour but probably was only 10 minutes (still too long), he returns with a 20, three dollar bills, and $4.51 in coin change. He apologizes for making me wait but not for the lack of tip. Somehow I believe if I had change for him he would’ve been more inclined to tip.
Second Non-Tipper
Race/Description: Italian lady in her 50’s
General Location: Emerald Point
Type of Residence: Small Apartment
Quality of Residence (5-Star Rating): **
Amount of Order: Under $30
Friendly/Non-Friendly: Friendly
Experience/Possible Reason for No Tip: Handing her the bag of food, assuming the transaction is over she says thank you. I interject, “Oh I need you to sign, please.” Looking at the credit receipt she asks, “Do yall add the tip already?” Not giving me time to reply she tells me to hold on and walks off to confer with someone else in the back. A five-year-old girl with Indian skin and long brown hair is sitting on the floor watching television. I expected a glance from her since I’m already standing there awkwardly in the rain, which she gives me immediately. She has the sweetest eyes I’ve seen all day. I look away pretending to adjust my belt. I know kids like to stare at strangers but her quietness intimidates me for some reason. The lady finally returns with the receipt. I check it to find only a signature and no markings of any kind next to the tip column. “Thank you. Have a nice night.”
I felt a lot of anger and impatience today while working. I appreciate the romance of the rain but driving around in it with time constraints is another thing.
There’s confusion with my boss and I on who should take what orders. After trying to explain the best routing for her and I, she still doesn’t get it and gives me an order out of the way causing a major inconvenience. Sometimes I think they don’t trust my judgment. Maybe the Chinese are just naturally suspicious and stubborn.
I put all the bread that was gathered last night up on Craigslist’s free section. Got a bunch of calls and takers. A couple stops by the house to take four loaves.
Eating a Grilled Cheese Sandwich with Tomato and some of that Grilled Eggplant Vegetable Dish from last night that Louis brought over.
Stretching and exercising.
Finishing Advertising Rules! [2001].
Drinking an Iced Coffee with Soy Milk and Raw Sugar.
Organizing photos.
Playing DOOM while my external hard drives sync.
Eating Edamame, Broccoli, Apple Sauce, and a Dinner Roll.
Recording at the storage unit.
Sleep 7:45 a.m.
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