DREAM: The rain was here…mud puddles cover the ground of this closed off public market area. It seems so abandoned late at night like this…3 a.m. The playground is inviting—I want to find a comfortable spot on the slide and lie down. The sun is about to rise—I can see the light blue hue appear in the sky. Any minute this place will be swarming with people. Exploring further…A bridge—the railing curves inward—the end in the shape of a Santa Claus head…
Alarm goes off at 11:11 a.m.
Sipping on a Simply Orange.
Hot Yoga session—feeling more in control of my body—our teacher notices the change. I like the personal attention she gives each of us—she knows how to guide us to our limits. During the last few minutes—lying there on my back, completely relaxed…she says to us in a breathy calm voice, “There’s two simple questions you need to ask yourself………Who am I? What do I want?”
[pause]
“Now forget about that and let your heart respond…”
Afterwards…keeping up with the tradition of eating lunch at the Farmer’s Market Grille with Gillian.
“Everyone has to experience heartache at least once in their life.”
Lunch: Egg Salad Sandwich with Lettuce and Tomato. French Fries with Honey Mustard. XXX Vitamin Water.
Picking up some plums and blueberries.
Errands.
Stephanie Lou and Ashley Pabon are here at the house. Rummaging through my collection of clothes to figure out my wardrobe for scenes in the movie being filmed in August. I feel like a Ken doll as they pick and choose what they want me to wear.
Apple Fritter Bread and Strawberry Yogurt.
Working a few hours at China Wok to help out with the dinner rush.
Belgium Milk Chocolate.
Darren’s downstairs cooking himself dinner all the while belching out Newfound Glory and Dashboard Confessional lyrics. Oh lord. I remember those days.
Dinner: Beer Glazed Black Beans with Rice and Broccoli. PBR.
Watching All Good Things [2010].
The queen is here…she’s lying down—every time I press my hands around her boobs she starts laughing hysterically.
“I like to hear you laugh…you seem happy.”
And it’s true. Lately, she’s shown signs of satisfaction, just an overall happiness in being with me. I like this. And I love being inside her—she makes me feel so light and limp—endorphins to the max…
Outside we can hear voices and hollering—picking out who they belong to. They had a birthday gathering for Leisa at the beach and 1435 is where the after party is apparently.
Eating a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
Sleep 4:30 a.m.
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