This is an open and unfiltered diary-style journal
on the life of James Robert Smith.
This blog will contain sometimes graphic experiences (both beautiful and ugly),
sometimes stark insight, and all honest and factual documentation of dreams, diet, activity, and thoughts.
Irish Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maple Syrup, Blueberries, and Kefir. Yerba Mate Tea.
Teaching a lesson at Music Makers.
Running a few errands with mom and Ana.
Scrambled Eggs. Toast with Non-Dairy Cream Cheese. Corn Tortilla Chips with Avocado and Tomato.
Watching The Informant (2009).
Teaching lessons at Music Makers.
Back home.
Dinner with mom: Salmon, Cauliflower, Carrots, Red Peppers, Onions, and Couscous.
Going through the new music studio software I've set up for Music Makers. I have to have it all in order before next week. It's a lot of work inputting information for each student and making sure it's all accurate.
Pineapple.
Hanging out with Ana in her bedroom. Meanwhile, getting my hands and legs cut up by the cat.
Downstairs enjoying fresh homemade Blueberry Oat Waffles with Greek Yogurt and Coffee. Mom explains her understanding of true love and how important it is to know what brokenness feels like to help others heal.
Running a few errands. Catching up on business.
Taking my mom and Ana to Norfolk. Ana and I have a DEJA Wall show at the Granby Theater tonight with Strictly Bizzness. Like we did at MOCA back in February we're performing Pink Floyd's entire movie, The Wall, live. And the other band is doing a Prince tribute. Stress levels are high between the band as we sort out technical difficulties on stage. We're fortunate enough to do an entire run through for sound check.
Afterwards, with my mom and Ana, we walk next door to enjoy nutritious Rice Bowls and Orange Vodka Slushies at Field Guide.
Back next door at the venue. It's show time!
The whole set went smoothly and almost flawlessly. I felt the energy and I can witness the audience feeling the energy too.
"TEAR DOWN THE WALL!
TEAR DOWN THE WALL!
TEAR DOWN THE WALL!
TEAR DOWN THE WALL!"
After introducing everyone on stage John announces into the mic, "We should be tearing down walls not building them...in my opinion," which is a very appropriate thing to say in light of the current political situation and in reference to the symbolism and themes of the movie.
Then, they remove the chairs and open up the dance floor for Strictly Bizzness. The lead singer takes control of the microphone and manifests the spirit of the Artist Formerly Known As (Prince)...
Back home. Sharing PB&J Toast with Ana while we jump on the mini trampoline in the kitchen.
Irish Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maple Syrup, Raisins, and Kefir. Oolong Tea.
Meeting with DeeGee at the bank to open a secondary Music Makers account for all the funds I'll be accumulating as owner there.
Taking care of things at the house.
Banana. Orange.
Toasted PB&J. Potato Chips. Coffee.
Big day of teaching lessons at Music Makers. My mom comes in to meet with DeeGee and get the rundown of managing the front of the store.
Fuji Apple.
Back home.
Mom warms/cooks dinner: leftover Beans, Chicken, Quinoa, and Kale Slaw. Rice Crispie Treats.
I help Ana get set up at the music space to have her own practice time. Then, I'm off into the night on my bike.
Asking for wisdom in this venture into taking over Music Makers – making sure I stay true to my heart and what I was designed to do, which is making music, not just teaching music. I think about my life so far, the people I've known, the places I've been, and the memories I've created, especially around here. Am I on the right path? I must be if I'm succeeding. On a deeper and darker note, I find myself secretly judging others around me, even the ones closest to me. I judge myself all the time too but who am I to look down on other's decisions on how they want to live their lives? I just want to treat everyone with love, I really do. How can I achieve that? That's why I'm asking for wisdom.
Meanwhile, the after hours nightlife of the oceanfront is alive and ghostly. I almost drop a tear thinking about these deep things when I come to the end of the boardwalk at the northend. Tame Impala's album Currents and Tobacco (the music artist and not cigarettes) fuels my ride into the night.
