DREAM: In my house—Josiah and a few other people are around. I go into the bathroom to relieve myself (#2). I had set a computer monitor on top of the toilet and another right next to it. Josiah was just in here and adjusted the screens to face the door. Kind of irritated by it, I move them back. I lay down strips of toilet paper on the seat like I always do to eliminate feeling the coldness of the porcelain on my butt and for sanitary purposes. I’m holding a song journal of Josiah’s and looking through it. He’s been forming a new music project recently—there are a few drawings of a logo for it: one that looks like a variation of the Golden Ratio, and one with a capital ‘M’ and underneath it is an upside down star (or pentagram). I also find an album he already recorded that’s in one of those digipak CDs—it looks legit and professional. Feeling kind of jealous that in no time he was able to do this.
“To see an inverted pentagram (where the point is facing downward), signifies conflict, negativity and aggression. It is often associated with Satanism and evil. Are you feeling guilty about something? Alternatively, it represents the physical world and your preoccupation with materialistic gains.” – from the Dream Dictionary
http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/712134
Just after 6 p.m. waking up.
Breakfast: Toasted Bagel Plain with Butter and Blackberry Jam. Orange Juice. Zinc, Vitamin E.
Business.
Art informs me he and Roma are most likely moving to another place where they can have their own rooms for about the same price they’re paying here. “Really, Art? What is it? Do I not provide enough for you here? You don’t like me anymore? Don’t do this to me.” He seems to be empathetic about it. “I’m sorry Robert. We don’t want to lose the opportunity…I love you.”
Feeling a sudden pang of sadness and hopelessness—I almost feel bereaved. Art and Roma leaving the house triggered a potential dark financial future. Money is hard—Living is hard—But I will survive. The music project is taking it’s time—too much time—I’m wasting time doing so many things that have nothing to do with the furthering of my music career—I absolutely hate that idea—the idea of procrastination, of distractions. There’s so much bullshit out there that I don’t want any part of. Focus. Focus, Robert. Nobody will ever understand the burden that I carry around everyday, the burden of something great, a beneficial burden to create something great. I refuse to waste anymore time. Live Without Dead Time.
Lunch: Egg Salad Sandwich with Tomato. Stale Baked Lay’s (cause I ran out of Salt n Vinegar Chips). Honey Green Tea.
Doug and I are sitting in our room coming up with slogans—submitting them on www.threadless.com for the contest they have: If you get the highest votes and they pick your slogan to be printed on t-shirts, you receive $500.
Eating Dark Chocolate from Venezuela and stretching—listening to music.
I grab Doug and we go to Trader Joe’s for a dumpster dive. Not such a big haul tonight but still enough for people to take most of it off my porch within the hour.
The Finds: Oranges, Muffins, Carrot Ginger Soup, Crackers, Whey Protein Powder, French Baguette, Salmon Fillets, Eggs, and Cookies (I threw in some stuff already lying around in the pantry).
Recording and configuring tempos at the unit.
Dinner: Pizza from scratch with Peppers, Onions, and Mushrooms.
Finishing John Q.
More tempo making at the unit.
Chocolate Milk.
Sitting at my computer. Doug’s alarm goes off. He turns over and lets out a medium sounding fart. “C’mon!” I say in defiance. His argument back is, “We all do it.”
Sleep 10:15 a.m.
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