This is an open and unfiltered diary-style journal
on the life of James Robert Smith.
This blog will contain sometimes graphic experiences (both beautiful and ugly),
sometimes stark insight, and all honest and factual documentation of dreams, diet, activity, and thoughts.
Waking up real late some time after noon. Fortunately, I have the whole day off from lessons.
Steel Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maple Syrup, Blueberries, and Kefir. Coffee with Honey.
Playing around with Elvis and hanging with Ana in their bedroom.
Learning some Doors songs on the keyboard.
Doing teacher homework. Working out my schedule for the week. Designing a Weekly Practice Record for my students. Ana already drew one out so I'm just editing it into an organized look.
Fuji Apple.
ELO vocal rehearsal at the Right On warehouse.
Back home. I find my mom listening to Rosetta Tharpe in the living room. Enjoying a simple and nutritious dinner made by Ana: Tempeh with Onions, Kale, and Brown Rice.
Ana helps me put the finishing touches on the practice record. She's good with characters and coming up with inventive phrases.
Irish Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maple Syrup, Raisins, and Kefir. Yerba Mate Tea.
Spending my afternoon at the Rec roughing it up on the basketball courts. My jump shot isn't doing too well but I take on the support role by setting screens and getting rebounds.
Back home.
Scrambled Eggs. Toast with Non-Dairy Cream Cheese. Sweet Potatoes and Broccoli. Oolong Tea.
Watching John Wick (2014).
Running errands.
Working on things at the house.
Open-bowl Black Bean Tacos with Spring Mix, Carrots, Tomatoes, Cabbage, Rice, and Tortilla. Green Tea.
At the studio practicing piano – compiling a list of piano-exclusive songs that I can do at solo gigs.
Steel Cut Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maple Syrup, Raisins, and Kefir. Yerba Mate Tea.
Ana and I drive out to Norfolk for the annual Lava Fest at O'Conner's Brewery – right next to the railroad tracks in the middle of the warehouse district. Ladada is on the bill. We go on right at 2 pm. It's a short 25 minute set but a powerhouse collection of songs including a new tune. Afterwards, we hang with all our friends, eat, walk around, sit down, watch the other bands including Natalie Prass, a 757 native whom Josiah and I know from way back in the day. We're proud to see someone from here "make it" in music. She always had such a distinct and talented voice.
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Fish Tacos with Fries and a brew.
Ana and I leave the grounds to find smoothies and get a break from the scorching sun. On Colley Avenue I grab a Strawberry smoothie from Strawberry Fields.
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Later on, talking with Ana about how much I love performing and being in this kind of concert atmosphere. It's what I used to do with Mae all those years. I don't just wanna teach music but want to create and perform it. Whenever I attend events like this it just reminds me again what I really want.
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We arrive back to the festival and nap in the car. The No BS! Brass Band wakes us up with their raucous horns and drums.
Then, Charles Bradley (and his Extraordinaires). We heard about this 63-year old guy who used to impersonate James Brown back in the day. He's full of "soul", the authentic kind. It's like stepping into a time machine when watching him with his flashy sequins and suit attire. He gyrates and spreads out his arms – a big smile and joy seems permanently imprinted on his face – grabs the microphone stand and carries it like a cross.
"Y'all wanna go to church?" he asks the crowd. "Well I'm gonna take you there!"
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Before his last song he gives an inspirational speech about unity talking about red, white, and yellow roses.
"But don't forget about the black rose," he says with conviction. "I wish we could all come together and make a beautiful bouquet! No hate. No race. Just love, love, love."
It really is like we're at church cause it feels like an altar call especially with that Hammond organ resonating in the background. After the set is over he walks down the steps and greets everybody in the front with hugs and words of encouragement to all. As Ana points out, he's like a grandpa, a soul papa!
And then a complete u-turn of genres on the other stage: Dan Deacon, a vocoder shoutin' deejay with an Animal Collective sound but much more dancey. He corrals everyone to form a dance circle and get crazy.
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Ana and I call it a night during Minus the Bear's headlining performance. Back home making a quick Pizza or dinner.
Irish Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maple Syrup, Raisins, and Kefir. Yerba Mate Tea.
