DREAM: Rocky and I duke it out in an exotic locale—on the beach—barefoot—dramatically jumping around—trying to avoid too much brawling but she’s insistent. Rubbing some sort of creamy oil on a rectangular slab of rock. In doing so it’s supposed to create an intensified boom if someone is thrown against it. Still in fight mode with Rocky—attempting to get her close to this rock. In the distance it’s understood a show is about to begin, and we’re late for it…
Waking up after noon…
White Peach.
Errands.
A random dog says hello as I’m lugging the water jugs out of my car.
Banana. I throw the peel out the window because it’s biodegradable.
Lunch: Egg Sandwich with Mayonnaise and Tomato. Salt n Vinegar Chips. Pomegranate Cherry Ade.
Finishing Zero Day [2003].
Painting…[DREAM GIRL] on the front of guitar amp for the shoot tonight…
Google work.
Strawberry Yogurt.
Nostrum film shoot at the storage unit—I’m Cooper…I play guitar in a band called Dream Girl—band practice scene.
Beer and Pretzels.
Endearing conversation scene with Emily’s character Rex—I’m forced to puff rolled tobacco several times in a row, turning my stomach nasty. We use the headlights from Stef’s car and my car as lighting for the shot….“Sometimes people are just pushed to do things even when no one’s pushing them…and it’s really wonderful.”
It’s almost after midnight when we finally wrap everything up, and we started at 7…
I’m exhausted…and there’s a Rachel Reel Good-Bye-Party-Get Together going on at the house…and she called me 24 times in a row during the shoot, Margot that is. I’m scared to even go back home even though I have no idea what she’s calling so desperately for…I know she was at the party. I park the car somewhere nearby and call her back…
She heard about a pact Anthony and I had made to break up with our respective girlfriends, which was a joke…and then she keeps prying into my newfound friendships with new characters in my life, specifically Raven. But that’s not even the real reason she called…
I hear through her misguided bitterness and unstable state of mind. In my head I see the tears trickle down her face, the smudging mascara, the sobbing frown…
“I’m not calling you to make you feel bad. It’s just because I miss you…”
“I know.”
We’ve separated. And she doesn’t have any security anymore. And she’s freaking out. She said she keeps having nightmares where other girls take me away from her. And in no way do I feel happier about this than she does. I’m surrounded by more friends, more ears to listen to, and more moral support. The deal was to not have any contact whatsoever until Sept 1st, not sure what’s so magical about this date but it’s far enough away to allow some space and distance and perspective and hopefully enlightenment. In this time, both of us will have adapted a little bit to the disconnect that we’ve never known before now.
The conversation ends at 1:11 a.m. Not sure what that means…
Dinner: For the third time in a row, Beer Glazed Black Beans with Eggplant, Peppers, Tomatoes, Onions, and Brown Rice. A whole Carrot. More beer.
Sleep sometime after 4 a.m.
No comments:
Post a Comment