DREAM: Playing the observer. Watching a muscular and fit naked man, fully erect and ready for action, approach an innocent Caucasian woman. At first the woman rejects his presence. But for some reason the man has this mind control power and manipulates the women into sexual acts. The expression on her face bares no more fear or restraint. ☼ All of a sudden I’ve been relocated into a bedroom—that same woman is here with me. She’s upset about what happened—I see fear on her face. I’m no longer just an observer and have the ability to interact now. I wrap my arms around her shaking shoulders and comfort her. Because of the vicinity of our bodies we both sense a sexual tension. Slowly the friendly affection we exchange becomes more romantic. The naked man appears out of nowhere with a few others like him. I’m held down—arms grasped. They force me to have an orgy with the woman victim and some other girl. But before it even starts, I build up enough power to resist. In anger I shout, “I’m not fucking doing this! Get off me!” The naked man changes his forceful persona and responds, “Fine! I’m not gonna make someone do what they don’t want to do.” The hands holding me down release their grip. I look down at the hands holding my ankles and realize they belong to someone familiar. “Margot?” I couldn’t believe she had anything to do with this. She looses her grip with a blank expressionless face. Angry, I slap her across the face but it’s not so hard because her cheeks seem to be warping and making a concave shape. I even question if it’s really her or someone meant to resemble her.
Waking up at 11 a.m.
Breakfast: Organic Strawberry Pop Tart. Orange Juice. Zinc.
Full day shift at China Wok.
Putting out the menus.
Finishing reading the third DOOM novel.
“The human race has expended so much energy trying to conceive of every possibility that we couldn’t help but get a few things right.”
Lunch: Egg Sandwich with Mayonnaise and Tomato. Kettle Cooked Potato Chips with Avocado. Honey Green Tea.
Delivering an order at the Sentara Nursing Center. The customer is working at station #2, which means I have to traverse the long narrow hallway, passing the senior’s rooms with their stale floral scents and the TVs faintly on. To get there quicker I jog just a little bit.
An old lady passing by reacts and says to me with wide eyes, “That’s a nice trot.”
“Thanks.”
At the restaurant, Ling offers some Watermelon.
Cessily introduces me to Bird’s Nest, a really expensive delicacy in China. And it is what it is. She shows me a picture in a catalog. This regurgitated bird saliva apparently has medicinal properties. A box of these ranges from $800 to $1500! I joke about taking the little bird’s nest out front underneath our canopy and selling it. It’s nice to see my bosses smiling and laughing. I’d like to make it my goal to induce laughter in my bosses at least once a day, especially Cessily. Her sourness is difficult to get past.
http://blog.maisnam.com/archives/000212.php
Banana Yogurt. Vitamin Water.
The night goes on and on—deliveries go on and on.
Finally home.
Pizza seems like a good idea. Ordering from Channelo’s. I got quite a generous tip earlier tonight so I figured I’d pay it forward.
Sipping a Miller High Life.
Watching Red White & Blue [2010].
A text conversation Rocky and I had yesterday…
Rocky: “I think of you as my Brother, although that sounds dumb. But words are futile devices…”
Me: “words are mostly all we have to express ourselves to each other.”
Rocky: “Our actions toward one another far overshadow the shallowness of the words we could possibly say.”
Me: “agreed. however without words it would be hard to articulate the complex things in our mind and our perception.”
Rocky: “Who needs articulation though? Do we say things for the other or are we really speaking to ourselves?”
Me: “its to help the other person better understand me. and in doing so it helps me understand me. being mute with only pure action could deter a lot of problems and misunderstanding though. but words help clarify the actions that could be misperceived.”
Rocky: “What if for one hour a day u didn’t speak but only acted toward a person? I’m curious as to the result!”
Me: “the results might be predictably positive. itd be interesting to have a National Mute Day…”
Doing some research on this and that. I hear a tap at my door. James walks in with a drunken smile on his face.
Me: “You sound like a mouse knocking on my door!”
Guy talk—in other words, there’s a girl that interests James and I’m helping him analyze the risk factors and compatibility. It’s amazing the information Facebook provides, or just The Internet in general.
Downstairs, James is lying on the black leather couch—Cowboy Bebop on the TV. Eating a Freeze Pop and doing crunches.
Sleep 3:30 a.m.
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xxxnnmmnn
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