Teaching a new student, Mary Ann, who's in her 70's. She took lessons when she was younger. I gave her a theory lesson on how to differentiate between major and minor chords, and dominant 7th and major 7th chords. Just that opened up a whole new understanding of what she already knew.
Peanut Butter English Muffin. Potato Lentil Curls. Oolong Tea. Peach.
Dropping my RD-700 keyboard off again cause another key in the same octave is malfunctioning again.
Teaching my in-home lessons, one out in Lynnhaven and three out in Croatan.
Fuji Apple.
Back home. Having an early dinner: leftover Mung Beans, Basmati Rice, Kale, Spinach, Mushrooms, and Asparagus.
Editing footage from the last rock school.
Pineapple.
On my way out the door. Mom is sitting at the dining booth while Kevin marches down the stairs spouting some odd fact he knows off the top of his head, something about Liberia.
"I don't need the Internet," Kevin declares.
"Oh right! The Internet needs you," I say.
"I invented the Internet!" he says back.
"On that note, I'm out," as I walk out the door. Mom enjoys the entertainment between Kevin and I on a daily basis.
Taking my bike for an authentic ride to the oceanfront. It's kind of early in the night so there are crowds of bro's and drunk 20-somethings on the strip – cops on horses and motorcycles. Arriving at the 1st Street jetty – the fresh smell of the salty sea and fishy breeze from the nearby boats. Being here freeing my mind on my bike is what I'm looking forward to about the summer.
Irish Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maple Syrup, Raisins, and Kefir. Coffee.
Doing some cardio on the basketball courts at the Rec.
Banana.
Business.
Scrambled Eggs. English Muffin with Non-Dairy Cream Cheese. Corn Tortilla Chips with Avocado and Tomato. Pineapple Juice.
Watching God's Pocket (2014).
Teaching lessons at Music Makers.
Back home. Mom and I make dinner together: Mahi-mahi Filets with Roasted Sweet Potatoes, Asparagus, and Broccoli.
Turns out the dryer needs more repair cause there's still a squealing noise, even after replacing the drum glide. So I pull everything apart again. Locate the drum bearing – worn out, needs replacing, $7 on ebay. Drum belt – worn out, needs replacing, $8 on ebay.
Ladada rehearsal at the storage unit off Tidewater. Running through a set for the festival this weekend. Got some new jams to throw in there.
Steel Cut Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maple Syrup, Strawberries, and Kefir. Green Tea.
I finally gave in and upgraded my laptop to Windows 10. It's free and faster and more efficient. Why not. Working out the kinks.
Shopping at Whole Foods with Ana.
Grilled PB&J. Fuji Apple. Oolong Tea.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers.
The drum glide part came in the mail today. Working hard to clean off this adhesive residue and glue the new glide on. For whatever reason the hardest part is replacing the dryer hose. I can't seem to get the hose secure enough. Meanwhile, Kevin cooks his dinner and pokes fun at my tendency to curse myself.
Waking up at 11:14 a.m. It's very hard to awaken this morning and I don't know why.
Irish Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maple Syrup, Raisins, and Kefir. Yerba Mate Tea.
Playing pick-up basketball at the Rec. It feels good to exercise. Lately I've been noticing how tired I've been – I think it's because of not exercising enough. I pulled the middle finger muscle on my right hand from playing hard defense. It's not too bad but I'll be sore for a week or so. I can't seem to avoid injury whenever I play basketball.
Pineapple Juice.
Tuna Salad Sandwich with Cucumbers and Tomatoes. Parsnip Chips. Potato Lentil Curls. Oolong Tea.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers.
Fuji Apple. Banana.
The iPhone SE came in the mail today so I'm tinkering with it and learning new tips and tricks.
Leftover Mung Beans with Cauliflower, Carrots, Kale, and Quinoa.
Watching Goosebumps (2015).
Grapes.
Fixing some lyrics for the ELO project.
Talking with Ana about the possibility of owning Music Makers. On and off Drew has been speaking with me about it. Him and DeeGee want to sell Music Makers to somebody and they think I would be the best fit. It's a big decision to make. I'm not even sure if this is the direction I want to go in my life or not. I definitely enjoy teaching but I don't want to be caught up in everyone else's music dream. I have my own to worry about. But then again I don't want to pass up this opportunity. I've got a lot of thinking to do about it.
