This is an open and unfiltered diary-style journal
on the life of James Robert Smith.
This blog will contain sometimes graphic experiences (both beautiful and ugly),
sometimes stark insight, and all honest and factual documentation of dreams, diet, activity, and thoughts.
Taking our cat, Elvis, to the vet – always a terrible and stressful experience that can only lead to scratches on our arms and hands to which I become susceptible to this day. The lady vet who calls herself a cat whisperer of sorts was disappointed she couldn’t get through to Elvis. But she assures us this is very common for cats going to the vet.
Ana and I check out May’s Parlor for some pastries to bring home.
Fruit Danish. Scrambled Eggs. Toast with Vegan Cream Cheese. Peach. Coffee.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers.
Back home. Mom makes dinner: Cabbage and Potatoes with Vegan Dogs and String Beans.
Catching up on business.
At the studio doing the accounting for the month.
Chilling with Ana for a little while talking about the pursuit of music. Meanwhile, Elvis chills in the sink.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Blueberries, Maple Syrup, and Almond Milk. Coffee.
Coaching two bands for MMLIVE.
Fruit.
Back home.
Scrambled Eggs. Pandesal (Filipino Bread Rolls). Salt n Vinegar Chips with Avocado.
Napping.
At the studio working on my guitar setup skills. Got some new tools to measure action across a bass. Then practicing some songs.
Back home. Cooking dinner: Yellow Lentil Brown Rice Noodles with homemade Tomato Sauce and Naan Bread.
Watching Extinction (2018).
Picking up Ana from work.
Practicing drums at the studio. We started learning a challenging song for me to do on drums, “Barracuda” by Heart. Those ghost notes on the snare and the double kick pattern is killing me but that’s why I chose to play drums in one of the bands.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Blueberries, Maple Syrup, and Almond Milk. Irish Breakfast Tea.
Teaching afternoon lessons at Music Makers.
Lunch: Peas, Okra, Tomatoes, Potatoes, and Bread.
Watching an episode of Dark Tourist (2018).
Bringing the whole house to Toast for the Lava MiniFest where I’ll be performing in Ladada alongside The Lazy Dangers, Berries, Snake Mountain Revival, and other fantastic local/regional acts. It’s great to be around all my friends and friends of friends – mingling and drinking top notch brews. Every band brings their own brand of music and flair.
Sharing dinner with mom and Ana: Vegan Chili with Kale and Toast.
Back home. Settling down in Ana’s room. We make love once again.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Blueberries, Maple Syrup, and Almond Milk. Irish Breakfast Tea.
Catching up on business and running errands.
Teaching one lesson to Jolin off Rosemont. She finally completed Minuet in G today to almost 100% perfection with a few rhythm hiccups here and there. Very proud of her accomplishment.
At the Great Neck Rec shooting around the basketball – playing 1-on-1.
Thoughts in the car as I drive home thinking about all the things I need to do...
“A looming sense of responsibility to be responsible all the time.”
“I don’t wanna grow up! I wanna grow outward like a spiral that twists and turns and learns!”
Orange Honey Dew Melon.
Ana and I declare tonight “date night”. She had a nice afternoon with her auntie Nellie and now it’s time for her and I to get out of the house. We head to Gringo’s Taqueria on the south end at the beach – Shadowlawn territory. This is one of my favorite local spots – a cramped but colorful and vibrant taco joint. Running into a former student’s parents – that’s always cool. Ordering Mojitos from the bar guy in the back and Fish Tacos with Chips n’ Salsa. You can’t beat this guac and salsa.
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Afterwards, both a bit tipsy from the drinks, I drive onward past our neighborhood.
“Where are we going?” she asks looking puzzled.
“I’m not sure,” I say honestly.
I take a turn down Potters Road where it borders the military base and the shooting range. Parking on the gravel side of the road where “The Ruins” used to be (back in the day friends of mine and I used to explore the rubble and the lake nearby). Its pitch black out except for the light signals on the jet runway and the occasional lightning in the distance. The mosquitoes make their way through the windows. We decide to travel further down the road. Passing Mermaids and turning on Dead Man’s Curve where it changes into S First Colonial. Up the way finding a cozy safe little nook on New York Avenue parked between two bushes and trees – the car facing Oceana, the main road. I joke about how this is something I would’ve done as a teenager, looking for a make out spot. We keep the windows shut and pleasure each other while the flashing headlights from cars zoom by unaware of the heated moment happening in this purple wagon.
