This is an open and unfiltered diary-style journal
on the life of James Robert Smith.
This blog will contain sometimes graphic experiences (both beautiful and ugly),
sometimes stark insight, and all honest and factual documentation of dreams, diet, activity, and thoughts.
Picking up some Pizza Chapel to share with the boys.
Over at Wes’s house for a Ladada practice actually. Him,
Josiah, Bobby, and I practice in a small music room Wes prepared for us – he’s
got an ancient PA system that looks like a NASA command control – we even
record ourselves on a Tascam tape recorder. Afterwards, lounging in the living
room talking about Ukraine and Will Smith slapping Chris Rock.
Back home finally. Catching up on the events and business of
the day.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Strawberries, Flax Seed, and Almond
Milk. English Breakfast Tea.
At the Rec exercising. While talking to Aaron at the front
desk Louisa, a lady my mom knew from way back when I was a boy, notices me. She
never had the chance to talk to my mom when she was struggling with cancer.
There’s a warmth in her eyes that makes me feel good. Her son, Matthew, and I
used to always hang out as kids.
Eggs. Spinach. Bagel. Coffee. Pita Chips.
Watching King Richard
(2021).
Teaching lessons.
In between I grab a haircut next door at Sage. I run into
Stacy Moore – apparently she’s been getting her hair done here for the past
year. I had no idea.
Grabbing stuff at Target.
Back home.
Stir-fry with Cabbage, Tuna, Cauliflower, and Quinoa.
Dealing with some scheduling stuff and running errands.
Eggs. Spinach. Bagel. Coffee.
Teaching lessons.
Back home. Prepping the house for Ana’s birthday gathering.
Erica cooks up a nice meal in the kitchen (Sweet Potato
Noodles with Veggie Lumpia and Spicy Cauliflower – I assist compiling utensils,
ingredients, and keeping the sink clear. Meanwhile, a lot of our friends show
up with alcoholic beverages. I fill up the table with snacks.
I bought a Nothing Bundt cake, added a couple horses, and
the number 31 – we all sing Happy Birthday – she is grateful.
At Commonwealth Brewing – Ana is performing a solo set with
her guitar and microphone – there’s all kinds of other female artists playing
before and after. Meanwhile, the demographic is 80% dogs and kids running
around. The room is so cavernous too making the music hard to distinguish. Even
though Ana is nervous she does a good job. Snacking on a Chicken Sandwich with
Fries. I have to leave at a certain time...
...At Music Makers linking up with a group of Music Makers
kids and Rebecca to rehearse this Wall scene we’re about to do tonight.
Afterwards, we all march over to Elevation 27 for DEJA’s The
Wall where they play a live soundtrack to the entire movie – it’s very packed
inside. Some of the kids are nervous as we wait around backstage in the green
room. But we keep up their confidence. Rebecca and I lead them when the time
comes – they march to the foot of the stage moving in time with the music –
lights shining down – I mime all the teacher lines that John Coleman does on
stage. The crowd is thrilled.
“We don’t need no
education!”
I’m very proud of them for learning all this last minute. It
was worth it to put all this together and spice up the show.
Back home. Warming up some Pasta leftovers and recapping the
day with Ana – she was at all the music events in Norfolk.
Doing dishes and catching up on things.
Ana and I have a constructive conversation about our
relationship downstairs and hope to set some bed time deadlines so we can get
to bed at decent hours.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Blueberries, Flax Seed, and Almond
Milk. English Breakfast Tea.
Catching up on business.
Organizing all the boxes and tubs downstairs of all my old
things. Running errands.
While at the tailor picking up my clothes I’m able to chat
with the lady for a while (name pronounced Eun Young). There’s some Korean
drama series on her iPad at the sewing table – we talk about movies – how
important communication is and the difficulties she faces when talking in
English.
Cleaning up the living room in preparation for guests.
Ana’s mom, Auntie Nellie, and Pat drop by to visit Ana and I
– her birthday is coming up actually. I bake a bunch of frozen snacks and such
to share. Telling stories and enjoying company in the living room.
Dropping all the tubs and things at the storage unit –
cleaning up around the house.
Making dinner for Ana and I: Pasta with Kale, and all the
fixings.
At the studio organizing things and printing flyers for our
upcoming MMLIVE show.
Workout with Vlad – it’s been a few weeks since I’ve really
lifted. It’s good to get back into it.
Eggs. English Muffin. Sweet Potatoes. Spinach. Coffee.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers.
Japanese Style Fried Rice with Edamame, Sardines, and Kale.
Wes and I ride out to the storage unit for Ladada practice
with Bobby and Josiah – we’re productive tonight and catch a few inspirational
moments on the old songs.
Waking up to the sound of the workers replacing the French
door downstairs. Ana and I lie in bed trying to sleep – I crank up the brown
noise on my iPad to block out the banging noises.
...
