[i]
DREAM: I’ve joined a space troupe on a mission to reach
another planet. All of us are strapped down in our chairs on a
space-airplane-shuttle ready to take off. I question the captain in charge
about the flight time. He doesn’t give me a straight answer but assures me this
is at least a 3-week trip.
☼☼☼
I’m in Margot’s bed. She’s already left for school. It’s about mid-morning time. A Spanish mother in her late 30’s brings her 4 kids into the room. It’s understood that this Spanish mother and I have had sex in the past but it’s been kept a secret. Feeling sexually deprived we make moves on each other in the bed. We reach a point where we’re naked and ready for sex. I stop and apologize because I don’t have a condom. She grabs a thick green packet out of her purse. I open it up. But for some reason we mutually decide not to do anything. We leave the bedroom with her kids. Just outside is a cafeteria area. Margot returns shortly after. I act happy to see her and she’s happy to see me. I think to myself what great timing because if the Spanish mother and I continued what we were doing then Margot would no doubt have walked in on us. I’m grateful.
☼☼☼
Waking up at 1 p.m. The guilty feelings of the dream
transfer to reality. For a minute I’m convinced the sexual encounter actually
happened. Whenever I’m sexually deprived in waking life I notice a pattern of
sex dreams with other people.
Grapes and Vanilla Yogurt.
Darren and Andy are cooking. I give Darren a hard time about
always buying the prepackaged Spanish rice.
Darren: “Don’t judge me.”
Me: “Don’t judge who?” referring to his constant judgment on
others.
Darren: “I don’t judge you! I just offer you advice.”
Egg Sandwich with Mayonnaise and Tomato. Creamy Tomato Soup.
Tortilla Chips with Fresh Guacamole. Honey Oolong Tea. Chocolate Crème Cookies.
Watching The Thin Red Line (1998).
Working out at the gym – running – weight lifting.
Banana.
There’s a crowd downstairs around the card table...Darren,
Andy, Rachel, Josiah, and Corbin.
...
Leftover Cod Fillets with Broccoli, Mushrooms, and Rice.
Making Chocolate Chip Cookies from scratch. It’s been a
while since the last batch. And there’s anticipation.
...
Corbin: “No homo, Robert, but these cookies are better than
my mom’s.”
In my room – editing old blog entries.
Familiarizing myself with melodies on the guitar.
Sharing a smoke out front with Josiah. With clove in hand I
listen to him talk about a recent muse he’s acquired – helping him write more.
I explain to him I still have my forever muse – for now – “We’ll see how it
goes.”
Margot shows up. Up in my room it’s clear that she wants my
sex.
“C’mere...”
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3
...
Relaxing in the bed about to go to sleep...
Me: “I’m really glad we had sex tonight...you don’t
understand.”
[i] Chocolate
Chip Cookie Necklace (found on Kerry’s Etsy).
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