I'm involved in a sci-fi story. At first I'm just watching it like a movie but then I'm placed into the narrative. A band of survivors trapped inside a spacecraft of enormous size. Near the center we locate command control. Everyone's arguing about the electricity and whether or not we should activate it. There's concern about the "bad things" discovering we're here. Just as soon as it's mentioned I hear a noise from around the corner. The "bad things" have arrived. Val Kilmer, who plays the lead character in our group, assures me if I stand perfectly still they won't bother me. The "bad things" look like household items like dishtowels and rags just floating along. One of the rags inspects the area where I'm standing and brushes by my leg – its touch is super uncomfortable. I lift my leg away. Now it's suspicious. I decide it's time to run away and leave all of this behind. I run out from the ledge where I was standing and elevate into the air flapping my arms. I can hear the commotion I've started down below. My band of people are defending themselves and the "bad things" are attacking – some of them are running after me. This spacecraft is a wide open hall with towers of bunk beds stacked to the ceiling. I hop from one to the other continuing my elevation until I've reached safety at the top. I'm far, far away from the "bad things". They can't possibly know where I am now. I keep running and flying along on the top bunk bed. The mattress is unusually long. I discover another person up here underneath the covers. It's not really human but some hybrid form of human and alien understood to be a female.
"Oh!" I react. "You're up here too. How did you find this place?"
She seems polite and we strike up a friendship. Later on, I'm sleeping in a room on the top floor. I keep my eyes cracked open and notice Dennis Hopper, who plays a villain in this story, walks in with two guys. They've been searching the whole spacecraft for me and now they found me. I wake up slowly but without alarm. Dennis Hopper leaves. The two guys and I have fun doing summersaults in the bedroom.
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Waking up at 11:30 a.m.
Greek Yogurt with Oranges.
Shopping for groceries and errands with Ana. She's all chipper today cause it's her day off. A Porsche drives by...
Me: "Look I drive a Porsche of coursche!"
The Porsche merges into a turn lane without using a turn signal.
Me: "I don't use a signal cause I drive a Porsche of coursche!"
Scrambled Eggs. Bagel with Non-Dairy Cream Cheese. Corn Tortilla Chips with Avocado and Tomato. Yerba Mate Tea.
Full day of teaching lessons at Music Makers.
Back home for a minute. Ana prepped a couple Pizzas earlier in the day. I throw them in the oven while mom fixes us Salads.
ELO rehearsal.
Back home. My head is killing me.
Pineapple and Milk Chocolate. Chamomile Ginger Turmeric Tea.
Steel Cut Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maple Syrup, Raisins, and Kefir. Coffee.
Business. Scheduling.
Today's the big Rock School show at Eagle's Nest. We’ve got two bands, one with a mix of pre-teens and teens and the other with adults. I'm running all over the place trying to keep the stage organized and make sure everything goes smoothly. You can feel the nervousness in all the kids who are performing for the first time on stage. I know all too well what that feels like. You just gotta let them know to do the best they can. I'm proud of everyone.
Discussing with Will the positives and negatives of the PC vs Mac world we live in.
Teamwork dinner cooking in the kitchen with mom: Sprouted Mung Beans, Onions, Purple Cauliflower, Carrots, and Quinoa.
Taking apart the dryer to finally troubleshoot the intense squeaking problem we've been having – it's been a major stress factor in this house. After taking off the front panel it appears we need a new drum glide. I order one for $20 online. Meanwhile, between my mom, Will, and I we vacuum out the lint from all the crevices inside the dryer – picking up all of Kevin's lost socks behind the dryer – found half a crusty bagel that looks like it's been eaten by ants over the years (I explain to Will this is an remnant of The Bagel Wars – refer to https://youtu.be/-GBMq0C_u10).
Waking up at noon. Slept in later than usual I guess cause of the rain.
Irish Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maple Syrup, Raisins, and Kefir. Green Tea.
Dealing with leaky ceilings downstairs.
Coaching the last rock school session for the adult band.