We make fire, something we hadn’t done in a long while. It’s
strange considering a dream I just had where I was essentially with someone
else – even though it wasn’t real I feel guilty.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Blueberries, Flax Seed, and Almond
Milk. English Breakfast Tea.
Downstairs rearranging everything back together now that the
doors are installed – also vacuuming and cleaning as I go.
Running errands.
Banana. Kiwi Bites.
Spinach Salad with Eggs, Beets, Tomatoes, English Muffin,
and Sweet Potatoes. Coffee.
Watching Windfall
(2022).
Teaching lessons at Music Makers.
Back home. Making dinner: Pasta with Kale, Feta Cheese, and
Sourdough Garlic Bread.
Part two of my cleaning out corners: pulling out all the
boxes out of my closet so I can clear it out and move old junk to the storage
unit. Of course I can’t just simply move the boxes I have to take a peek at
relics of my past. I find a few letters my mom wrote me while I was away for
summers with dad.
Rebecca and I drive out to Nigel’s house for a band meeting
along with Jimmy the Greek. We have much to debrief from the last string of
shows and to prepare for the next. There’s a list to address dealing with merch
and various band drama. Being the micro manager that he is sometimes it’s hard
to deal with but Nigel is usually reasonable. Meanwhile, one of his grandbabies
is marching around the house.
...
After leaving the house we ride back towards Hilltop.
Something that was said in the meeting offended Rebecca. We try to sort it out
all the while rushing back to make her 2:00 lesson time. Meanwhile, I discover
I left my bag at Nigel’s, which has my car keys and the Music Makers phone and
such. Boy, what a day this is turning out
to be.
Back home for some lunch – I ended up walking.
Eggs. English Muffin. Spinach. Coffee.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers.
Popcorn.
Right after we have a meet up with some of the kids that
will be doing some choreography for The Wall show this Saturday. Rebecca helps
me orchestrate it – even though it’s late we have a good time figuring it out.
...
Chatting with Rebecca outside, I sense how troubled she is
about the meeting earlier today and what was said – it really brought her down
and made her feel reactive and defeated. She was grateful for the iced chai
latte I brought her considering there wasn’t any time for her to grab decent
food. I just want her to feel appreciated and try to sort out what’s going on
in her head.
Back home. Making some quick dinner: Edamame with Vegan
Sausage, Zucchini, and Rice.
Dropping off the phone and stuff to Music Makers. Rebecca
had a few cancellations early on – on a whim she drives us out to The Giving
Tree chiropractor off Rosemont for some much needed adjustments. Then, dropping
by Alpha Music to grab a few cables.
I’m home for a minute to eat lunch: Eggs, English Muffin,
Spinach, and Coffee.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers.
Afterwards, we’re supposed to have Modern Day Warrior band
practice but it turns out to just be Megan and Billy. We run some Bohemian
Rhapsody harmonies and such – Rebecca helps Megan get out of her shell.
Back home. Warming up some dinner: BBQ Lentils, Cauliflower,
and Quinoa.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Blueberries, Flax Seed, and Almond
Milk. English Breakfast Tea.
At the studio doing a couple one-off lessons with Chase and
Jaden. Rebecca and I both teach them cause they’re supposed to be performing at
the next MMLIVE show.
Afterwards, Rebecca and I meet with Jimmy the Greek from ELO
to get a game plan together to tackle issues we need to address as far as tour
stuff goes.
Back home.
Spinach Salad with Eggs, beets, and Tomatoes. Sourdough
Bread. Coffee.
Catching up on business.
Raspberries
Running night errands.
Leftover Pasta with Vegan Sausage and Veggies.
At the studio organizing things and getting rid of this old
organ – practicing drums.
Running errands – returning that god forsaken garment rack
to Wal-Mart and purchasing a nicer one at Target.
Taking care of chores and things at the house.
Later, after Ana gets back from the horse farm, she drives
us out to Norfolk – grabbing lunch at Mr. Shawarma’s (Falafel Pita Wraps and
Fries) – then exchanging some clothes at Nomad’s down the street – dropping by
Smartmouth to say hello to Jordan and collect some Lava tickets – grabbing a
loaf from Chelsea Bake House.
While Ana prepares dinner I construct a garment rack for
Music Makers new t-shirts.
Back home. Eating dinner together: BBQ Lentils with Roasted
Veggies and Quinoa.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Blueberries, Flax Seed, and Almond
Milk. English Breakfast Tea.
At Soul Haven Studios to track some quick piano for new ELO
songs – Nigel is here with Edwin, Jimmy, and John – they’re filming behind the
scenes stuff and recording a whole string section.
Running errands – stopping by Alpha for some cables – thrift
store where I find new blank shirts and show shoes.
Eggs. Spinach. English Muffin. Coffee.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers.
Afterwards, Aaron and Zach show up to practice Mae songs.
Meanwhile, Rebecca and I talk business for a bit.
Back home. Making a quick a dinner: Naan Pizza with Salad.
Watching Sorry to
Bother You (2022).
