[i]
DREAM: An exaggerated replay of last night’s rant. I’m grilling Margot in the bedroom about this guy she said she’s attracted to. Things get heated and I get angry because of her ignorant responses. At one point I tower over her, halfway pinning her to the bed.
Her: “This is called rape.”
What? Why would she say that?
Me: “What? I’m not trying to have sex with you! We’re just talking.”
...
I get so frustrated I slap her in the face, not too hard but hard enough to be disrespectful...
Me: “I’m not going to punch you. I’m just trying to slap some sense into you.” (Or something like that)
Things calm down and she leaves the room. I run to the kitchen and drink glass after glass of water. I have an insatiable thirst. I see her on the back patio curled up in a chair next to her mother and other family members. I feel bad...and unresolved.
That was just a dream. I open my eyes at 9:05 a.m. and get myself a glass of water from the fridge tap. Then back to sleep. Her alarm goes off an hour later. She goes to school. I stay in bed pondering about things and writing.
[Text message]
Her: “Are you ok? You seemed kinda cold to me this morning :(”
Me: “sorry. not only did I dream of water but also had a bad dream that replayed last night’s insecurities. it stressed me out.”
Her: “Babyyy I love you”
Me: “I know. I still don’t feel very good.”
Her: “I don’t like that”
She gets back from school and joins me on a road adventure to South Norfolk to meet with a tax specialist my mom used to know. Grace, the old lady, greets me when I enter her house with, “I see you forgot to comb your hair.” She’s got that old lady charm. It’s hard to explain my special work situation to her but eventually we come to an understanding on how I should pay my taxes quarterly.
...
Margot wants to check out this new retail store she heard of at MacArthur mall. So we stop in and browse for a brief time then leave.
Back at her place. I was going to go home but she mentioned taking a shower and explains this is when she’ll be removing her tampon. Shower sex is fun. Afterwards, we lie on the bed for a few minutes of napping.
Me: “I feel like sex is such a hassle when you’re on your period.”
Her: “Yeah, it really is.”
I go back home and put on the flannel shirt that she bought for me some years ago. She requested I wear it for our little date to Five 01 City Grill for happy hour. I arrive. She’s a tad bit fashionably late.
Her: “Aw! You look so cute. I’m glad you wore that.”
We sit down. She examines her freshly curled hair in the mirror. She prides herself in physique and glamour.
Her: “I’m so pretty!”
Me: “You’re so full of yourself.”
I have a Tiramisu martini. And we snack on Crispy Calamari together.
Scanning the drink menu...
Me: “Oo. The Flirtini.”
Her: “I think I’ll get that one next.”
Me: “That’s appropriate.”
Her: “I’m such a lovebug...since the day I was birthed.”
...
At some point, bitter topics are brought up, on my end mostly, and our conversation turns sour. But I liven things up with a cute act of vying for kisses.
Back home. Wow. I’ve spent a significant amount of time with Margot these past few days. It feels bittersweet. But I also feel closer and more in love.
Configuring my estimated tax payments.
Black Beans, Garbanzo Beans, Broccoli, Carrots, Jalapenos, and Rice.
Margot comes over to spend the night. While I nibble on my dinner we chat about calm and normal things.
She goes to sleep. And I continue my tax studies and other research.
Aloe Vera Drink.
Sleep 3 a.m.
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