Tuna Salad. Toast with Non-Dairy Cream Cheese. Corn Tortilla Chips with Avocado and Tomato. Oolong Tea. Danish.
Watching Synchronicity (2015).
Working on a few things – organizing.
Eggplant, Kale, Brown Rice Quinoa Noodles, and Fire Roasted Tomatoes.
At Wing King for the DEJA gig. Spirits are high tonight – it's a good time. We have a few appearances by other musicians sharing the stage with us. Sipping on a Shock Top while the rest of the guys down shots of Fireball.
Steel Cut Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maple Syrup, Raisins, and Kefir. Yerba Mate Tea.
Teaching a lesson.
Meeting with John from Mass Mutual to discuss upping the monthly payment into my Roth IRA account.
Scrambled Eggs. Bagel with Non-Dairy Cream Cheese. Corn Tortilla Chips with Avocado and Tomato. Oolong Tea.
Watching Trophy Kids (2016).
Teaching an in-home lesson out off Lynnhaven.
Checking out a thrift store the way back to Hilltop.
Coaching the last rock school session for our kid/teen band. Drew is present instead of Jimmy – he's pushing them right on through the set multiple times keeping them alert and thinking ahead. It's tough on them cause they just learned two new songs last time but they manage to get through it and it looks like they're having fun.
At the Rec exercising and playing a few pick-up basketball games.
Corralling my mom and Ana to Nawab, a local Indian cuisin restaurant down the street. Ana and I ate here on her birthday. We had to come back and experience the fresh variety of flavors.
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Chicken with Mango and Ginger. Eggplant and Kale. Garlic Naan Bread. Samosas. Basmati Rice.
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My mom makes an observation about our lives, something that is relevant to me especially. "Your daily life can consume you if you let it," she says.
Time just keeps flying and before you know it you're aging into oblivion.
Back home. Enjoying a couple Donuts Ana bought from My Vegan Sweet Tooth.
Tucking Ana into bed...
"Give me kiss," she pleads.
"Do you want an organic one or an all natural?" I ask.
"Organic. But I guess it won't be cause I asked you to."
At Busch Gardens with my mom, Ana, and some other family friends. We didn't even get the chance to go on any rides or roller coasters. We only had time to see a concert for some reason. I get left behind by everyone at the gate when exiting cause of one jerk-off security guard who has nothing better to do than randomly pick people out of the crowd and search them. I'm told to stand over to the side. I roll my two carts (from the storage unit) of stuff to the side and wait for what seems like forever. He's not even doing anything. He's just standing there looking busy.
I protest, "What the hell am I doing here? Can I please go?"
He's not interested in me leaving so I complain to another security guard (a lady) – she seems confused on why I'm waiting and says it's okay to go. I leave quickly but have difficulty pushing my two carts. After a while I locate my mom and her friend in the lobby.
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I'm stressed out about a hostile situation. In the city it's understood I'm renting an apartment and someone is holding one of my family members hostage inside. With stealth I creep around the side of the building looking for a unique way inside. I'm aware that the perpetrator has a sniper rifle of some kind aiming outside from the apartment window. After I make my way around back the scenario changes. It's now a semi-rural landscape. I march down a hill with a house in sight. I see the guy holding the gun aiming at me. I maneuver myself in zigzags and jump around so I'm not an easy target. I approach the front porch and make it inside. Somehow I grab the gun, which turns out to be a plastic almost toy-like gun. I aim at his head and pull the trigger but the bullet just barely comes out. Things get weird when the guy isn't a guy anymore. He's now a girl, attractive and young but with a little meat on her bones. She crawls on the table naked and gets on her hands and knees. I'm not sure what's happening. It seems like her goal is to sexually excite me so I forget about the bad things she did. But she doesn't have to try hard. Internally, I'm attracted to her but on the outside I'm still trying to get justice. Her relatives are standing around, a brother and a mother – it's as if this is their home. She goes to leave through the sliding glass doors and I follow with intent on reprimanding her. The two of us hop down from the doors and onto the grass. Immediately I grab her and we slide underneath the house. It's a sexual fire of mixed emotions cause just a minute ago I wanted to kill her but now I just want pleasure from her. We go at it quickly. There's a group of little kids running along the side of the house – they spot what's going on. I feel embarrassed but we don't stop what we're doing. I think at this point I realize I'm dreaming, or maybe I already realized that earlier and that's why I'm allowing this situation to escalate in this way cause it's a dream and not reality. I wouldn't do this in waking life.