Irish Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maple Syrup, Raisins, and Kefir. Yerba Mate Tea.
At the Rec shooting the basketball around.
Papaya.
Scrambled Eggs. Toast with Cream Cheese. Potato Chips with Avocado. Honey Green Tea.
Watching Precious Cargo (2016).
Organizing.
Got a DEJA gig on the boardwalk (the stage between Mahi Mah's and Chix). It's a beautiful sunny evening – sun is shining directly on our faces – the back patios are packed with people.
Fuji Apple.
Back home.
Brown Rice Quinoa Spaghetti with Tomato Sauce and a Salad.
With Ana in the car. I'm driving. We follow my great-uncle Gary in his car along with other family members and friends related to his side of the family (in waking life Gary is dead). It doesn't feel right that we're following them though. They're all headed to an old place where they used to hang out back in the day. There's a special white gate that stays locked and leads out onto a pier. Ana and I manage to make it through after some trouble. We walk out to the edge of the pier where everybody is. The waters are unstable – waves billow up causing the end of the pier to rise up and down. Ana and I are concerned. I guess the idea is to get in these tiny boats and ride over to the house. It seems like we're waiting forever to get situated. Now we're all wading in the water waist deep. You can kind of see underwater – the sand, rocks, and wood pallets buried at the bottom. A 16-year old girl that I've never met, probably a second or third cousin of mine, is standing near the shoreline – everyone still waist deep. I'm crammed up next to her because we're trying to stay close so we don't drown. Ana starts acting insecure about it.
...
Later on, we make it to the house. It's nighttime and this resembles 1435 except the people here treat it like a southern dive bar. On the walls are different pictures and paintings – a collection of kid's drawings of pyramids – Egyptian hieroglyphics spray painted in gold metallic over top of the drawings. Talking with the owner of the house and admiring the design. He's close to my age.
▬ ○ ☼ ○ ▬
In this dream I revisit the environment of my last dream. Sitting inside the nighttime party house. Across the room are my uncle Gary and his crew. I stay focused on my phone taking notes of all the things I want to remember. Meanwhile, a dude is drunk and past out next to me. I'm not even sure what I'm doing here.
▬ ○ ☼
Waking up officially at 12:07 p.m. The strangest thing about it is if I didn't take notes in my second dream I wouldn't have remembered all the details of the first dream. Even in dreamland I'm documenting.
Irish Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maple Syrup, Blueberries, and Kefir. Yerba Mate Tea.
Household chores. Organizing. Business.
Papaya.
Chic Pea Salad Sandwich with Tomato. Potato Chips with Avocado. Angelcots. Honey Green Tea.
Finishing Eye In The Sky (2016).
Errands. Groceries.
Practicing stuff at the music space.
Back home.
Cod Filet with Beans, Broccoli, Carrots, Cabbage, and Brown Rice.
Music studio business.
Back at the music space with Ana practicing songs and drum technique.
Watermelon.
Ana has been especially joyful and frisky lately. It's a delight to be around.
Irish Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maple Syrup, Blueberries, and Kefir. Yerba Mate Tea.
Errands.
Playing pick-up basketball at the Rec.
Grilled PB&J. Fuji Apple. Honey Green Tea.
Watching 10 Cloverfield Lane (2016).
At Music Makers. It being summertime it's common for students to not show up for lessons. I got two no-shows.
Filling up the water jugs at Whole Foods.
Vegetarian Chili Soup with Chicken, Brown Rice, and Bok Choy.
Taking care of my list of things to do before the ownership changeover at Music Makers – all these little things, these little details that have to be taken care of. It's amazing how swamped one can get.
Cinnamon Raisin Bagel with Butter. Orange Juice. Oolong Tea.
Talking with my dad for a bit out on the porch about his troubles and concerns with his wife's daughters being here. He's just ready to retire and focus on taking care of himself. It's hard for him to have to look after teenagers and be financially responsible for them. But his wife, Patty, is a good mother and hard-working.
