11-22-11

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Waking up just after 1 p.m.


Strawberry Yogurt. Orange Juice.


Downstairs with Darren and Josiah prepping up the living room for the mushroom trip tonight. Decorating—hanging sheets—pictures—adding plenty of visual stimuli.


Today is a palindrome: 11-22-11


Nourishing talks and eats at Plaza Azteca with my mom.

Chips and Guacamole Dip. Fish Tacos. Lemon Water.

I’m grateful for this time with my mother—being able to talk about the past—revelations and discoveries that help shape and heal.


Back at the house...our living room has been transformed into a funhouse/lounge space—blankets and sheets pinned to the ceiling and wall—colored lamp lighting—the girls are chopping up the mushroom and making tea bags. Now it’s brewed. We intake...and wait...Ravi Shankar music on the computer speakers. Being a virgin to this experience I was nervous earlier but now I’m comfortable—drawing figures on a brown paper bag. Sipping on orange juice and swallowing vitamin c pills to intensify the effect. We venture to the place we all know too well and feel the freest: The Friends School. It’s in the midst of our walk through the woods behind the Lutheran church that I begin to feel the kicker...the next level...then on the rope swing the heaviness hits the bloodstream. Walk back...the leaves, the yellows, the autumn glow, the street lights—the Chanticleer porch lights—illuminate—I’m talking...live narration on the events my body is experiencing.

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Back home in the living room...


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Words bubbling about in the air = united on a social plane that’s seamless and without ceasing = pressure between my ears streaming mountainous pressure pulsating pounding positive white blurry trails glowing moving surrounding = time travel = it’s internal the awareness of yourself as if my conscious sits separately watching observing the actions of my body the words my lips mutter = knowing expecting the next move the next action the next word finishing each other’s sentences and thoughts = confessions openness = colors, oh...my...God, the colors—splattered glow stick juice all over the room (our space, our outer space) turning into twinkling stars resembling a vibrant Pollock painting, or a laser tag arena = shuffling feet bouncing bumbling rocking bodies = it’s a nightmare and a fantasy all at once = moments of timidness in the corner on the couch holding the brown water jug = I’m a part of a live neon picture you might find in Spencer’s = I could easily imagine unicorns but none would appear = objects are morphing size and shape = I’ve entered a time void = strangers enter, strangers of The Trip—they’re friends though, friends of the realm = a togetherness, we all take notice to the need for nourishment:::::sandwiches, raw green bean sandwiches, pasta = the flow = the flow = the flow = sound is a shift = the music echoing and breaking this audio distortion doesn’t make sense = let me put this into words carefully = I’m without inhibitions = expanding boundaries = touch...I’m touching my feet I’m touching your shoulder I’m touching everyone an epidermis circus the sensation of touch is not normal vibrations in my teeth when I bite = outside the trees the dreamy cloudy sky everything’s foggy hazy dazy I’m dizzy = I’m dreaming! it feels like a dream! = is the ground wet? is it dry? I don’t know I can’t tell = sometimes paranoia: the front door creaking open and shutting who is that who could that be my vision darting every which-a-way = nobody is supposed to leave! everyone should be HERE close I want to be close!!!!




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At some point after 3 a.m. I finally come down from the trip. Anthony arrives home after his New York trip.

“Anthony! You’re back!”


Later, it’s just me and Josiah lying on the couches. I’m drawing and writing in my notebook attempting to capture something...


Eating a bowl of Cheerios with Brown Sugar. My reality is back to normal. I’m thinking coherently and with focus. That was magikal.


Sleep after 5 a.m.


[i] All photos taken by me.

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