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Waking up at 11:30 a.m.
Honey Crunch n Oats with Strawberries, Pumpkin Seed Meal, and Almond Milk.
Clearing out the back patio. There's a lot of useless junk that's just been rotting away one rainfall after the other. It feels good to clean it all out and make the back area inhabitable again.
Grilled PB&J. Banana. Green Yerba Mate Tea.
Teaching piano lessons at Music Makers.
Honey Crisp Apple.
Kefir with Blueberries.
Attempting to workout at The Escape but my energy is at a loss. I don't know if it's from the light lunch or from the six back-to-back lessons I had, probably a combination of both.
Home. Whitney arrives back from California. Pumpkin desperately missed her. He meows persistently all throughout the evening. Ana arrives. I'm in charge of dinner tonight: Maple Garlic Black Beans with Onions; Roasted Kale Sprouts and Carrots; and Quinoa – an absolutely satisfying meal. I never had kale sprouts before – it's like a cross between brussel sprouts and Russian red kale.
Ana and I decide to paint some clay pots. I pull out the collage/paint materials and we go at it. Meanwhile, Kevin gets off work and gets weirdly interested in the last game of the World Series.
Me: "I don't remember Kevin being into baseball."
During the course of the night Ana displays a solemn aura. I'm not sure the cause of it. There seem to be a lot of triggers in our interaction. I don't really know how to handle it.
Eventually, we end up lying in bed together like we always do. She curls up into a fetal position as I wrap my arms around her body.
I explain, "It's okay to be here...back to the egg in the fetal position. We all come back to the egg at some point. It's safe here. But eventually the egg's gonna crack again and you've got to come out to the world."
She says something about always crying when she's with me and not other people. I try my best to encourage and comfort her. These are hard times for 20-somethings. I was there once. Sometimes I feel I'm still there but the difference is I've gained a bit of clarity and acceptance.
Somehow we drift off to sleep. I wake up periodically in the beginning stages of sleep to her calling my name and wanting to talk more. And of course, later on in the dark early hours of the next morning we'll have sex.
[i] Images by me.
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