Back on the road in route to Virginia Beach. Gotta make it back in time for lessons.
Snacking on Fruit and listening to a Duncan Trussell podcast. Even as a comedian he finds a way to inspire ideas in me – mostly about getting up and just doing things – when you have an idea, don't try to make it perfect first, just get out there and do it.
Back home after a nice 3-hour trip.
Scrambled Eggs. Toast with Non-Dairy Cream Cheese. Potato Chips. Honey Green Tea.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers.
Back home.
Taking care of business.
Vegan Pizza from Ynot and a Salad.
Watching 10 Cloverfield Lane (2016).
Researching. I've got a list of things to do before I take over the Music Makers business. Going through the list one by one.
Irish Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maple Syrup, Raisins, and Kefir. Oolong Tea.
Driving to Goldsboro last minute to see my dad for Father's Day. I don't own an iPod currently so I grab a few CD's. Been a while since I've listened to CD's. It's a nice quick 3-hour trip.
There, at my dad's house. His wife, Patty, has her other two daughters living here, Alexandra and Allison, my new step-sisters. They just moved here from Honduras a few months ago. It's a beautiful day in North Carolina. My dad cleared the woods area in the backyard – set up a hammock – dug a garden with blueberries, tomatoes, cucumbers, basil, etc.
Getting sweaty under the sun with the basketball – shooting around with Alexa and Allison – then kicking the soccer ball around. Meanwhile, my dad is grilling steaks, salmon, and veggie burgers on the back patio.
Quick phone conversation with my great-uncle JW on the phone.
When he asks me how I'm doing I explain that, "Life is going and going and it ain't stopping."
He tells me, "Well don't go so fast that life passes you by. You gotta enjoy it. I'm sure you understand that."
Sipping on Lime Corona's.
Rex and his wife, neighbors of my dad's, join us for a Father's Day meal. We all sit down on the patio and enjoy the food: Salmon, Steak, Corn on the Cob, Garlic Bread, and a Salad.
After a few obligatory songs on the guitar I corral everyone into the living room to watch the NBA Finals. With Alexa and Allison on the couch. My dad joins in on the excitement during the 4th quarter.
It was the perfect final game of the series – not a blowout but a close match. The determination of LeBron James and Kyrie Irving was unstoppable.
Later on, getting to know Alexa. She's very smart – loves books (especially Stephen King), wants to get a degree in psychology, and has a very healthy perspective on the world. We get deep into conversation about her life story, her ambitions, and the future of our generation.
Sleeping early at 2 a.m. in the guest room that I usually sleep in.
We have a big fun-filled schedule of music planned all day.
Irish Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maple Syrup, Raisins, and Kefir. Green Tea.
First up is the 31st Street stage, the big stage right in front of King Neptune. Zachary Jones and Jessica perform first at 10 a.m. Then, Ana and I get up to do our acoustic set. She performs a few of her own. Naturally, the majority of the songs are sea-themed. It's a good time. Despite my nose clogging up my throat opens up while singing out. Meanwhile, my mom and Myra are nearby. There's a beautiful wind whooshing around while we play. Little kids running around near the front with toy balls and dancing. The art show on the boardwalk is alive and thriving.
After our set we all hop in the wagon and head to The Alley on 19th Street where Three Ships is located. Logstradamus got moved from the beach to here. Ladada is supposed to perform but You're Jovian and Old Baby are up first. The bike cops show up and give us some trouble about the noise. Apparently, this secondary location wasn't approved in the permit so we're forced to move the fest to Back Bay. While here, Ana and I enjoy eats at Three Ships – a Grilled Cheese for me and an Iced Coffee.
Back at the house resetting. Taking a shower and getting a few things done.
At Back Bay we get everything in order upstairs in The Blind. We do our LADADA set first for Part 2 of Logstradamus.
