DREAM: I walk into a store that’s understood to be a Rite Aid—the shelving is stacked high, like in a warehouse. It’s late at night and Rocky is working the graveyard shift. The lighting is harsh but dark in certain areas. Exploring—there’s people here and there. A girl brushes past me—she’s with a friend. Feeling a cosmic internal attraction towards her. She feels it too. Kind of hiding in a shaded area by a shelf. We talk. She gets closer. Casual physical touch that turns into something affectionate. In my mind, I try to squelch this lustful fire because I’m dating Margot—feelings of guilt. The girl and I almost kiss but really we just nuzzle our cheeks together. The next morning I wake up. Margot’s here. She made plans to go do something with Zach Jordan.
Me: “What? Why are you doing that?”
Her: “Well, you’re not doing anything. I want to go out.”
She leaves. Remembering that in waking life I had told her about how uncomfortable I am with her even staying in touch with him. What’s the point? She loves me. I head out of the house and start treading up this green hill. Other people are passing me. There’s a festival happening just over the hill. One of my friends introduces me to the girl I made contact with last night at the Rite Aid. She looks different in the sunlight—taller and only conventionally attractive. “Hey!” Her and I both smile and exchange hugs. For some reason I have Margot’s iphone—pink casing and all. It’s been a few hours since she’s been gone with Zach and I’m feeling insecure. Attempting to lurk on her phone—trying to read her text messages—looking for something incriminating and to see whom she’s been in touch with. No luck really. I just wish she’d come back soon…
Breakfast: Hot Cream of Wheat Cereal with Brown Sugar, Milk, and Peaches.
The Chanticleer repairman is here to fix the air condition—always a different person every time. He tells us he did this and did that so the thermostat should be working properly. We’ll see…
Business.
I see Carmen on the computer.
Me: “Look at Carmen. Listening to rap music and eatin’ a freeze pop.”
Lunch: Grilled Cheese on Sourdough Bread with Tomato and Avocado. Salt n Vinegar Chips. Honey Green Tea.
Editing the blog site—organizing.
Shooting some hoops on the basketball courts by the old house. There’s an intense softball game happening in the fields nearby.
Watermelon.
Composing a spreadsheet to keep track of my income—learning the ways of Microsoft Excel.
Picking up my baby from Poon’s and bringing her home. There’s a minor bickering over using plastic wrap instead of a paper towel to cover up food in the microwave—annoyed at each other. I’m over it already but she’s still upset. Sitting down next to her demanding that she give me a kiss. At some point she smiles and a subtle look of warmth shows on her face.
Me: “I saw that look. What did that look say? I know what it said. You were thinking: I like him. He’s cute and I want to kiss him.”
I turned her around to the bright side and we make love, fire on the couch—fire on the floor.
Enjoying some leftover Prince James Stir-Fry with a Miller High Life—watching True Blood.
She’s really sleepy—almost past out on the couch. I’m standing over her, just watching, “The affection I have for cats is the same I have for you. You know how you like to just watch cats sleep or do something. Sometimes I just like to watch you—laying down—making slight movements and noises.”
Back home, re-designing the blog.
Sleep 4:30 a.m.
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