Waking up really early. 8:30 a.m.
Breakfast: Mango. Orange Juice.
Road trip with Anthony and Greg (Polish couch surfer whose here for a few weeks). Picking up Anthony’s friends, Lindsey and Corina, from the Norfolk airport. They just arrived from San Diego. Then…Richmond-bound…driving in high spirits—good music on the stereo…making good traveling time.
Peanut Butter Sandwich. Pomegranate Cherry Ade.
There. Familiar cobblestone streets and historic living quarters. Hello, Richmond. Raven and Rachel hook up with our crew and we traverse to many different spots…from Raven/Michaela’s place to Rachel’s loft…a few thrift stores on Broad Street, another store called Diversity Thrift on Sherwood Avenue—a good day for exploring, in more ways than one…warm feelings exchanged—it’s not often I have the opportunity to just get out of town, or really I just never take the opportunity…I’m glad I did today…
Eats at a vegan restaurant called Strange Matter—feeling frustrated and a little uncomfortable because Margot is calling non-stop for whatever reason. Apparently, she is at my house at the current moment wondering where I am and wanting to talk to me. The space decision is still in action but something is really wrong and she’s sick with worry and needs some resolution. This is out of nowhere, especially after no communication for a long while. I’m really afraid to answer and it just scares me when she calls so many times in a row. I turn the phone off. It’s like I just turn to defense mode. Continue on with the nice day it has already been. Bad timing (or perfect timing). The day I decide to escape Virginia Beach is the day she decides to confront me and seek peace and understanding. There’s something sacred about the space we’ve had from each other. It’s been important—a development. As much as I’m feeling more and more withdrawal and loss, I’m also building up strength to press on…
Falafel Pita with vegan Mac n Cheese.
It’s pouring rain now…
Meeting up at Paige’s place—playing with her rat…
Anthony has a friend that works at a coffee shop off Lombardy. There. Drinking Coffee with a Coffee Crumb Cake…
Goodbyes can be tedious and overwhelming…
Heading back to VA Beach…
Anthony’s in the passenger seat—everyone else asleep in the back. Talking about the invisible empire of songs or ideas that we as musicians of our nature like to build, the melodies that never get heard (invisible), the melodies that only get played once by it’s maker or discoverer (I) and never heard again…
The stereo blaring the whole way—sharing old recordings I did a few years back…and sharing Josiah’s old music projects—such amazing jewels of songs that seem lost forever except on my ipod…
As soon as we pull up into the driveway, Margot is waiting on the sidewalk. This is not how I wanted to see you, in tears again, and upset. I couldn’t even have a break to reflect or chill out for minute…
“I’m sorry for ignoring you today…”
I gotta take the kids to the China Bus by Rick’s Café so our talk isn’t long…She continues to read the blog and see my thoughts, plans, ideas, and feelings. I try to explain that it’s not fair for her or myself that she has a connection to my life like this. There can never be any kind of distance or space. It’s only hurting us and setting us back from any kind of healthy separation. It’s still so disheartening to see her in such pain…
Back inside…
Sharing raw cloves of garlic with Carmen and Greg—making a toast as if we were doing shots…
“Here’s to the hurricane, to our health, and our survival!”
Dinner: DiGiorno Pizza with Red Peppers. A can of Milwaukee’s Best.
Reflection…decisions…exhaustion…
Sleep 5 a.m.
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