Sunday May 8 2011

FUGHUGH. Waking up at 9:30 a.m. Only 3 and a half hours of sleep.

Breakfast: Plain Bagel with Cream Cheese. Orange Juice.

Starting my new job at Edible Arrangements. It’s Mother’s Day and it’s a hectic atmosphere of people in aprons putting together the bouquets of flower shaped pineapples and chocolate dipped strawberries. The route dispatcher is swamped compiling all the routes. He gives me a 12-order route, which starts way out in Pungo. After the long trek out there, I knock on the door but nobody answers, and according to Flower Delivery Etiquette you’re supposed to leave it with a neighbor, not at the foot of the door especially perishable things like fruit. Surprisingly, the neighbors to the right decline on holding it for them, “Oh, we don’t get along very well. Try the people on the other side.” Starting to sense a weird vibe. I try the neighbors to the left and again, declined on the grounds that “they don’t talk very much to them…try the Avon lady across the street.” Without hesitation the Avon lady accepts the arrangement and even has the customer’s number.

I take advantage of being on this side of town and stop by a strawberry field for a quart of strawberries—so soft, and sweet, and perfect.

Lunch: Grilled Cheese with Tomato. Salt n Vinegar Chips. Honey Green Tea.

Delivering an order somewhere out in Shore Drive. As soon as the door is opened two giddy little dogs come tumbling out—the cutest dogs I’ve seen all day. The littlest one amazingly hops up from the ground and lands in my arms. This is the stuff that keeps me going.

Just as soon as I get done with fruit bouquet deliveries, I rush over to 1623 to meet a guy I found on Craigslist to collect all the junk in the yard. He’s legit and affordable. Otherwise, Kenneth’s stuff would’ve stayed there. Then The Property Shoppe would’ve overcharged me for junk removal and it would get taken out of my security deposit. I wasn’t going to let that happen.

Straight to work for China Wok.

150 miles of driving. 11 hours of work. This day definitely constitutes as Burnout Day Part 2. Part 3 coming tomorrow.

My shift has finally come to a close—slurping down Vegetable Lo Mein while I drive home. This is ridiculous. Every single meal I’ve had today has been in the car, on the go. That’s how busy it was.

Me: “Hey Anthony! Guess how many hot girls I delivered to today?”

Anthony: “How many?”

Me: “One. But guess who.”

Anthony: “Who?”

Me: “The owner of Guadalajara’s daughter. Yeah man. It was my last delivery at China Wok—a big house over on Haversham and Dey Cove right across from Cox High School—a bronze fountain flowing in the front yard. I had been there once before. It had a see-through stain glass door and all I could see was skin walking down the steps and she opened the door. She was standing there in what seemed like swim suit attire. I had noticed a neon sign in the garage for Guadalajara. Yeah I found out her dad is the owner of that restaurant.”

Kevin describes his own hot girl encounter during his pizza deliveries, “Yeah she had dazy duke shorts on and a British accent. I got a total boner upon recognition.”

Counting quarters—talking with Margot over the phone. Understanding one another is the most important aspect of a relationship.

Eating a bowl of Frosted Shredded Wheat in the kitchen while Darren explains how disgusting he thinks it is for a girl to eat fast food all the time.

Newspaper route. I really don’t know how I have any energy.

As I’m pulling up to the newspaper plant I’m surprised to see Skippy and Anthony in a big red truck. They came for moral support I guess and to entertain themselves with my line of work.

Towards the end I can barely keep my head up.

Sleep 6:20 a.m.