Back home. Chilling in Ana’s room. Will makes his way in. We play around on Ana’s Yamaha synthesizer covering 90’s dance tunes like “Be My Lover” and “Pump Up the Jam”. Will doesn’t ever play music but I’m impressed with his ability to learn fast.
Steel Cut Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Strawberries, Maple Syrup, and Almond Milk. English Breakfast Tea.
Teaching a few afternoon lessons. Emily, one of my piano students, said she stayed up watching every season of The Office last night. So I thought it appropriate to learn the theme song.
Scrambled Eggs. Potatoes. Toast with Butter and Jam. Coffee.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers. Another productive day of instruction.
Back home. Throwing together dinner with mom: Fried Rice/Quinoa with Beans, Zucchini, Squash, and leftover Tofu.
Watching Menace II Society (1993).
Cinnamon Rolls.
Ladada rehearsal with Bobby, Josiah, and Jonnie. Preparing our set for the big Lava show this Saturday.
Toast with Vegan Cream Cheese. Salt n Vinegar Chips with Avocado. Coffee.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers. Today is one of those days where I feel on point as a teacher – each lesson has its own accomplishments and breakthroughs – I’m dispensing valuable information and instruction in the tenfold.
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Banana.
Back home. Making dinner with mom: Brown Rice Quinoa Spaghetti with Onions, Peppers, Mushrooms, and Tomatoes. Naan Bread.
Catching up on chores.
Sharing Gelato Cones with Ana.
Running a few night errands.
At the studio playing piano attempting Clair De Lune and tweaking the vocoder sounds on my keyboard.
Plums.
Sleep 3:30 a.m. or about that at least until Ana joins me in bed.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Strawberries, Maple Syrup, and Almond Milk. English Breakfast Tea.
Going on a running-errands field trip with Ana and mom. Paying $5 to the Treasurer’s Office for a pet license – picking up new water jugs at The Water Hole where the owner sings to us songs he wrote back in the 80’s – picking up stuff at Wal-Mart and Trader Joe’s.
Scrambled Eggs. Toast with Butter and Jam. Salt n Vinegar Chips with Avocado. Coffee.
Watching Son of a Gun (2014).
Teaching lessons at Music Makers.
Getting off work kind of early. At the Great Neck Rec trying a few games of basketball getting my exercise on.
Back home. Somehow our slow cooking beans in the crock pot got unplugged so mom is trying fast cook them on the stove. Sharing meals at the table: Butter Beans, Quinoa, Cauliflower, Brussel Sprouts, and Kale.
Teaching an online lesson to Katelyn.
Enjoying some of Ana’s delicious Cinnamon Rolls she made from scratch.
At the studio researching and experimenting the proper way to do a full set up of an electric bass.
Waking up at 11 a.m. There’s Elvis vying for affection at my bedside like he usually does every morning – he wants breakfast.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Strawberries, Maple Syrup, and Almond Milk. Irish Breakfast Tea.
At the Great Neck Rec with Ana shooting some basketball around. It’s been exactly 4 weeks since my wrist injury and it’s improved dramatically. I can form a shot with the ball without any pain.
Scrambled Eggs. Toast with Vegan Cream Cheese. Potatoes. Coffee.
Watching a documentary on Albert Einstein.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers.
Off work kind of early. I head to Ming’s Chinese Food for dinner by myself cause it’s close to the rehearsal spot. I just love the aesthetic of this building and business plaza. The colorful neon lights flicker in the windows. The little daughter of the Chinese family sits around on the booths watching things on her iPad. I order Fried Tofu with Mixed Vegetables and Garlic Sauce – watching the rest of this Einstein doc while I eat. Meanwhile, it starts to rain very lightly.
ELO rehearsal again.
Gelato Cone.
