This is an open and unfiltered diary-style journal
on the life of James Robert Smith.
This blog will contain sometimes graphic experiences (both beautiful and ugly),
sometimes stark insight, and all honest and factual documentation of dreams, diet, activity, and thoughts.
Dad and I get some brunch at Simple Eats off Shore Drive.
Eating some French Toast with Eggs, Bacon, and Three Ships Coffee. My dad
orders the Biscuits and Gravy. It’s nice spending time with him just the two of
us. I know he’s sad about my mom’s condition. They were able to have a nice
personal talk earlier this morning.
I’ve got the whole day off with no obligations of any kind
so I spend it wisely catching up on business, emails, and whatever else I want
to get done at the computer.
Eating some kind of Macaroni Salad from the fridge.
Chores and errands.
Kale and Carrots.
Ana and I drive out to Norfolk for The Lazy Dangers EP
Release show at Charlie’s. A lot of friends that I haven’t seen in a while are
here. Janks, Static Collector, and Elliott’s solo version of his band, Obscure
Son, performs. There’s bubbles, candy, a piñata, and Jerry Springer footage.
It’s a grand ole time with friends and dancing.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Blueberries, Maple Syrup, and Almond
Milk. English Breakfast Tea.
Basketball at the Rec. They got us running only one court
today cause of Thanksgiving break to leave the other side open for the kids.
Dad is in town visiting at the house with mom and me while I
eat lunch: Eggs, Biscuits with Butter and Jam, Sweet Potatoes, and Coffee.
At Elevation 27 getting ready for the big ELO show tonight
(A New World Record). There’s been a lot of buzz over this show tonight. We get
the advantage of tapping into the Thanksgiving crowd when all the people are
home from elsewhere and are mostly off work. It’s such a huge production but we
basically have our system down. Sound check goes smoothly cause we’re all able
to use our devices for monitors, which makes it easier when adjusting levels in
our ears throughout the night.
Hanging backstage and mingling around the venue. Eating a
Tuna Steak with Potato Latkes and Coleslaw. Tristan Stewart, Bobby, Ana, and my
dad are here.
The venue fills out well with all the ELO fans, mostly the
older generation totally stoked to see the music from the 70’s. But there are
definitely a few millennials out there too. I’m proud of our performance.
There’s always a few flubs here and there, mainly on “Do Ya”. Something
happened in the arrangement of the first chorus that almost got us out of sync
with the tracks but luckily we managed to get back on it. I felt good about all
my keyboard parts.
Afterwards, hearing all kinds of compliments from friends
and strangers.
After transporting all the gear back to the studio I make it
home to enjoy some pie and conversation with Ana. I visit with mom in her room.
She wasn’t well enough to be in a loud and energetic place like tonight. We
catch up on things. She talks about seeing my dad earlier today.
“He was the love of my
life. Always has been. We had a good marriage. We just made mistakes.”
I enjoy hearing about the relationship between my mom and
dad. Even though I grew up in a divorced family both my parents made great
efforts to make sure I was raised right.
Granola Cereal with Almond Milk and Banana. English
Breakfast Tea.
Ana and I take care of Thanksgiving preparations. Lately,
since the radiation has been over, mom has been so lethargic and without
energy. There’s not much she can do. Even though it’s quite a process we’re
able to get her in the car so she can come with us to Norfolk.
At one of Ana’s aunt’s house. We brought biscuits from Three
Ships – pies and rolls from Plaza Bakery. I remember this house from a few
years back. The spread on the table is getting crammed from all the food
brought in. Most of Ana’s family is here. Before we eat Auntie Marley
encourages everyone to share things they are grateful for in 2019. We go around
the room.
Mom is able to speak quietly and hoarsely explaining, “I’m coming
through this year cancer free and I’m believing God for that. I think the
roughest time is always at the end of the journey. And it’s really been rough
but I’m believing that I’m a survivor.”
I fill up a plate of anything and everything.
At some point we gather around with guitars, violins, and
keyboards singing songs. Miggy, Ana’s brother, sort of takes the lead on vocals
– he’s got a great voice full of character and soul.
Back home. With Ana and mom in the living room cuddling up
on the couch watching Toy Story 4
(2019). Eating leftover Black Beans with Rice and Spinach. So impressed with
how they’re able to make a great Toy Story movie every time.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Blueberries, Maple Syrup, and Almond
Milk. English Breakfast Tea.
Basketball at the Rec.
Scrambled Eggs. Sweet Potatoes. Bagel with Butter and Jam.
