Tuesday March 15 2011

5:30 p.m. waking up.

Breakfast: English Muffin with Peanut Butter. Orange Juice. Zinc.

Musicplayer practice at the storage unit—working on more new songs.

Josiah’s in the attic with some people, “Hey Robert. Guess who’s here?”

“I don’t know, Daniel White?”

It’s Robbie! “Oh! Hey Robbie!”

Lunch: Grilled Cheese with Tomato. Salt n Vinegar Chips. Honey Green Tea.

James and I head to Tortilla West for Tyler Yowell’s Moving-Come Hang get together.

Rachel couldn’t make it out. She texts me: “will you please hug him for 3 minutes straight for me and kiss him on the head:\”

I text back: “i hugged him for 30 seconds then kissed him on the forehead. then he laughed like a little girl.”

Sipping on a can of Modelo and socializing like whoa. The whole gang is here.

Oh Josiah and his New York stories. “You should really write a book on the past three years of your life. That would be great!”

Talks with James on the way back home—analyzing our personal situations—getting a chance to hear some of his romantic endeavors and ideas after he moved to Dumfries that time ago.

There’s a crowd of people in the house—5 on the red couch as Kelley lies across their laps.

I make Dustin cook me over easy eggs his special way. Eating some with Rice and a Carrot. Peach Yogurt.

Visiting Margot at her work for a few minutes—she’s closing and was bored earlier.

“I’m not gonna stop pursuing you, Margot.”

Les’s girlfriend, Katie, had sent me another message recently with a few more questions about things. I shouldn’t have brought it up to Margot, but I did. And the conversation turns sour. She’s upset the way things went down with Les and feels used and rejected. It’s kind of a weird moment because I’m sort of comforting her over the guy she rejected me with. All I keep thinking is Why did you waste your time with a guy that wasn’t really into you when I’m here all along with real love?

On the way to work we continue our conversation over the phone. Her big concern with getting back with me is the fear of things being the same. I mean there’s a list of things that didn’t click, like, for example, my busy schedule and not making enough time for her. I had a lot of issues in general being in a relationship a long while back because of it. Over time I developed such a strong connection and started to really love her. And yes, when there’s a threat of her leaving me for someone else, of course I’m gonna flip and act desperate. She’s been mine for a long time. I’ve seen her grow in a way—and change but stay the same. I know her like a book you’ve read a thousand times or a movie you’ve watched a thousand times and never get sick of.

Newspaper route.

After about 40 minutes I call her back just to clarify something,

“I really really love you Margot. I love you so much. And I care about you. If you were to come back I promise you things will be different.” I try to explain that love should be enough. Everything else falls into place after love. Of course there will be sacrifice but I’m willing to do that because I love her. She’s still so uneasy about everything despite the fact that she does love me in return and does realize my importance in her life.

Eating Oatmeal Cookie Bites and few donuts from Dunkin Donuts.

Back home. Search Engine Evaluation.

Popcorn.

Watching Manic [2001].

Sleep 10 a.m.