Chilling in Ana’s room. We get into some deep discussions about the progression of music since the 60’s and the theory of relativity. It gets personal on Ana’s end and I don’t know why. It always feels like she hears things through a filter of misperceived offense. Sometimes I sound condescending but it’s unintentional. I just want to dispense and share information as much as I can. Meanwhile, Elvis roams about from the bathroom sink to the scratching post.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Strawberries, Maple Syrup, and Kefir. Coffee.
Time for MMLIVE rehearsals. Drew and I work these two bands hard – they get a serious musical education of rhythm and teamwork.
Toasted PB&J. Angelcots and Black Velvet Apricots.
Hanging out with mom – sharing a Watermelon Smoothie from Tropical Smoothie down the street from the rehearsal spot.
At 5 p.m. I’ve got ELO rehearsal at the Right On space, which is actually just across the way. It’s been at least a year since the last ELO gig – we’ve got two coming up. Haven’t seen Jimmy, Kevin, Bri, or Nigel in a long time. We dust off the cobwebs and it’s really not so bad. All that rehearsing we did in the past served us well.
Back home. Mom makes dinner: Leftover Black Beans, Kale, Carrots, Onions, and Quinoa.
Sipping on a Beer.
Power napping.
Late night errand to Target for house essentials.
Sharing Chocolate Chip Cookies Dough Gelato Cones with mom.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Blueberries, Maple Syrup, and Almond Milk. Irish Breakfast Tea.
At Music Makers loading up the car with music gear using every last square inch.
Teaching afternoon lessons.
Immediately after, mom and I drive out to Norfolk with Ana in her car caravanning.
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Two Hard-Boiled Eggs. Orange Honeydew and Apricots. Banana.
At Smartmouth Brewery. Ana and I are scheduled to perform as Musicplayer and Community Witch. My aunt Pansy and her husband Peter show up along with other friends and the regular Smartmouth crowd. It takes a lot of time to set up and break down all the music gear but that comes with the package. It starts off pretty and smooth, then we make it rock, then we bring down the house with the hits. No show is note for note perfect but the camaraderie with the crowd is what makes it all worth the while. Afterwards, Ana and mom bring over a delicious Margherita Pizza from the bake house down the street.
After unloading gear here and there and everywhere I make it home. Enjoying snacks with the family and settling down.
Sitting in my computer chair organizing video clips from the day and feeling trapped in the responsibility I’ve placed on myself to keep my life archived in some fashion.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Blueberries, Maple Syrup, and Almond Milk. Irish Breakfast Tea.
Ana bought a banjo out of haste and discovered it’s an antique one. It looks amazing but needs work. Earlier, she went to the bakery to see about getting a part time job as a baker but apparently they already hired someone. I hate that she is prone to feeling embarrassed after things not working out.
Vacuuming my room and the upstairs hallway and stairs! What a chore! We’ve been putting down all this diatomaceous earth on the carpets to kill any fleas. It seems to be working. I’ve been there done that.
PB&J on the go with Coconut Water.
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Meeting a guy on OfferUp to buy a keyboard.
Teaching an in-home lesson to Jolin.
Then, at the studio teaching a one-off drum lesson to Caroline. Afterwards, Stacie Bollmann meets up here to discuss potentially teaching voice lessons. Back in the Tokyo band days we used to play shows with her in Rekapse.
At the Great Neck Rec shooting some basketball around – still giving my left wrist a test cause it hasn’t 100% healed yet. Meanwhile, talking with Aaron who’s working the front desk.
Getting groceries at Whole Foods.
Locking myself in the kitchen prepping all kinds of stuff. Mom isn’t here to help tonight.
Vegan Dogs with Potatoes, Onions, and Slaw.
At the studio packing up all the gear for tomorrow’s show.
Bowl of Blueberry Oat Flakes with Banana, Strawberries, and Almond Milk. English Breakfast Tea.
Teaching a few afternoon lessons.
Scrambled Eggs. Dinner Rolls with Butter and Jam. Coffee.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers.
Back home. Fixing dinner: Black Beans with Onions, Tomatoes, Broccoli, Carrots, and Brown Rice.
Watching The Discovery (2017).
At the studio working on stuff. Ana comes later to practice songs with me. She’s got this terrible cold sore on her tongue that makes it difficult to talk and such. I feel bad.
Chamomile Tea. Watermelon.
