[i]
Waking up around 11:30 a.m.
Giving my roommate Elisa a ride to work...
“I hate Lynnhaven Parkway.”
Cinnamon Oatmeal with Brown Sugar, Flax Seed, Raisins, and Milk. An Egg. Orange Strawberry Banana Juice. Zinc (50mg).
Organizing.
Grilled Cheese with Tomato. Potato Chip Trio. Banana. Honey Green Tea. Ontbijtkoek (Dutch Spice Cake).
Watching Seraphim Falls (2006).
Helping Josiah transport the black futon and bunk loft to his new one bedroom apartment over by the T.J. Maxx. He’s got a place all to himself—a really nice set up. It seems to suit him and the privacy he’s been looking for.
Quick Vaginasaurs rehearsal at Stephanie’s. Then to the garage show at Clinton’s house in King’s Grant.
Wawa dinner: Toasted Veggie Sandwich with Provolone Cheese.
It’s freezing outside but warm in the garage. Two hip looking black dudes from Portsmouth, both brothers, perform a set as All The King’s Men, covering Weezer and The Killers. Then we, The Vaginasaurs rock it—dress wearing—purple dreaded wig bobbing—doo-wop girl punk. We get a lot of compliments on the new tunes. Then Rusty’s band, Trust Fall pumps out their off-kilter punk. Smoking a Black & Mild. Enjoying the friends and camaraderie.
[ii]
Back home. Darren and company are making tie-dye shirts.
Eating a bowl of Lucky Charms and Dutch Cookies.
Earlier Margot had requested to do something tonight. Of course I was preoccupied with the garage show but told her I’d call afterwards. I find myself having those stupid feelings of jealousy when she tells me she is now hanging out with a male friend I’ve never heard of and it won’t be till after midnight when she’s free. She assures me to not be weirded out...
She comes over around 1 a.m. I’m super tired already and there’s a squabble about my annoyance with her late arrival. The undetermined state of our relationship is confusing. I don’t understand how it got to this point again. We’ve been here before...years ago...in relationship limbo. It’s a stressful uneasy place to be. In my mind I know I don’t want to be dating her. I’ve made that clear over the past 4 or 5 months. But we both know it’s all or nothing. I know this all too well. And that’s why I’m so reluctant to let it go...cause nothing could be inevitable. Her complete and total absence is a scary thing. I found myself almost achieving that once or twice but then the communication ignited again and it’s only a matter of time till the cycle continues...
Sleep eventually.
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