DREAM: As I’m lying in the bed with Margot, she turns into Emily and gets up to stand at the corner of the bed. I pick up the telephone to the right of me—it’s a white house phone. On the other line is Margot. She says, “I don’t want you to think I’m still not going to sleep in Les’s bed.” I get angry. She continues, “His bed is nice!” In a hot temper, I throw the phone down and yell out a silly combination of curse words. Emily giggles a little at the sound of them. I scramble out of the bed and run to the window. I push open spots on the blinds in order to see out into the backyard. I sense danger, like someone is out there. The only thing I can see is a black scarecrow. Switch to another scene—Emily is narrating a play where everything she says happens to me. “And he turns into a colossal giant!” My body starts growing dramatically and I get taller and taller. Everything that’s happening I correlate to something symbolic immediately as if I was analyzing the dream as it went along. Oh, me turning into a giant shows how much I talk about myself, relating to my writing/blog. Switch to another scene—Margot and I are watching television—a TV show, something on the Discovery channel maybe—I watch a mouse on the screen gathering food—a narrator spouting out mathematical equations that sync up perfectly to what the mouse is doing. Margot seems enthralled with it, “How do they do that?”
Orange Juice. Zinc, Vitamin D.
I got the Google job!
Musicplayer practice at the storage unit—getting excited about the new songs we’ll be playing for the show in Richmond this Friday.
Eating Watermelon and Blueberry Yogurt.
Renee Regan and James are over here. Sharing some Pizza I made from scratch—watching Youtube videos.
“There’s just a certain point after watching so many Youtube videos you have to stop. I mean my cheeks just hurt from laughing.”
Dustin eats his daily 5 egg sandwich with loads of ketchup.
At some point, I’m left at the table alone while James is on the computer showing this animation short by a Czech surrealist named Jan Švankmajer. It’s from a series of short films called “Dimensions of Dialogue”. This one in particular is hypnotizing—it’s putting me in a strange mood—beautiful, disturbing, disheartening, symbolic.
Josh, our new roommate, waltzes into the house with a slew of people, some I know, some I don’t know. Ben is excited about a new tattoo he got based on the amateur drawing of a leprechaun from a news clip in Alabama: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DM7CL-Vyo1U&tracker=False
Trying to enjoy the social atmosphere and engage myself. Something just doesn’t feel right in my gut. Maybe it was the 3 slices I had earlier. But no, it’s you of course. Just the daily achy breaky heart thing. I don’t want to feel like this anymore!
Earlier, Margot was acting like a jealous ex, displeased with the fact that a girl I met at The Wave is hanging out at my house, granted with other people. I assure her that this is strictly a social time and not a date to which she keeps calling it. I don’t even know this girl. I honestly don’t think I have the ability to feel attracted to anybody else at this time. She’s convinced the girl is going to make moves on me. Oh please! Why would you care anyway? Her response is “Dunno cause I don’t like it.” And how do you think I felt when I knew you were making moves on another guy and then ended up having sex with him? How do you think I feel to know that the girl who adored me for years and loved me for years abandoned me for a douche bag that wasn’t even into her like I was. As much as I want to hate you, I can’t do nothing but love you. I have no choice but to be devoted to you even if you don’t deserve it. Don’t you see the debacle you’ve put me in? This is the biggest and most overwhelming love crisis I have ever been through in my life. Make it stop! Now!
The kids are all in the living room—Mystery Men on the tube—as I leave for work.
Newspaper route.
Eating Salt n Vinegar Chips. A Coffee Roll with Coffee from 7-11.
Ghost investigations and ghost stories on Coast to Coast radio.
Eating a Hard Boiled Egg with a Carrot. Grapefruit Soda.
Talking with this girl Bethany, Josh’s friend who stayed over, while I fold laundry. She’s from Tennessee and studies architecture—soft-spoken, hard to hear her words, especially over Kenneth walking in and out of the house. It’s 8 a.m. and it’s raining outside. Watching a possum climb up the neighbor’s tree. “I hate the rain as much as I like the rain. I like the way it feels.”
Recording some sequence and click tracks at the storage unit.
Eating Goldfish.
Sleep 10:30 a.m.
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