I decided not to do a “day in the life of” video today.
Waking up at 11 a.m. Throughout the morning Elvis is vying for affection trying to wake us up for breakfast.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Blueberries, Maple Syrup, and Kefir. Irish Breakfast Tea.
Out and about in search for more keyboards/pianos on OfferUp. Some are a disappointment and some are almost winners.
Scrambled Eggs. Dinner Rolls with Butter and Jam. Potato Chips. Coffee.
Watching The Legacy of a Whitetail Deer Hunter (2018).
Teaching lessons at Music Makers. It’s a crazy busy day at the studio. Whenever all four doors open in between lessons it’s like mayhem.
Back home. Mom makes dinner: Cabbage, Potatoes, Shishito Peppers, and Peas.
As I’m about to catch myself up on missed text messages for the day I check to see 63 notifications all pointing to the DEJA thread. They talk so much on that thing.
Stuck inside a church building at night. There’s a creature of some kind with abnormal physical abilities with hostile intentions. I’m accompanied by an Asian lady whom I don’t know. The beast starts coming after us. The hallways are pitch black – I have to constantly use the light on my iPhone to shine the way. Also, for some reason, the light repels any hostile beings. It gets stressful having to swing the phone back and forth. It doesn’t matter what we do cause the beast continuously follows me and finds me without much effort. I try jumping out the window and grab onto a tree branch. Discovering that this church building is atop a very tall and steep cliff. We’re in the middle of a forest. The bottom is nowhere to be found. I consider jumping to escape the dream but I can’t for some reason. At one point I manage to tense myself awake.
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Even after waking up and going back to sleep I can’t seem to shake off this dream scenario – I keep experiencing different versions of it. And thus I force myself to get up out of bed and drain off a leak in the bathroom.
▬☼
Waking up at 10:45 a.m.
Riding out to the Ocean Lakes area to buy a keyboard from a guy on OfferUp. It just happens to be my old stomping grounds. I drive around the old block on Goodard Drive where I mostly grew up. An older lady is tending to some flowers on what used to be my front porch. Down the street checking out a farmer’s market where they sell local produce. I buy up almost the whole store but only spend about $40.
Scrambled Eggs. Toast with Butter and Jam. Potato Chips. Coffee.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers.
Immediately after I head out to the north end at the beach to meet someone to buy another piano. Little do I know it’s the parent of a former student of mine, The Davids. We’re both surprised to see one another. The piano they’re selling to me is in great condition, an upright digital Roland.
Back home. Enjoying dinner: Black Beans with Celery, Onions, Kale, Carrots, and Brown Rice.
Sharing Gelato Cones with Ana and mom.
Ana and hang out at the studio practicing songs and such.
Sharing Watermelon.
Sleeping with Ana in her room tonight at 3:30 a.m.
Ana made us homemade Blueberry Waffles with Coffee. She’s the best.
Catching up on my to-do list.
Bagel with Vegan Cream Cheese. Green Tea. Popped Chips. Banana.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers.
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Piano lessons with Tia are always a blast. In between picking out chords for a song and discussing how she doesn’t like to socialize with her own age group we break out into a Michael Jackson sounding anthem, “I ain’t got no time for foolishness!”
Mom and I grab Chinese food from Panda Express for something different.
Sipping on a beer and watching Tramps (2016).
Shopping on OfferUp for used keyboards.
At the studio re-stringing a guitar for a customer. Ana drops by and helps me rearrange the pictures on the wall.
MMLIVE rehearsals for the two bands. Drew is sitting this day out because of some serious physical pain they were experiencing. So it’s up to me to keep all this together. It’s a little stressful but I’d say it was a productive day.
Catching up on stuff, in my head and outside of it.
While running errands, at Whole Foods and Kroger, I experience an oncoming anxiety being around the crowded Sunday grocery rush. Internally, I have an attitude of rudeness that I wish wasn’t there. I find my inner voice reacting negatively to everyone around me. The ebb and flow of my life feels rushed – constantly on the move – forever on a mission to scratch off one more thing on my to-do list. When does it ever stop? I realize I own a business but I don’t have kids and I don’t have a house. I can’t imagine what happens after those two things take form. Overall, I have a problem with patience especially lately. I need to slow down. Sometimes I just want to stop everything I’m doing and leave – head right out of town somewhere far away.