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Waking up at 11:30 a.m.
Irish Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maple Syrup, Raisins, and Kefir. Yerba Mate Tea.
Teaching a lesson.
Riding my bike to the shop to pick up my car from getting an oil change.
At the Rec playing a game of basketball then shooting around until I can't stand it anymore.
Back home. Putting together a mish-mash meal of Beans, Quinoa, Spinach, and leftovers for dinner.
Pineapple Juice.
At the music space cleaning and organizing. Finished going through all my granddad's old music gear, most of it over 60 years old and amps still turn on and speakers work beautifully.
Irish Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maple Syrup, Raisins, and Kefir. Yerba Mate Tea.
Researching how to train a kitten to develop into a healthy cat. We've had issues with Elvis biting our hands and legs too much. Learning how to discipline him properly and teach him when his aggressive play has crossed the line.
Errands.
Scrambled Eggs. Toast with Non-Dairy Cream Cheese. Corn Tortilla Chips with Avocado and Salsa. Oolong Tea.
Watching Spotlight (2015).
Long day of teaching lessons at Music Makers.
Billy's ready for his Star Wars performance...
Back home. Mom made dinner: Tempeh with Onions, Mushrooms, Peppers, Broccoli, Carrots, and Basmati Rice.
ELO band rehearsal.
Cherries.
Hanging out with the cat and Ana in her bedroom. When Elvis gets tired of pouncing around the room we see the affectionate side to him.
Steel Cut Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maple Syrup, Raisins, and Kefir. Yerba Mate Tea.
Cleaning my granddad's old music equipment at the space.
Navel Orange.
Two rock school sessions.
Scrambled Eggs. Bagel with Cream Cheese. Roasted Potatoes. Oolong Tea.
Getting groceries at Trader Joe's.
Maple Leaf Cookies.
ELO vocal rehearsal at the warehouse off Lynnhaven.
Back home. Making dinner – mom arrives home to help out just in time.
Brown Rice Quinoa Spaghetti Noodles with Peppers, Onions, Mushrooms, and Tomato Sauce. Salad.
At the music space continuing to clean and test out my granddad's old music gear. Surprised to find that everything still turns on and works. Even though the amps are over 50 years old they've still managed to survive the elements and time.
Downstairs we enjoy her soft gooey delicious Oat Banana pancakes with Maple Syrup, Greek Yogurt, and Yerba Mate Tea.
Teaching an hour lesson at Music Makers.
At the Rec shooting the basketball around for exercise.
Giving myself a haircut – it seems like I get better and better every time.
PB&J English Muffins. Fuji Apple. Lentil Potato Curls.
Watching The VVitch: A New-England Folktale (2015).
Errands.
Navel Orange.
Making dinner for later.
Got another DEJA gig at South Beach Grill off Norfolk Avenue.
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Dinner break in between sets: Salmon, Beans, Kale, and Rice.
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Everybody is on fire tonight – Eric wails on the guitar like the master he is – Drew gets creative with the coolest fills and plays so hard his cymbal falls off – John takes charismatic control of the microphone and leads the bar crowd to a catharsis – Jimmy's thumping on the bass beautifully – even I felt on point.
Back home.
Pineapple Juice.
Chillin' with Ana and Elvis in the bedroom. The kitten has been exceptionally frisky lately – he keeps biting and scratching Ana's legs – he's just in constant attack mode – ATTACK! Attack everything!
Immediately after I have to high tail it to the DEJA gig on boardwalk near 7th Street in between Mahi Mah's and Chix. Earlier we were concerned about getting rained out but the skies cleared and the people cheered. Three 1-hour sets with two thirty-minute breaks. The Kain family I teach out in Croatan show up. The patios from the two restaurants are packed. It's a nice change to be playing outside next to the beach. Appeasing my appetite with a slice of Pizza from across the street.