Spinach. Coffee.
Watching Gemini Man
(2019).
Teaching lessons at Music Makers. It’s a low key day cause
of Thanksgiving Eve.
Back home. Warming up leftovers for dinner: Black Beans,
Rice, Broccoli, and Onions.
Later on, being a kitchen witch – washing dishes – prepping
a turmeric and ginger concentrate. Ana comes home and makes a chocolate silk
pie for tomorrow.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Blueberries, Maple Syrup, and Almond
Milk. Irish Breakfast Tea.
Catching up on scheduling and business.
Running errands – ordering rolls from Plaza Bakery and
picking up groceries from Whole Foods.
Egg Sandwich with Sweet Potato and Potato Chips. Coffee.
Raspberries.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers.
Back home. Making dinner with Ana: Black Bean Tacos (cause
it’s Taco Tuesday) with Cabbage, Guacamole, and Corn Tortilla Chips. Sharing
Cannolis afterwards.
Hanging with Ana and the cat talking band drama.
At the studio restringing a guitar and hanging new band
photos.
Sleep next to Ana after 3 a.m. – making a little fire into
the night.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Strawberries, Maple Syrup, and Almond
Milk. English Breakfast Tea.
Catching up on business and scheduling.
Chores.
Scrambled Eggs. Bagel with Jam. Potato Chips. Spinach.
Coffee.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers.
Baking some frozen Chicken Pot Pies for dinner. Mom and I
sit at the table. She’s still struggling with eating and overall feeling like
shit. I feel bad cause there’s only so much I can do. We’re hoping that soon
enough she’ll start getting over this radiation.
Finishing It Chapter
Two (2019).
Chores.
Chilling with Ana and the cat. Elvis always gets a wild hair
when I enter the room. Ana teaches me how to properly caress her leg.
Waking up late around 12:30 p.m. Definitely needed the extra
sleep to let my body heal.
Even though we originally wanted to make waffles, instead
Ana and I pick up some Biscuits, pastries, and Coffee at Three Ships.
Catching up on business.
Running errands – getting groceries.
Egg Sandwich with Sweet Potato and Spinach. Potato Chips.
Black Tea.
Having an early evening ELO rehearsal in preparation for our
Black Friday show.
Making dinner: Tuna Steak with Broccoli, Onions, and
leftover Rice/Quinoa.
Watching It Chapter
Two (2019).
Cannoli.
There’s still a squeak happening in the dryer. I finally
figured out that it just needs lubricant! Duh! I take it apart, something I’ve
done many times I could do it in my sleep. Add on some lube to the bearings and
idler pulley and voila! No Squeak.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Strawberries, Maple Syrup, and Almond
Milk. Irish Breakfast Tea.
At Music Makers teaching afternoon lessons. Mom is here but
still not feeling so great. The radiation therapy has done a number to her body
– she still feels sick and lethargic.
Scrambled Eggs. Sourdough Toast with Butter and Jam. Salt n
Vinegar Chips. Coffee.
Watching Executive
Decision (1996).
Packing up the vehicles and loading up for the show tonight.
At Pizza Chapel early to set up in our little corner for the
Musicplayer gig. I’m sneezing and having to blow my nose constantly – the
soreness in my throat has gone and moved to the sinuses but I’m still able to
sing. Our set is an interesting one tonight. At some point the Kuzniewski’s pop
in to visit. Anna, one of the daughters that I teach, guest sings on “Can’t
Help Falling in Love With You” and “Stay”. A couple of loud bar patrons have a
ball watching us and consistently sing out of key for all the songs. At times
it’s hard to hear our own voices but hey, we’re here for them I suppose. It’s a
good time. A random guy named Carlos takes the guitar and we do a jam. Tristan
appears towards the end. One girl talking to Ana after the show says she heard
the music from outside smoking a cigarette and it drew her in. Originally, she
was in some sort of bad mood but we uplifted it. It’s nice to know we can inspire.
Packing up and loading out. The rain consistently pours but
with the help of Tristan we’re able to get everything in the cars and back to
the studio.
My head feels like a balloon! Chilling out in the dining
room with mom and Ana. Struggling to be patient with each other. Sipping on
Juice and Elderberry.
Waking up at almost noon. Really needed the extra sleep
cause of this sore throat.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Blueberries, Maple Syrup, and Almond
Milk. English Breakfast Tea.
Replacing the pulley in the dryer. Lately, it was squeaking
really loudly into the night. But now it’s fixed.