Unfortunately, I have to dip out as soon as we're finished to drive over for another gig with DEJA. My mom and Ana follow me around on this all-day music adventure. We just step into one world after the other. First, it's the oceanfront scene, then the local arts and music scene with mostly 20 and 30-somethings, then the old head music scene (60's 70's generation). Here with DEJA at the RV Park off Birdneck. We got a 35-minute set to cover with the best of the best songs on our set list. Plowing through all the epic tribute songs like, "Bohemian Rhapsody", "Sail Away", "Tom Sawyer", and "Hocus Pocus".
Back home...finally. I performed in all three of the musical projects I'm involved with: solo, LADADA, and DEJA. I'm amazed at how much of a chameleon I can be transforming my musical talents to match my surroundings.
I joke around with Ana that I have to prove this day actually happened, "I've gotta have proof a year from now so I need all the pictures and videos."
Out on the sidewalk in Chanticleer (my neighborhood) I discover Britney Spears hanging out – she's dressed like an average business woman with light brown baggy slacks.
"What're you doing here?" I ask.
"I'm just trying to live my life," she replies.
I guess she decided to move here to Virginia Beach and be a normal person and not a celebrity. There's a little kid hanging around with us. She seems to take a liking to him. They jump around and dance – doing somersaults and all kinds of flips. I snap a few photos with my phone.
...
Later, back in the house in my bedroom. There's less stuff in here and I've got three or four desks. I sit down at my computer to type out my experiences. Britney walks in and sits on the other side of the bed. She's got a fat cat running around chasing random creatures flying in the room. It's understood that her and I are friends now. I guess she trusts me.
▬ ○ ☼
Waking up at noon. I've been sleeping in much later lately. Trying to recover from a sickness so it's necessary.
Steel Cut Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maple Syrup, Blueberries, and Kefir. Yerba Mate Tea.
Practicing on guitar. My voice is still not 100%. I hate it. But Ana helps me with her voice. Meanwhile, Elvis is running around like cats do swatting and pouncing at our legs.
Grilled PB&J. Plantain Chips. Honey Green Tea.
Errands. Talking with an associate at Chartway about upping my credit limit and about a business loan.
At Grumpy's for the DEJA gig.
Vegetable Chili with Chicken and Naan Bread.
My nose is out of control – I've got to keep a wad of tissues near my keyboards while I play. My head hurts from all the loud songs. I get through it as best I can.
Irish Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maple Syrup, Blueberries, and Kefir. Yerba Mate Tea.
There's an endless supply of phlegm in my throat.
Errands.
Grouper Filets. Toast with Non-Dairy Cream Cheese. Corn Tortilla Chips with Avocado and Tomato. Honey Green Tea.
Watching The Stepfather (2009).
Teaching lessons at Music Makers.
Minestrone Soup with Chic Peas and Rice.
At the WODU studios at ODU for a live Ladada performance. Shannon hosts the show with Ron, the producer. Tyler brought Pizza. Even though I already ate dinner I nibble on a few slices. My nose is like a geyser – I'm constantly sneezing and having to blow out the gunk. The show turns out real swell – a decent raw mix as if we were just practicing in the storage unit.
Back home.
Pineapple Juice and Tea,
I think I've sneezed at least 20 times in the past five minutes.
Steel Cut Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Maple Syrup, Blueberries, and Kefir. Yerba Mate Tea.
At the Rec shooting the basketball around.
Watermelon.
Scrambled Eggs. Toast with Non-Dairy Cream Cheese. Corn Tortilla Chips with Avocado and Tomato. Honey Green Tea.
Watching Gods of Egypt (2016).
Teaching lessons all day at Music Makers.
Meeting with Drew and DeeGee to discuss the logistics of transferring the ownership of Music Makers to me. All of this is happening by July 1st. It's a lot to work out. So much is happening.
Back home.
Eating leftovers: Lentils, Chicken Sausage, Kale, and Quinoa.
Bianca, Josiah, Bobby, and I pack up and head out to Bedford Ave and walk around in search of some grub. A little café called BeeHive Oven catches our eye.
I choose the Boot Strap Breakfast: Scrambled Eggs, Grits, Bacon, Biscuit and Jam, and Orange Juice.
