Saturday March 26 2011

DREAM: Playing a roulette style board game—a circular image printed onto the board, resembles a dartboard design. There’s about 10 players, some people I know, one of whom is the mental character from the movie Sling Blade (Billy Bob Thornton). The blue chips are moved along with every turn. I’m not sure how the game is played exactly…

Dragging myself out of bed sometime after 6 p.m.

Work at China Wok—Frustrated—5-mile orders are a waste of time.

I’ve got my mail with me, bills mostly. Nonchalantly looking through them in the car—insurance premium is higher now because of some stupid failure to yield violation.

I walk into the house—people are hanging out in the kitchen.

Someone asks, “How was your day?”

“Sucked!”

“Why did it suck?”

“The usual human crisis: money.”

Figuring out bills. Business. Money.

Lunch: Tuna Salad Sandwich with Lettuce and Tomato. Salt n Vinegar Chips. Honey Green Tea.

Starting a British gritty drama called Fish Tank [2009].

The kids brought back goodies from the dumpster.

I put on Gummo [1997] in the living room. The kids lounge on the couch while I stretch and exercise.

Taken from Wikipedia: {Korine comments on the film's pop-aesthetic, saying: "America is all about this recycling, this interpretation of pop. I want you to see these kids wearing Bone Thugs & Harmony t-shirts and Metallica hats - this almost schizophrenic identification with popular imagery. If you think about, that's how people relate to each other these days, through these images."}

Eating Blueberry Yogurt.

Margot calls me randomly while she’s at Poon’s, something about how she doesn’t like the people that are there, apparently Les’s friends. After I start inquiring more she hangs up the phone because she’s surrounded by people. On my on volition, I drive down there to see if she’s okay or maybe she might need a ride. Her eyes are wet and she’s been drinking—I can tell something’s wrong. I drive us back to her house—on the way I discover the more complex issues going on. She’s still battered from what happened with Les—feeling used and whatnot. It’s a strange thing because here I am, the one who she rejected first because of this guy—I’ve moved past what happened between them—Yet there’s still something she’s dealing with from it.

In the den, on her couch. The conversation isn’t even worth quoting. She’s not herself—not necessarily drunk but still a little inebriated, flustered, and emotional. I’m being as nice as I can be, but she’s saying incredibly mean and insensitive things to me. It’s nothing unusual in this kind of state she’s in. At any rate, eventually I leave on a softer note after finally getting her down to my level of affection.

I don’t believe the truth comes out when you’re drunk. In my experience, it’s bullshit that comes out, insecurities, fears, it’s more of an enhancer to whatever mood you’re already in. In the queen’s case, it was negative. There are no inhibitions. And any conflicting thoughts that are embedded in the mind will come out more easily. I see it all the time, not just with Margot, but other friends. It’s really upsetting to observe. Sometimes, entertaining, but mostly unnerving.

Here’s a good Yahoo Answers discussion on the topic:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070926081029AALrhN8

Newspaper route.

Coast to Coast Radio—an entertaining yet intelligent look on the effects of a possible Zombie Apocalypse and how we could adapt from surviving one.

Eating Dried Figs, some Ginger Chews, and a Blueberry Muffin with some Milk from 7-11.

Dinner: Egg and Rice with Onions and Mixed Vegetables. Fresh Garlic Bread.

Counting quarters—listening to the hype machine.

It’s after 8:30. Back to Margot’s to give her a ride to work. In the bathroom—fresh after-shower smell—I watch her blow dry and fix her hair. She’s so beautiful. I tell her this.

Back to my bed. Sleep around 9:45 a.m.