DREAM: Running and jumping—long lumping over this amphitheater-like set of hills. Surprised at the lengths and heights I’m able to make. While in the air I flail my arms to keep the momentum going. Finally I land softly in a grassy patch. A person I recognize from church is preaching at me. He’s walking closer and closer to my area.
Waking up just before 1 p.m.
Banana.
Stretching and exercising in the living room to Sleeping States.
Picking up my Russian friend Anna and doing some grocery runs—The Heritage—Kroger—Trader Joe’s.
Me: “I’m sad. Change makes me sad. But it’s good.”
Mango Kombucha. Vanilla Bean Cookies.
Grilled Cheese with Tomato. Potato Chip Trio. White Peach Tea.
Watching Traffic [2000].
Napping...
Recording at the storage unit.
“...distance is tough to deal with when its away from someone you love...being productive helps...”
“Keep busy. Its about balance. But invest your time in positive things!”
Lemon Pepper Salmon with Onions and Rice. Baby Broccoli. Newcastle.
Watching Traffic [2000].
Google work.
It’s sinking in...so immensely...and so quickly. Alone. Without her. Disconnect. I find my mind wandering to other fixes and distractions, but none would satisfy. I know. Instead I just sit here and do my work. There’s really no other word or statement to describe how I feel except...sad. I’m missing a piece of myself. She’s out there in La La land dabbling and prepping herself for new things. I am too I suppose. I thought I might already be prepared to fly solo. Possibly I am. Maybe this is only the bitter beginning of the fall out and in due time I’ll have muscle and dissonance from the chains I ever so sweetly locked myself into for the past 3 years.
1:11 a.m. “loneliness is tough. but i was thinking about it today and maybe we give love too much credit.”
“i think i just need to keep reminding myself that things aren’t as dramatic as we make them.”
“...sometimes you gotta bring yourself back down to earth.”
“cause that’s exactly where love takes you: away from earth..‘earth to robert!’”
Finally emerging out of my hole...making Chocolate Chip Cookies.
Anthony is thoroughly enjoying the Supertones CD I found in my collection. Ska!
Pouring a bowl of milk...
Darren: “Okay you fucking cat!”
I try to explain to Darren this makes it much easier to dip cookies into rather than a cup.
Finishing Traffic [2000].
Sleep 4 a.m.
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