Sunday May 9 2021

Waking up at 11:05 a.m.

 

Cereal with Bananas, Strawberries, and Almond Milk. Tea.

 

Coaching three MMLIVE bands today – overall everything went smooth.

PB&J break with Coffee somewhere in there.

 

Grabbing groceries.

 

Shooting some basketball alone out on the Lynnhaven courts.

 

Talking with my dad on the phone – he’s about to take a cross country road trip to the Midwest.

 

It’s the second Mother’s Day without mom around. Someone sent me this little excerpt from a book about a mother passing that really helps me keep the right perspective – the understanding that I am a continuation of my mom and with that she is always with me.

“From that moment on, the idea that I had lost my mother no longer existed. All I had to do was look at the palm of my hand, feel the breeze on my face or the earth under my feet to remember that my mother is always with me, available at any time.”

 

Apple.

 

After Ana gets off work we head to Shadowlawn Eats for dinner. We’re having a decent time until she gets triggered by something I said. I was trying to share this excerpt that was sent to me but before I even get to it I flip over the fact she can’t trust me. Sometimes she’ll say these things that harm the conversation and take a left turn. Most of the time I’ll try to brush it off but this time I unleash all my raging thoughts about it. Even though we’re not that loud it’s a bit embarrassing.

...

This awkward thing continues on the drive home. We sit parked in front of our house trying to come to an understanding. In the end she’s gotta learn to trust me even when she can’t compute it – and I need to learn to be more tender as opposed to getting angry.

 

At the studio I’m cleaning up the place. She comes by and at some point ends up in my embrace in tears. After she leaves playing my soul on the piano late into the night.