Saturday December 4 2010

DREAM: I’m stuck inside a level of the video game, DOOM. Everything’s live so I can feel every move I make and could potentially feel realistic pain if I get hurt. In the dream I am already familiar with the layout and actions of this particular episode: There’s a spiny imp waiting in that compact room over there. Medium sized blocks made of transparent goo falling and rising throughout the chamber—I could get smashed any second. My gun is efficient and works like a charm. I’ve got to find the key and escape this hell. Everything happens as planned and I can even avoid most of the obstacles. I locate the exit chamber…

5:30 p.m. waking up.

Breakfast: Hot Oat Bran with Cinnamon, Brown Sugar, Blueberries, and Milk. Orange Juice. Zinc, Vitamin E.

Work at China Wok.

Delivering an order over on Piney Branch. It happens to be Virgil, a longtime childhood friend from church.

Number of Non-Tippers for this shift: 1

First Non-Tipper

Race/Description: African American girl in 20’s

General Location: Sunshine Inn at Oceanfront

Type of Residence: Small Hotel Room

Quality of Residence (5-Star Rating): **

Amount of Order: About $12

Friendly/Non-Friendly: Neutral

Experience: No comment

Snow flurries.

Lunch: Grilled Cheese with Tomato. Salt n Vinegar Chips. Honey Green Tea.

Watching a little of Bruno [2009].

Stretching and doing crunches while talking with Margot on the phone. I’m ranting on about the philanthropy I’ve been involved with giving away the food and how I hope these people pay it forward. It’s a beautiful thing when another human being promotes the survival of another human being—just being a part of that is an amazing and totally unselfish feeling. I tend to be more self-interested, focusing on my own well-being, so doing something like this has opened my eyes a little to the world of need around me.

I feel like I’m being prepared for something—a drastic change is coming.

[DIRTY LAUNDRY ALERT] Our conversation leads to some bitter bits about how she feels she’s always the one trying to make plans to see me and how I’m always too busy or preoccupied with something. “I don’t think you understand what it’s like for me. I’m going through a mid-20’s crisis.” (My mid-life crisis is gonna suck.) I feel late in my life…blah blah blah…distractions. She’s thoroughly offended by the state I’m in. And she has every right to take it personally because it’s personal and we’re close to each other, and we care about each other. I understand where she’s coming from. I don’t fulfill her relationship needs. I’m inadequate for her. And she’s overly adequate for me. I’m under qualified for the job and she’s over qualified for the job. What a conflict we have.

Dumpster Diving at Trader Joe’s.

The Finds: Assortment of Sandwich Bread and Bagels, Eggs, Chicken, Muffins, Cookies, Pumpkin Pancake Mix, Juice, Chicken Fried Rice, and tons of Apples.

When one finds beauty upon first sight you’re shocked at the charm of it but you search and hope there’s a flaw so you can despise the whole.

Dinner: Salmon. Rice with Peppers and Onions. Broccoli. Dinner Rolls.

Starting The Descent: Part 2 [2009].

Practicing songs at the storage unit.

Chocolate Milk.

Watching the movie.

Sleep 8:30 a.m.