[i]
Sometime around 9 a.m. I’m awoken to Kristin’s restlessness
once again. She just wants to touch and pamper me. Sparse sleep here and there
until it’s closer to 11 a.m.
...
Her: “I don’t like that I like you so much.”
Apricots. Orange Peach Mango Juice.
All day shift at China Wok.
Steady as she goes.
Scrambled Egg with Tomato. Five Guys French Fries. Honey
Green Tea.
Contemplating on the progression between Kristin and I.
There’s still no pressure to lock into something exclusive just yet but I do feel
an uneasy resistance on my end. I don’t want to admit that she might be scaring
me away with her insecurities (the red flags). And I don’t think that’s the
entire reason because I do sense a ton of empathy and sincerity in her. I could
see her being a great lover and good girlfriend. However, I predict getting
more and more apprehensive, and her pushing more and more. She’s super sweet
and adorable. And I’ve already revealed enough about myself to hook her. The
problem is I might be feeling the need to stay alone and date around as
necessary. But I’ll continue to ride this out cause it feels right.
...
Thinking more about it, she’s somewhat of a novelty to me.
She represents a gothic aesthetic I used to fantasize about, and I don’t just
mean sexually. Like in an Addams Family sort of way. Maybe this has to do with
my crush on Christina Ricci growing up, not that Kristin looks like her. I
appreciate her spunkiness and spookiness.
The day continues.
Vegan Chocolate Chip Cookies.
It’s busy just enough to make money and not an order too
much. Smooth. I believe smooth is the best word to describe today. All the
deliveries are close by and without complications. I only have to snap the peas
on one side because the other side is already snipped. The weather is fresh and
springy. Everything about these waking hours has been a smooth ride.
Off work and back home.
James Graves brought a guy friend over. Kevin, Richie, Don,
and Jenji are here. I plop down on the couch with my dinner and we entertain
ourselves with Independence Day (1996).
Tofu with Broccoli, Snow Peas, Onions, and Rice in Garlic
Sauce.
Settling down in my room. Need to catch up on rest. Watching
a little bit of The Addams Family (1991).
Sleep at 3 a.m.
[i] Christina
Ricci. Image source unidentified.
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