DREAM: I’ve arrived on the continent of Antarctica. I’ve reached the end of the world—The South Pole. There’re manmade walls blocking any way through like in The Truman Show. It’s not cold either. I’m disappointed in the lack of realism and natural environment. It doesn’t make any sense. Still water...shore. Black ice infrastructure. Sifting through cracks in couches—finding quarters and dimes (coin change) left behind by other explorers. Later, a game of basketball in a swimming pool.
Waking up at 1:49 p.m.
Banana. Chocolate filled French Toast.
Tomorrow is 11/11/11. I’m brainstorming on things to film for the One Day on Earth project: http://www.onedayonearth.org/
One of my ideas involves a meeting with Margot. I want to capture a moment on the beach—a reunited moment between her and I exchanging affection...but of course this goes against the rules we set out of non-contact. I call her to see what she thinks.
...
She’s unsure about it—she thinks I’m using it as an excuse to see her, which is partially true. But this is an important day for me and I want to see the people important to me.
Me: “I still daydream about you. It’s ridiculous. I have to change the channel on my daydream TV. But it’s just another episode of the same thing.”
...
She seems really inviting over the phone with a voice that says It’s lovely to hear you. But...
Her: “We’re cheating. This is not non-contact...”
Me: “I know...”
...
She playfully announces she wants to go get some food at Panera, hinting...“And I may or may not see people I know????”
Me: “...like me?”
Her: “If I see you in public I won’t feel as guilty.”
I drive up there. Walk in the double glass doors. There she is in glasses and modest winter wear eating broccoli cheddar soup, her favorite. I sit down next to her—familiar smells—squeezing, embracing like a child would seeing their mother after a day at the nursery.
Me: “Look at you. You look so good.”
Conversation is light—other customers eating their respective meals around us—her body feels so warm and comforting. Partly feeling guilty for giving into this (seeing her in person)...
...
Me: “I’m still in love with you.”
Her: “I told you. All you have to do is ask...”
...
I get called in to China Wok during our Panera meeting—making a few extra bucks.
Back home.
Tofu and Shitake Mushrooms with Rice and a Carrot.
At the card table with Darren, Josiah, Stephanie, and Amanda enjoying a Paulaner Hefe-Weizen.
Stef is stoked on Canada after just coming back from there—attempting to gather everyone to move with her...
Stef: “You guys are coming to Tor[a]nto. I feel it in my bones. Robert, you have to come. Everything’s cute there!”
Darren: “He’s not going! He’s cultivating a legion...He’s going to be in Chanticleer forever.”
...
Darren: “If you’re preborn you’re golden. If you’re preschool then you’re fucked.”
...
Darren: “This is America. It’s a pseudo free country!”
...
Stef (to Darren): “You should be an anchor-woman.”
...
Elisa: “I am not CJ!!!!”
Sharing Chocolate Chip Cookies. Milk.
Recording at the storage unit.
The moon is so bright tonight I’m almost convinced it’s the sun.
It’s officially 11/11/11. I don’t feel any different. But maybe the shift in consciousness comes later.
Popcorn.
Max Payne [2008].
Sleep 4:30 a.m.
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