One thing that does give me relief and escape is these Black Velvet Apricots. I offer one to mom and tell her, “These taste like heaven.”
Making dinner: Brown Rice Quinoa Spaghetti Noodles with homemade Tomato Sauce, Mushrooms, Peppers, Onions, Parmesan, and Bread, Sharing plates at the table with just mom and I.
Practicing and tweaking the performance rig at the studio.
Gelato Cone.
Ana and I ride bikes to the oceanfront to burn off some calories and enjoy each other’s company.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Strawberries, Maple Syrup, and Kefir. Irish Breakfast Tea.
Teaching a full afternoon of lessons from 12:30 to 4 p.m.
Tuna Salad Sandwiches with Tomato. Corn Tortilla Chips with Avocado and Tomato. Coffee. Peaches.
Watching How It Ends (2018).
Catching up on business.
Power napping with Elvis in Ana’s room.
Practicing drums at the studio.
Quick leftover Pizza for dinner.
DEJA’s got a gig at South Beach Grill, otherwise known as The Wrinkle Room. Drew has a good connect with the owner so we play there often. It’s a full house of fans with DEJA shirts and drunk frat boys shouting out every word to the Led Zeppelin tunes but continuing to request Greta Van Fleet.
Back home after packing up and unloading the gear.
Ana and I hang out at the studio practicing some of her songs where she plays guitar and sings and I play drums. It’s been a while since we’ve done these songs but I have confidence in us. She experiences an emotional breakdown in the middle of an Angel Olsen song because of the frustration not just from memorizing lyrics but from lack of desire.
Scrambled Eggs. Everything Bagel with Vegan Cream Cheese. Salt n Vinegar Chips with Avocado. Coffee.
Watching How It Ends (2018).
Teaching a small block of lessons at Music Makers.
At the Great Neck Rec exercising and testing the mobility of my wrist shooting the basketball around. There’s definitely progress in the healing.
Back home. Making dinner: Vegetable Fried Rice with Snow Peas, Carrots, and English Peas.
Catching up on stuff.
At the studio practicing guitar – revamping old melodies.
Making homemade Pizzas with Mozzarella, Peppers, Mushrooms, Tomatoes, and Sauce.
Enjoying dinner at the table with mom and Ana.
“Let’s hope I survive this cruel world,” Ana says as she starts off to Target and a bike ride.
Angelcots and Plums.
Ladada rehearsal with Josiah, Bobby, and Jonnie. It’s been a few weeks since we’ve gotten together to play music. Josiah was being enlightened in Japan and becoming engaged. He regales us on all the epiphanies he had there and interesting Japanese words he learned.
Ana and I link up in Norfolk with Elliott, Michelle, Doug, and Tyler to enjoy a fun-filled day at Busch Gardens. Busch Fest 98’ we jokingly call it. Kenny connects with us later in the day.
It’s been a few years since we were here last, Ana and I. I recall coaxing her into riding roller coasters at all; we think it was her first time. And Apollo’s Chariot might’ve been her debut coaster. In traditional form we start out in Italy to ride the big purple made famous by Fabio. Tempesto, built right next to it, is the newest roller coaster. Verbolten, an overall favorite. Aplengeist, a personal favorite and Ana’s favorite. Invader, a wooden throwback. Griffon, the one with the steepest drop and the one Ana refused to ride.
Sprinkle in a few of the classics like the swings, bumper cars, and carousel-like rides. It’s a Tuesday and the skies are clear. With sunscreen lathered all over our mostly pale bodies we burn walking calories all over the park.
Drinking some 40 cent beers at the Festhaus in celebration of 40 years of the Lochness Monster, which we didn’t end up riding somehow. Roasted Chicken with German Potatoes and Cabbage.
The girlfriend and I enjoy Cannolis and Funnel Cake as our sweet treat for the day.
I couldn’t ask for a cooler bunch of friends to chill with on a day like this.
Finally back home after long day. Kale, Tomatoes, and Coconut Water for the last meal.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Strawberries, Maple Syrup, and Kefir. Irish Breakfast Tea.
Catching up on business.