I was gonna go teach a few piano lessons but I get caught up
in business on the computer – signing up new students – blog editing – photo
organizing.
Sweet Potato and Egg Sandwich. Salt n Vinegar Chips. Green
Tea.
Restringing my acoustic guitar.
After Ana gets off work we enjoy a nice dinner at Nawab, the
best Indian joint in town. Next door, we finally check out the new gelato
place, Gelati Celesti. It’s quite a contrast from where we were to here. The
place is crowded with teenagers and families – ice cream social!
Bringing mom home some leftovers.
Later on, Ana and I practice music at the studio – preparing
songs but also having fun.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Blueberries, Maple Syrup, and Almond
Milk. English Breakfast Tea.
Catching up on business at the computer. Chores.
Scrambled Eggs. Toast with Vegan Cream Cheese. Spinach. Salt
n Vinegar Chips with Avocado. Coffee.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers.
Vacuuming and cleaning the store.
Back home.
Enjoying leftovers for dinner: Lentils, Smoked Salmon,
Broccoli, Rice, and Quinoa.
Going through old photos stashed in cell phone folders on my
computer. Meanwhile, chatting with Becca online about the importance of keeping
all these articles of the past.
Later on, Ana and I practice music at the studio.
Beforehand, we get into a little heated episode in the car sparked from her
getting very defensive over something I said. In the end, we all want respect
and 100% support from each other, which we always try to give.
Back home. We discover Tristan Stewart in the house. He just
got off a plane today with plans on moving back to Virginia Beach.
Catching up on business. Running errands – picking up the
water jugs from The Watering Hole place. The old guy there has been giving us
the water free of charge out of sympathy for my mom.
Back home. Pastor Rick and Diana are here praying over mom.
She’s been very tired and still going through an uncomfortable phase but she
stays strong.
Tempeh Bacon. Sourdough Toast with Butter and Jam. Potato
Chips with Avocado. Coffee.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers. Kay is here helping watch
the front desk. She can’t always come every day but it definitely helps.
Off work Ana and I hit up Bangkok Garden for dinner. I enjoy
a Chicken Pad Thai and we share Spring Rolls.
At the rehearsal spot attending the first Wall rehearsal in
a long time. We’ve got a few new people added to the core band. There’s a big
one-off show planned in January.
Later on, hanging out with Ana at the studio practicing
music.
Ana and I go on a brunch date to Commune. We haven’t been
here in a while. It’s packed as per usual for a late Sunday morning. I order
the Sweet Potato Egg Sandwich with a side of Pancakes and Coffee. Afterwards,
we scurry over to Prosperity where they’re celebrating their 1 year
anniversary. Stocking up on pastries, bread, and things.
...
Putting up flyers for the ELO show coming up.
Catching up on business and chores at home.
Running errands.
Grilled PB&J Sourdough. Blueberries. Oolong Tea.
Prepping things in the kitchen. Cooking.
Lentils with Carrots, Onions, Celery, Asparagus, and Quinoa.
Watching Angel Has
Fallen (2019).
At the studio practicing some piano for an upcoming Pink
Floyd Wall show. Wow, it’s been a long time since I’ve touched these songs.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Blueberries, Maple Syrup, and Kefir.
Irish Breakfast Tea.
Teaching afternoon lessons at Music Makers. Mom is actually
here helping out just so she can be in here. For the past two weeks she’s been absent
from the studio cause she’s trying to get well at home.
After work I immediately scoop up Ana and music gear from
the house – heading to Norfolk – snacking on Peanuts, Plantain Chips, and an
Apple. Setting up on stage at O’Connor Brewing. Edwin’s here running sound.
It’s a total friends-like lineup of bands. I’m doing a solo Musicplayer sort of
set guest starring Ana on bass and Bobby on drums. Then, Community Witch,
Ladada, and Shy Low. Eating a Crab Cake Sandwich with Chips and an enormous
Pretzel. Sipping on Boysenberry Sour Ales and feeling social.
Back home. Ana and I hole up in her room making fire.
I decide to cancel some of my in-home lessons and workout at
the gym – playing some basketball.
Back home. Ana and mom made dinner: Butter Beans, Turnips,
Roasted Squash, Onions, and French Baguette. We decide to watch a movie the
three of us. We can’t convince Ana into watching a happier family-like movie so
we settle on The Dead Don’t Die
(2019), the latest Jim Jarmusch zombie comedy flick, which turns out to be
somewhat of a dud – slow pacing – corny humor but an all star cast. Immediately
after, I put on the latest Lion King,
which is what we should’ve put on in the first place.
