[i]Waking up at 2 p.m.
Strawberry Toaster Pastries. Orange Juice.
Trip to Oceana Salvage to see if they have the proper
headlight for my car and a new stereo.
Grilled Cheese Bagel with Tomato and Hummus. Tortilla Chips
with Avocado and Salsa.
Watching The Dark Knight (2008).
Troubleshooting my car’s stereo. Compiling some old artwork
of Phil’s and other miscellaneous works into protective sleeves.
Doing crunches while learning Russian.
Leslie pops in with a heavy blanket of concerns.
...
Kevin arrives home from work with multiple boxes of leftover
pizzas from Chanello’s. I grab a few slices but add some sautéed Black Beans,
Onions, Peppers, and Mushrooms to them.
...
In my room Leslie discovers my homemade Mancala egg carton.
We engage in one lengthy game while making fun of each other.
My fingers smell of garlic as I continue to pack all the
artwork into the plastic sleeves. Leslie divulges into a detailed
psychoanalysis of her fears in love and relationships.
...
Leslie: “It’s basically like I’m existing within extremes
and I know that I need to, like, come a little bit closer to equilibrium from
where I am but I was on the other side of that spectrum for so long that this
seems like a better place to be when in truth its really not any greater, it
just feels like it is...”
...
Me: “Where do you wanna be? Where will you be happiest?”
Leslie: “In truth I don’t believe that [he]’s ever going to
be emotionally sophisticated enough to be with me.”
...
Me: “Not everyone understands you. You can’t possibly
understand everyone!”
...
Me: “It’s hard to eliminate people out of your life...that
have already created such a deep connection...”
Leslie: “For me to elect to remove somebody from my life is
like the craziest thing in the world for me...”
Pumpkin Pie and a Bud Light.
Leslie sends me an after-text...
“Two Things: Thing One-My relationship and thusly my
retrospectively realized rationale can be summed up like this, I care(d) too
much, when he didn’t care enough. Thing Two-I am really glad we have forged
this friendship of sorts; and with that I am exceedingly grateful for your
care/compassion, our interactions and such. Seriously and genuinely, thank you
for being so kind to me. *but no thank you for being the biggest, bossiest, buttmunch
of a mancala monarch :c)”
Sleep 4:30 a.m.
[i]
Playing-a-Game-of-Mancala. Hermann Reisz.
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