[i]
☼ ○ ▬
Walking through some sort of museum with comrades. We come
across an interactive display representing a lost subculture of people that wear
these electronic backpacks which have a flat grid screen built into it flashing
different 8-bit designs in an orange tint. It’s also understood to be related
to the Crossfire board game that was popular in the 90’s. I show my friend who
is just as excited about these packs as I am. I pick one up and strap it around
my shoulders. A mask/helmet comes with it but I don’t find it comfortable. One
of our comrades is a robot creation with the ability for dual presence, meaning
she can be in one place and another copy of her can be in another. There’s an
understood attraction between her and I but more on her end – she makes moves
on me but I know it’s not beneficial for me. I watch as her evil copy does
something sexual with Margot in front of the Crossfire subculture display.
Meanwhile her more centered self attempts to keep my attention by seductive
glares and words. I’m not that interested in much of anything that’s going on.
I stay reserved.
▬ ○ ☼
Alarm goes off at 10:50 a.m.
Hot Cinnamon Oat Bran with Brown Sugar, Flax Seed,
Blueberries, and Milk. OJ.
All day shift at China Wok.
It’s a slow one.
Egg Sandwich with Mayonnaise and Tomato. Five Guys French
Fries. Honey Oolong Tea.
The day continues...cautiously...without urgency.
Snacking on Quaker Cheddar Cheese Rice Snacks.
Finally off work.
Broccoli and Snow Peas with Rice in Black Bean Sauce. Corona
with a Lime.
Earlier I texted Becca out of a sudden burst of nostalgic
inspiration...
“becca! I want to do the waffle house thing with you
tonight! please! okay? ill buy your waffles. you shape my head. c’mon...like
old times. ill even record our conversation.”
Luckily, she agreed it was time. So we meet up at Waffle
House off Indian River. In our respected booth in the corner. It’s been at
least a year since we’ve met up here. This used to be a Monday night tradition.
I find it funny that our late night elderly teacher man is here as usual. We
begin our conversation...
...
Music in dreams – the difficulty of remembering the jingles
after waking up.
...
Me: “I’m such a sentimental guy. That’s my problem. And I
realized something today too – different things about how people think and how
the way they see a relationship. Sometimes you have to remind yourself the way
you view the world is not how someone else views the world. Just because I get
emotional or I think this is important doesn’t mean this person thinks its as
important.”
Becca: “Right. There’re different rules that would apply.”
Me: “They have different expectations and priorities...”
...
Me: “Sometimes too much awareness is not a good thing.”
...
Me: “Why do people like to take pictures of their
genitalia?”
...
We get into it over our respective romantic relationships
and how long they’ve endured. Sometimes there’s doubt. We both like to
humorously imagine us years down the road...
Becca: “I’m really terrified, like, one day we’re like 40
and I’m like, Yeah the divorce has finally gone through.”
[Haha]
Me: “Yeah you’re gonna be 40 and I’m gonna be 41. We’ll be
like, Hey you wanna go to Waffle House? We haven’t done that in a few years.
And we’ll meet up here. You’ll be like, Yeah so the divorce papers finally
went through. And I’ll be like, Yeah Margot and I got in a fight again.
She called the cops for like the tenth time. [Haha] I just don’t know what I’m gonna do man.
I feel like I love her and hate her all at the same time. [Haha]
We laugh at our future selves.
...
Getting Waffles and Coffee.
...
Complaining about the lack of sleep she’s been getting
lately
Becca: “For some reason I can’t sleep lately. I can’t sleep
very well. A couple hours a night.”
Me: “A couple hours a night? Becca, that’s not normal.”
Becca: “But this week has been pretty good for that. I got
up to 5. And I slept 12 hours one night.”
Me: “Ha. 12 hours? You realize that’s half of 24.”
Becca: “Yeah I was catching up I guess. I feel like that’s a
big issue to every thing else in my life.”
Me: “Lack of energy and lack of rest are definitely gonna affect
everything in your life.”
...
Becca: “You need to build an empire around you wherever you
go.”
Me: “I do?”
Becca: “You do and you will.”
Me: “I do and I will.”
...
Me: “I love being ambiguous. It’s fun isn’t it?”
Becca: “Yes.”
Me: “It’s really fun.”
Becca: “I’m all about that.”
Me: “You’re the king of that.”
Becca: “I know.”
Me: “You really are. Like, sometimes it’s easier for you to
be ambiguous than it is to be straightforward. Is that weird though? Shouldn’t
it be easier for people to be straightforward?”
Becca: “I appreciate when people are straightforward.”
Me: “Yeah. I know right. But you’re just ambiguous all the
time.”
Becca: “It’s funner.”
Me: “Funner is not a word. It’s a better way of life.”
Becca: “It’s a better way of living.”
[Haha]
Me: “It’s a better way of living.”
...
It’s time to leave Whouse.
Back home.
Sleep at 4 a.m.
[i] Kilian Eng.