Later on, practicing songs at the studio, first by myself,
then with Ana. She makes some breakthroughs on the drums.
Bowl of Granola Cereal with Almond Milk and Blueberries.
Irish Breakfast Tea.
Ana’s mom is here – celebrating her mother’s birthday. We
joke how she looks like she’s turning 23 and not 53. Ana baked her a special Chocolate
Chip bread of some kind.
Catching up on business – cleaning the bathroom as best I
can. Our shower walls have been a pain in the ass to clean cause they covered
the tile walls with this rough layer that attracts mold and mildew.
Ana and I grab some Chinese food at Jade Garden. Fried Tofu
with Vegetables, Garlic Sauce, and Rice.
Ladada rehearsal with Josiah, Jonnie, and Bobby. Bobby’s
brother just got out of jail – he’s here hanging out and observing. He’s a
musician himself and a super nice dude.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers. The harsh weather has
effected arrival times for most students and even cancellations. I’m able to
manage the front desk in between lessons.
Off work, meeting up with Ana at Gringo’s, our favorite
local taco joint. Enjoying Two Baja Fish Tacos with Chips n Guac.
Back home. Chillin’ with mom over cups of tea. She describes
all the miracles that have been occurring with her lately.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Blueberries, Maple Syrup, and Almond
Milk. Irish Breakfast Tea.
Catching up on business. Organizing footage and photos from
yesterday’s show.
Scrambled Eggs. Bagel with Butter and Jam. Potato Chips. Coffee.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers. Got no one watching the
front desk. I swing back and forth from the lesson room taking care of things
with parents and scheduling. But it’s not so bad since most people have paid up
and the schedule is pretty much set.
Stopping by Kroger for groceries.
Back home. Cooking dinner: Smoked Salmon with Broccoli,
Carrots, Onions, and Quinoa. Mom attempts to eat some of it but she’s been
really struggling coming off the morphine – there’s so many side effects from
getting off it like dry heaving and upset stomach. I feel bad for her.
Today’s the big day for all the Music Makers LIVE bands. I’m
at Elevation 27 setting up the stage with Devon’s help. It’s noon to 2pm today,
a little earlier than usual but we’re at the mercy of the venue’s schedule.
Even with only three bands we rocked the house. So proud and impressed by all
the kids and adults alike getting up there and, even when facing something
challenging, just going for it no matter what. So many great and difficult
songs! Mom was able to sit out in the crowd and enjoy the show. She’s been
going through a terrible time coming off morphine.
After the show’s over I sit at a table by myself and enjoy
one of those Beyond Meat Burgers with Fries.
Devon and I load up the cars and get everything back to the
studio.
Back home. Power napping.
Catching up on business and chores.
Chicken and Dumplings with Kale and Carrots.
At the studio organizing things and practicing. Ana joins me
later.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Blueberries, Maple Syrup, and Almond
Milk. English Breakfast Tea.
Teaching a single piano lesson at Music Makers. Then rushing
off to the rehearsal spot.
Today is the final rehearsals for these three bands.
Tomorrow is the big show! So we’re preparing their sets as best we can.
For lunch eating some Vegetable Fried Rice and a Shrimp Egg
Roll from Ming’s down the street.
Packing all the gear up after 6:30.
Heading straight to Norfolk for the Lava anniversary show.
Community Witch and tons of other bands are playing. We’re all freezing our
feet and fingers off but the fire pits are roaring and the socializing/music
keeps us warm. Ana’s band recruited a fourth member, Rashie – her debut
performance tonight. I stand in on guitar for one of their songs. Very proud of
them.
Waking up at 10:30 a.m. Attempting to sleep more but Elvis
is scratching at the door and Ana’s tinkering on the phone.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Strawberries, Maple Syrup, and Almond
Milk. English Breakfast Tea.
Running errands.
Grilled PB&J. Plantain Chips. Grapefruit. Coffee.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers. Kay is here holding it
down at the front desk. It’s extremely nice of her to volunteer to be here
especially on Lou’s birthday. It’s a hectic and full day of lessons in every
room.
Back home. Mom made Chicken and Dumplings with Kale,
Carrots, and Naan Bread.
At band practice with Ladada – it’s the transition between
Ana’s band and ours.
Tortilla Chips. Chamomile Tea. Chatting with Ana about the
day.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Blueberries, Maple Syrup, and Almond
Milk. Irish Breakfast Tea.
