DREAMZ: Around a river bend on the shore. My mom, my stepdad, and a few others. I find this very long electrical extension cord tied between two big trees and hanging down like a rope. I grab hold of it, running and jumping off down the hill. I gain a high altitude swinging around the tree not having much control of where I’m going but experiencing a thrill of adrenaline. ☼☼☼ I’ve been assigned a school project for a math class, maybe it’s a take home test: a picture frame—16 boxes—each box will have a profile picture of an individual—and under the profile will be data fields that need to be answered—the questions to these are on another piece of paper, e.g., there will be a number like 9 and I have to come up with a sum that equals this number but I am not allowed to use 4 + 5, so I have to come up with another sum instead for the answer. So here I am in the classroom working on this project. Now, I’m in the living room of my old house near Ocean Lakes working on it. And now I’m at Big Lots near the main entrance. I’m painting and putting it together. My mom shows up and steps onto it analyzing the colors and pictures. I just want her to be proud of my constructiveness, which she seems to be. But she’s stepping all over it—afraid it will be ruined. I warn her and she gets off. But then it happens again. Now I’m gathering all the pieces onto a shopping cart and pushing along outside in the parking lot. It starts raining and balancing everything on the cart is becoming difficult. The pieces are falling. I get angry and start yelling and cursing. People are walking by. I feel embarrassed. ☼☼☼ I’m on the second floor of a building with no roof. I’m a part of the red team—we have guns—setting up to invade the downstairs where the blue team resides. I have a pretty nice size gun in hand. Some from the blue team have already made it onto our level. Clearing them out with clean shots straight in the head and chest. I’m at the top of the stairs. I shoot my last round killing a man on the blue team. I retreat back and gather up more guns, then creep down the stairs. At the bottom there’s a white girl behind a counter by the door. She’s startled. She’s wearing the blue colors but I have no interest in shooting her for some reason. I approach her close up and persuade her to make love with me in the bathroom. At first she’s cautious but I assure her my intentions are purely sexual and not hostile. We go at it for a little bit but she has to get back to tending the booth. She prints out tickets for me as if this was a concert venue and I needed proof to be here.
5 p.m. wake up.
Breakfast: Toasted English Muffin with Butter and Blackberry Jam. Orange Juice. Zinc, Vitamin E.
I hear arguing over in the next room.
I go to Wal-Mart—buying a Shop Vac to get the water out of our kitchen vent.
Lunch: Grilled Cheese with Tomato. Salt N Vinegar Chips. Honey Green Tea.
Starting Lake Mungo [2008], an Australian mockumentary style horror movie along the lines of Paranormal Activity [2010] but better.
MUSICPLAYER practice at the storage unit with Chris and Kal.
Talking about roller coasters afterwards.
Using my new Shop Vac and cleaning out the water inside the kitchen vent.
Stretching and doing crunches.
Watching Lake Mungo.
Dinner: Hard Boiled Egg. Rice with Vegetable Chili. Garlic Bread.
Organizing files and downloading music.
Eating Chocolate Chip Cookies and Milk.
Basketball.
Eating Grapes.
Organizing files.
Updating programs.
Reading.
Sleep 8 a.m.
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