[i]
☼ ○ ▬
My friend just started paying rent on an office space for $8 a month but he's only allowed to keep 12 light bulbs plugged in. He won't even be able to use the space until he pays more. I explain to him how silly this is.
Me: "Why are you even paying rent at all. You can just hold on to the light bulbs without using them."
He has a wow, you're right moment. Later it's understood him, myself, and a few other buddies are attending this Christian summer camp of some kind. We're shacked up in the same office space. Everybody heads off somewhere except for one of the guys and myself. It's understood this guy, who happens to be big boned and obese, and I are having a love affair. But I'm supposed to be a girl. He's lying on the couch. I crawl on top of him.
"I'm gonna ride you," I whisper seductively. "Is that okay with you?"
He seems to be into it but needs to take care of something in the bathroom first. By this time the other dudes have returned. I walk out into the hallway to talk with one of my friends. All of a sudden Margot, my ex-girlfriend, and a guy named Morgan walk by us. Why is she here? I can't figure it out. I catch a detailed look at Margot's face. She doesn't look any different than I remember except there're these little red spots on her skin. I sense that she recognizes me but she refuses to say hi or even return any kind of a look of familiarity. I go back inside our room and express my frustrations to my obese boyfriend or whatever he is to me.
Me: "She's such a pompous bitch! I don’t understand why she's here. She doesn't go to these types of things."
Just seeing her here really bothered me so much that my lips tighten up and I start crying.
▬ ○ ☼
Waking up at noon.
Strawberry Honey Bunches of Oats with Nuts and Almond Milk.
Valentine's Day traffic is ludicrous.
Plant Fusion Protein Drink with Orange Juice. Egg. Naan Bread with Hummus.
Meeting up with Ana at The Escape for a good workout. I'm starting to really understand the best routine to get into for a workout plan.
I've got a few hours to work at China Wok. Ana hangs back at the house doing makeup with Jessica, the new roommate.
Apple.
Sharing dinner at the table with Ana and Jessica. Baked Parmesan Haddock Fillets with Perogies and a Salad. I may have overly salted the fish but it's not too overwhelming.
A brief discussion between Ana and I on the dangers of leveling with others and how one's perspective can mirror the other person's and in essence you can lose who you are. There's nothing wrong with seeing through the lens of somebody else – it's a good skill – but you have to learn to protect your truth and your views.
Ana drives us out to Norfolk for this V-day dance party at The Iguana. Sipping on and finishing off Almond flavored Sparkling Wine on our way there. We have to pick up a few friends of hers, Vanessa and John, who live in Ocean View. At Vanessa's house we wait at the bottom of the stairwell chitchatting with Vanessa's parents, one of whom is a vibrant 72-year-old man – he recommends transcendental meditation to Ana. Meanwhile, I share affection with the two dogs, one with cataracts in her eyes. We scoop up John and after a Johnny Cash soundtrack on the stereo we've made it to the club formerly known as 37th and Zen.
There's hardly anyone here. It's kind of hit or miss for a holiday like Valentine's Day. A lot of couples planned their own events but I know Ana and I were itching to cut a rug, and that's why we're here. I order a few beers and our little group takes over the dance floor. Gabe Niles deejays a mixture of pop and hip-hop. It doesn't matter whether or not we approve of every song; we're not picky. I let my body go, sometimes observing the shadows on the wall mimicking my movements. There's something beautifully cathartic about dancing – our bodies were meant to move like this. Ana takes a few trips to the restroom. I playfully follow behind and slap a few kisses on her lips behind the doors. She looks charming in her black dress with the revealing spidery threads on the backside.
[ii]
In reaction to Ana's tribal and uninhibited style of dancing Vanessa says, "If I ever go exploring in the Amazon, Khrizzia is who I'd want to find dancing naked."
I couldn't agree more.
...
We use up the last of our energy and leave around 1:30 a.m. I nap in the passenger seat on the way home.
Up in my bedroom I immediately prepare us for a sexual fantasy. We clamor onto each other. It's all wonderfully exciting and satisfying.
Sleep at some late hour.
[i] Images by me.
[ii] Images by Ana.