Basketball at the Rec.
Scrambled Eggs. Toast with Butter and Jam. Salt n Vinegar
Chips with Avocado. Kale and Carrots. Coffee.
Watching Human Affairs
(2018).
Teaching lessons at Music Makers. Kay is here to help out at
the front desk, which is nice on days like these where I’ve got zero breaks in
between lessons.
Back home. Hanging out with mom over dinner: Naan Pizza and
Cabbage.
Catching up on business.
Practicing some songs solo at the studio – bringing back old
tunes and new.
Riding a bike in a forest-rich city, possibly somewhere in
South America. It’s very hilly. The bike is not my bike – I have to keep
adjusting the handlebars to stay in place like I like them. I pass by friends I
traveled here with – talking about how perfect the temperature is, not too hot
or cold. I ride along exploring the city – now I’m in an industrial part of
town. I see a few familiar people over by an abandoned warehouse. There’s some
kind of show or costume event happening. Rachel Rephan suddenly runs out from a
fence – she’s got a blue pacifier in her mouth, blindfolded, and with nothing
much on. It’s understood to be part of some prank or challenge related to this
crazy event. I shout out her name so she recognizes me. I see more people I know
but don’t stay long. Continuing up the road I pause under a small
tunnel/overpass to fix something. Suddenly it starts pouring down rain and it
feels like a hurricane. I made it just in time.
▬☼
Waking up at 11 a.m.
Granola Cereal with Strawberries and Almond Milk. English
Breakfast Tea.
Catching up on business.
Fulfilling my civic duty and voting for senate, house of
delegates, city treasurer, council, and public schools. I did some research on
the candidates the night before. I love the aesthetic of this church that’s
volunteered their space: Scott Memorial United Methodist. It’s kind of awkward
as I walk into the voting room cause there’s about 20 volunteers and maybe two
voters in the booth. Plus, I have to say out loud my name and address. A jovial
black man shakes my hand and hands me the traditional “I Voted” sticker. “God
bless you, sir!”
As I drive out the parking lot I can hear the church bells
ring a familiar Christmas tune.
Scrambled Eggs. Poppy Seed Bagel with Vegan Cream Cheese.
Salt n Vinegar Chips. Kale. Coffee.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers. In between lessons I
handle the payments and manage the front desk.
Back home. Ana and mom made a wonderful dinner: Pumpkin,
Pea, Carrot Soup with Quinoa, Cabbage, and Naan Bread.
Later on, Ana and I play some music at the studio, something
we haven’t done in a quite a while now. We don’t focus hard on anything in
particular but try to have a little fun. I always turn into teacher mode at
some point trying to help Ana with some barre chord concepts. She doesn’t
always respond well to my insistent teaching method.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Raspberries, Maple Syrup, and Almond
Milk. English Breakfast Tea.
Basketball at the Rec. I think it’s been at least two weeks
since I’ve even set foot inside a gym. Ah, it feels great to be running up and
down the courts. Also, running into (not literally) into Earl, an old friend of
mine.
Grapefruit. Scrambled Eggs. Bagel with Jam and Butter. Salt
n Vinegar Chips. Coffee.
Watching The King
(2019).
Teaching lessons at Music Makers. Mom still needs to be at
home focusing on herself. I manage to keep everything together at the studio
cause I have many breaks in between.
Back home after grabbing some groceries at Trader Joe’s.
Leftover Tuna Steak with Rice, Kale, and Carrots. Cookie.
Catching up on business and emails.
Chatting with Ana.
Practicing some music at the studio. It feels like it’s been
a while since I just sat down and played music I want to play.
Ana and I hit up Three Ships for Biscuits and Coffee.
MMLIVE band rehearsals all day. We’re officially over at the
new spot, which is only one building over from the old spot. The ceiling is
lower and the room is somewhat smaller but it is 100% climate controlled. We’re
prepping these kids to be ready for next weekend when the big show is.
At some point I snack on fruit, Almonds, and Popcorn.
Back home. There’s always a moment at some point in the day
when everyone in the house manages to be in the dining/kitchen at the same
time. Good times.
Having myself a Your Pie pizza for dinner.
Catching up on business.
Running some late night errands to Wal-Mart.
It’s nice to have mom roaming about the house keeping things
tidy and living somewhat normally.
Talking in depth with Ana in her room. She’s been frustrated
with the lack of personal time for herself cause of her band practicing so
much.