Scrambled Eggs. Toast with Vegan Cream Cheese. Potato Chips. Coffee.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers.
Meeting up with Rich in front of the Food Lion off Dam Neck and General Booth, or formerly known, as cause it’s vacated. He finishes up selling a lawnmower to somebody off Craigslist. I give him a little money for using his sweet ride yesterday at the video shoot. We talk for a while about music gear and whatever.
Back home. Mom and I make dinner. Ana already prepared Falafels. We fix up Zucchini, Carrots, Quinoa, and a Tahini Dressing to go with it.
After Ana gets home we present the Chocolate Cake she baked for Will’s birthday. We all gather downstairs at the table and offer the mandatory birthday song. He almost forgot how old he was. Since we don’t have the actual candle numbers to represent his 31 years we turn candles into roman numerals.
At 3:45 a.m. Ana and I drift off to sleep preparing our bodies for the big fun day ahead of us.
Steel Cut Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Strawberries, Maple Syrup, and Almond Milk. English Breakfast Tea.
Two MMLIVE rehearsals today with Drew helping coach. It’s a lively and productive double band session.
Right before starting a take of a song Drew will add things like, “I need effort, concentration, and heart!”
Scrambled Eggs. Toast with Butter and Jam. Zucchini Frittatas. Iced Coffee.
Meeting Rich at his trailer in Derby Run. We’ve commissioned him to use his 1975 Plymouth Scamp in a getaway scene for the Ladada music video shoot. He drives us down past the court houses on the two lane road when farmhouses come into view. In the passenger seat soaking it all in. Rich is a longtime friend from back in the day during my punk rock phase. He’s blasting a local punk band from the 90’s using a CD player hooked up to computer speakers. A colorful picture of Tori Amos and a sunset painted on the glove box. The engine roars as I breathe in the fuel fumes from the old robust engine.
I follow the dropped pin in Google Maps and we meet up with Josiah, Jonnie, Bobby, Felix, and a makeup artist near some corner past the Virginia Beach city line on Fentress Airfield Road. Felix directs all the shots as we act out scenes involving fake paper $100 bills flying out the windows, blood, and a drone. Definitely the weirdest thing I’ve done in this band. But what a great time we have.
Back home.
Warming up some leftover Spaghetti and Naan Bread with a Salad for dinner.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Strawberries, Maple Syrup, and Almond Milk. Irish Breakfast Tea.
Teaching afternoon lessons at Music Makers.
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Mom and I meet with Addy, a prospective violin/piano student.
Grilled PB&J. Plantain Chips. Iced Coffee.
Catching up on business.
Chillin’ with Ana in her room. Elvis lounges at the top of his cat tower while we make love.
Setting up some stuff at the rehearsal spot then heading over to Chesapeake Square mall for a DEJA gig at Big Woody’s. The night air is beautiful and refreshingly cool. This place is hit or miss with crowd interaction but overall we’re on point with the music especially after being all practiced up from the shows earlier this week.
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During the longer than usual break between sets I sit at the edge of the bar enjoying a Modelo with Tuna Tacos and Fries – watching a boxing match on TV and overhearing all the bar tender chatter.
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During the second set surprise songs get called out by John – that’s what makes DEJA shows unpredictable and fun. Drew always amazes me when it comes time for the drum solo.
Teaching an in-home piano lesson to Jolin. There’re storm clouds just outside the garage door where I’m teaching her. We hear thunder sporadically. I explain to Jolin that it’s thunder but she corrects me and says it’s the clouds playing drums.
Thrifting.
Enjoying two Cannolis from the Plaza Bakery.
Working out at the Great Neck Rec. Attempting to shoot around the basketball but my wrist hasn’t completely healed so I need to cool it off.
Back home. Making dinner: Brown Rice Quinoa Spaghetti with Tomatoes, Green Peppers, Red Onions, Kale, and French Bread.
At the studio restringing guitars.
Ana meets me here to for us to practice our songs.
While settling down in my room I hear a loud cry of pain from Ana in the other room. Of course, Elvis accidentally dug his claws into her arm when leaving her lap. This is a constant problem that can only be solved by being careful and clipping his nails, which is a dreaded process in and of its own.
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