Back home. Hanging out with my mom. She makes me a serving of Kale and Corn.
Steel Cut Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maple Syrup, Raisins, Maca, and Kefir. Yerba Mate Tea.
Teaching a lesson at Music Makers.
Shooting some basketball at the Rec.
Tuna Salad Sandwich with Lettuce and Tomato. Roasted Potatoes. Oolong Tea.
Watching 30 for 30: This Magic Moment (2016).
Teaching more lessons at Music Makers.
Dinner: Leftover Beans, Kale, and Wild Rice.
Attending poker night off Lynnhaven. I feel like every time I play with these guys I start to feel my way through them. My style of play is taking form and some of the other guys are noticing. I make it through way past half time but get demolished by better hands.
Irish Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maple Syrup, Raisins, and Kefir. Yerba Mate Tea.
Organizing. Business. Scheduling.
Picking up my keyboard from the repair shop.
Tuna Salad, Toast with Non-Dairy Cream Cheese, Corn Tortilla Chips with Avocado and Tomato, and Oolong Tea.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers.
Back home.
Roasted Potatoes, Brussel Sprouts, Onions, and Eggs for dinner.
DEJA rehearsal at the music space.
Back home. Snacking on Marshmallows, an Orange, and Herbal Tea.
Hanging out with Ana and Elvis in the bedroom. The cat still has an issue with pooping and stepping all in it. We can't trust him cause we never know when he's gonna tromp around with poopy paws.
I'm with Ana. It's 5 in the morning. We head over to her aunt's house where apparently everybody over there gets up at 5 in the morning every day. It's understood even Ana is used to this. Three of her cousins, which are little boys, are already outside with their school clothes on and lunchboxes.
I make a joke to them, "Look! The moon is out! Good morning."
Inside, Ana and I are trying to relax in her aunt's bed. It seems like we're trying to have sex but we reconsider cause of how inappropriate that might be in someone else's bed. But we're also very tired. I have to pee so I run into the bathroom where the floor is kind of wet and dirty. Later on, out in the back there's a shack with screens for walls. It's understood this is where Ana and I want to live. We were hoping to lie down in here and continue our plans to have sex but it's too out in the open. Behind the shack is a public lake. I lean over the railing and see dead black and white ducks floating in the water. Their fur resembles Elvis's tuxedo fur coat. Some of them are still alive but look like they're drowning. I try to ask someone nearby why this is happening. Nobody seems to know.
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Waking up at 11 a.m. Ana says out loud, "To eat oatmeal or to not eat oatmeal? That is the question."
We recount our dreams to each other. According to dreammoods.com, "To see a dead duck in your dream refers to a pessimistic outlook. You are set on a path that is destined for doom."
Steel Cut Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maple Syrup, Raisins, and Kefir. Yerba Mate Tea.
Skipp, the food angel, drops by with plentiful amount of fruits, veggies, and bread.
Prepping dinner and other things.
Grilled PB&J. Fuji Apple. Oolong Tea.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers.
Dried Mango.
At the Rec shooting the basketball just to get some exercise in.
Back home. Dinner with the family (Ana and mom): Beans, Stir-Fry Vegetables, and Brown Rice.
At the storage unit off Tidewater for Ladada band practice with Josiah and Bobby.
Driving back to the Markham house in Portsmouth to retrieve all the old music gear in the garage and an old Coca-Cola rack.
Back home. Giving my mom a hand at dinner but she mostly takes responsibility for it. It's kind of a southern-style dish: Chicken with Red Onions, Kale, Carrots, Madagascar Rice, and Fried Cornbread (the way my Grandma used to make it). Sitting down at the diner table enjoying our made-with-love meal with the two most important ladies in my life. Ana brought home a lavender plant for my mom. Happy Mother's Day!
The rest of the night continues busily. The goal is to clear out the corner in the dining room where Ana's pantry is and replace it with the vintage steel Coca-Cola rack I got from the Markham house. It requires a team effort between the three of us to clean the greasy shelves. I organize everything back on the shelf. There's so much going on all day long. Afterwards, enjoying a few relieving moments in Ana's bed with Elvis pouncing around.
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