[i]
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A woman is being scorned by a hotheaded critic of sorts. He iterates that she keeps a secret and it becomes her identity, controlling her life.
I try to argue, "Look man, just because she identifies with a secret that she keeps doesn't mean it's her whole identity!"
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Waking up around 11:30 a.m. Ana had gotten up multiple times throughout the night. Apparently her period this month has reached terribly uncomfortable heights. I recall one moment of her frantically crawling out of bed and stumbling onto the carpeted cat tower in route to the bathroom. I feel sympathy for her. She's lying on her stomach now. I wrap my arm around with care and tell her she can sleep as long as she wants. I whisper, "I hope you feel better."
Cinnamon Raisin Bagel with Vegan Cream Cheese. Orange Juice.
All day shift at China Wok.
My boss is not thrilled about the warm October weather. He says its 88 degrees today.
Sundays, and especially Sunday this month, are designed for the Chinese food delivery business. It's nothing but a steady flow of orders.
Brief stop at the house for lunch. Ana is still here. I brought her some hot and sour soup. Eating an Egg Salad Sandwich with Tomato Salt n Vinegar Chips, and Honey Green Tea. I get the call from my boss, "You coming back?"
My China Wok haze continues.
Banana.
Ana's still hanging around the house. She had asked me through text if she could read one of the books from my shelf.
Ana: "Being in your room...laying on your carpet...in my corner...reading...with the fan blowing is so peaceful."
Strawberry Greek Yogurt.
Some of my deliveries are a little far away but it's not such an annoyance today because the tips are generous and I'm allotted plenty of time to finish The Great Gatsby audio book. Fitzgerald's words are absolute brilliance.
Off work and back home.
Ana's still here. Her and Sasha baked together, well non-baked that is because the recipe was No Bake Chocolate Oatmeal Cookies. I nibble one and how splendid they turned out.
I mention how positive of a day I had and the topic of how important it is to keep a positive attitude in life.
She says something kind of funny in regards to it, "Yeah. Open up your face."
"Open up your face?" I question what she meant, "You mean like this?" I take both my hands to press down on my cheeks and pull the skin back as much as I can.
She laughs. But I knew what she really meant. In her own unique understanding she meant that it is important to keep your face (your eyes, your hears, your breathing orifices) open as opposed to closed off and reserved.
Me: "I can't wait to have a kid cause I'm gonna use that on them. Whenever they're having a bad day or something I'll be like, 'Okay, let's open up our face!' 'Do I really have to?' 'Yes! C'mon. Do it with me.' Then they'll start laughing and it'll make them feel better."
She leaves me be for the night.
Rotisserie Chicken with Broccoli, Onions, Carrots, and Rice in Garlic Sauce.
Watching Breaking Bad.
Ana texts me, "Remember the second time I came back into bed this morning and told you what was wrong and how I was feeling? Well after that happened, you really made me feel warm when you put your left arm around me. I really felt like you genuinely cared, and it was very sweet of you. It was a small sweet moment. I'm not sure if you hear me tell you that you were sweet."
She adds, "You're such a good person."
Eating up those no-bake goods.
It's pretty late. I run downstairs to check the thermostat and discover Kevin and Sasha smooching in the kitchen. They must be drunk.
To Kevin I say, "Taking advantage of the roommates I see."
They both smile embarrassingly.
Kevin retorts with a mischievous face, "I don't know what you're talking about."
Sleep 4 a.m.
[i] Face the Whole. Daehyun Kim.
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