As we walk back to the van I ponder about my weekend here. Feeling unfulfilled. But not unfulfilled about the music I perform with my boys. I love traveling, touring, playing in bands, and being in new places. I'm just scared about taking over Music Makers back home. I still entertain the idea of just up and moving somewhere else. Not teaching. Just writing music.
We hit the road, starting off on The BQE, I take the wheel and bear the traffic.
Stopping at an exit off the New Jersey Turnpike. I need something cold and fresh, maybe coffee, but not just water. This damn place is crowded with Anybody Americans. Unless I want a sugary drink from the convenience store then Starbucks it is. The wait line is long but I grab my Iced Coffee black and make it back to the van.
Josiah has a vision of eating a hotdog. And thus we find a hole-in-the-wall place called The Doghouse. I snack on Potato Chips with an Avocado and Peanuts instead of hotdogs.
Bobby takes the wheel and leads us home along the Eastern Shore.
Entertaining ourselves with the new release of our friend's project Reptile Tile. It has a whopping total of 134 tracks, which is a ridiculous amount of songs for one album.
Finally arriving home some time after midnight. Settling into my hot and steamy home (A/C never works).
Chamomile Tea. Ana slips into my bed just before 3 a.m. When I join our embrace is warm and sexual feelings are unavoidable.
Waking up around noon on a futon in a brightly lit bedroom in New York.
Green Tea.
Across the street from the apartment I grab an Everything Bagel with Cream Cheese and fresh squeezed Orange Juice.
Ladada has a rooftop show at Our Wicked Lady, a venue off Morgan Ave – a part of the Northside Festival happening in Brooklyn, which is supposed to be like a mini version of SXSW.
Before the show starts we meet up with Caitlin Pasko, Emily Hill, and two of Caitlin's friends at Esme, a café in Greenpoint. It's been years since I've seen Caitlin and Emily. Sipping on an Iced Coffee.
Kofi makes it out too. He accompanies me to a bodega around the corner for a Tuna Salad Wrap.
Back on the rooftop everything's hitting off. Alex, our old friend from The House Floor, a band Tokyo used to play shows with in Blacksburg is here – another face we haven't see in many years. The first band greets us with an atmospheric pop rock sound. Sipping on iced alcoholic beverages. Then, it's Ladada's turn. I affix the brown longhaired wig to my head and start sweating immediately. Despite fumbling through a few bad notes on the bass it turns out to be a good performance with a good response from the crowd.
The rest of the night consists of venue and bar crawling. Muchmore's. Baby's All Right.
At some point we grab Pizza from a place called Best Pizza. In my opinion it is the "best" pizza I've had in New York but others will disagree.
Ending up at a bar called The Grand with everyone minus a few people. Brock's friend is bartending. I have one of those moments whenever I go out of town where I question everything I'm doing in my life. Maybe I should move? Do I really want to teach music the rest of my life? Do I really want to own Music Makers and be a small business owner? Do I really want to settle down in Virginia Beach? Meanwhile, the drinks are slinging around. It's not as dark lit as a bar should be in here. Brock is spitting at us with compliments and his insight into Ladada and our performance. He pays attention to all the details and vibes. That's what I love about him.
We make it back to the apartment. And hilarity ensues. Entertaining ourselves with hat tricks, coin tricks, and acrobatics including a challenge where you have to bend down on one leg and grab a brown paper bag with your mouth, a feat Brock is especially talented at doing. I take up the challenge and successfully grab the bag a few times. Meanwhile, this French Canadian girl is dancing and kicking her legs out in a bicycle motion and saying strange things. She's an artist and good friend of Brock's. I take a few hits of weed but I keep hanging on the fence between high and not high. My body's had an intake of almost everything and I don't think it knows what to feel. High? Drunk? Buzzed? Nothing? Nothing I guess. I'm all socialized out. I want no further stimulation.
Crashing on the futon in the bedroom late after 5 a.m.