Wes and I ride out to Norfolk for Ladada practice. Working
on the latest new songs and jamming out.
I’m somewhere outside of a house at night. There’s some kind
of commotion going on inside – I see through the window Rebecca standing at the
sink washing dishes and cleaning up from a dinner party. She’s wearing that
purple bow in her hair from waking life yesterday. I run in cause it feels like
something bad has happened – maybe there’s hostility from another person.
“This is ridiculous!” I exclaim. “None of this is fair! I’m
not gonna take this generational curse anymore! It stops right now!”
Everyone looks at me in shock – my mom is there all of a
sudden.
▬☼
Waking up from some crazy dreams at 11:17 a.m.
Catching up on business.
Running errands.
Dropping and picking things up from the tailor. JoAnne, the
nice Korean lady, shows me my name in Korean.
Picking up groceries at Whole Foods. Again, I’ve been
feeling so emotional lately – that Joe Cocker song “With a Little Help from My
Friends” comes on the PA speaker and I start crying while staring at the maple
syrups.
Then at Wal-Mart to get a clothes rack.
Spinach Salad with Eggs, Tomatoes, Cucumber, Carrots, and
English Muffin.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers.
Afterwards, meeting with Carol and Rebecca to talk about
Broadway for the rest of the year – I brought Chic-fil-A for Rebecca and I to
eat cause it’s our dinner time! Carol is dealing with a lot right now cause her
mom doesn’t have long to live – she vents to us about all the family drama
around it.
...
Later on, I organize some things at the studio. Ana drops in
with a mission to ruffle my feathers. But we retreat to the 104 space where I
tinker on the piano – meanwhile, she expresses her feelings about us and
everything. I try to soften the room with music. Eventually, she hops on the
drums and we jam out to an original piano idea.
Back home. Snacking on some Corn Tortilla Chips with Hummus.
Later, Ana comes into my room still very unhappy about our
relationship. The arguments get so bad I have to storm out of the house and go
for a walk. The problem is she keeps pushing me and pushing me to tell her “the
truth”.But there is no truth that I
haven’t already told her. Whatever I tell her she doesn’t believe me anyway
cause she doesn’t trust me – she never has. I don’t know what to do.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Blueberries, Flax Seed, and Almond
Milk. English Breakfast Tea.
Catching up on business.
At the Rec trying to get some of a workout in. While
listening to some CCR on way home through Hilltop I find myself getting real
emotional and cry – not sure why – I guess lately things have been rocky.
Eggs. English Muffin. Spinach. Coffee. Banana.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers.
Apple.
Back home. Eating a dinner that Ana prepared before she went
off to work.
Pasta with Vegan Feta Cheese, Tomatoes, Kale, and Peas.
Catching up on all kinds stuff at the computer – researching
new eyeglasses – emails – planning.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Flax Seed, and Almond Milk. English
Breakfast Tea.
It’s nice to be home and take a shower with my own beautiful
Chantytown water pressure!
Running errands – getting groceries.
Eggs. English Muffin. Spinach. Coffee. Pineapple.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers then coaching the Modern
Day Warrior band – it’s just Thomas, Megan, Luke, and I. We work on the music
of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Back home. Making a quick dinner: Salad with Sardines, and
Pita/Hummus.
Catching up on business.
Intertwined with chores Ana pursues an argument with me
about the relationship – I’m mostly listening as she accuses me of not
listening and not caring. I’m very frustrated but choose to remain calm. We’ve
really hit a low point that I don’t know how to get out of.
Waking up reluctantly at 11:15 a.m. in the hotel room.
Linking up with our crew downstairs in the lobby – grabbing
some hot tea and munching on a breakfast bar with Rebecca.
We all take the rental cars to the airport and thus begins
our airport adventure day. Rebecca and I get held up shuttling to the terminal
– the guy stops to pick up all kinds of people – we barely make it to the gate
just in time – then another problem comes up – Jimmy uses my digital boarding
pass instead of his cause we both have James as first names – but finally we
settle into our seats – the 3 R’s as we call it (Ron, Robert, and Rebecca).
...
St. Louis to La Guardia. The three of us are mesmerized by a
nearby guy flicking his fingers vigorously at a Rubix Cube. Ron starts timing
his solves. High up in the air we can see the land start to turn white with
snow – we’ve seen all kinds of extreme temperatures on this tour. I try to
sleep but end up doing the “resting my eyes” thing mostly.
...
At La Guardia. We’ve got about a 2.5 hour layover but then
all the weather delays change it to almost 4 hours. Jimmy goes off on his own
while some of us grab some pizza in the food court. Later, finding a recharge
station to catch up on business while we wait – Rebecca and I both pull out our
laptops and type away – working out some business related things. Meanwhile,
our flight keeps getting delayed and delayed. Apparently, computers all over
the world had issues yesterday – something to do with the war in Ukraine.
After doing some physical activity on a city themed
playground we finally make it on board the flight to Norfolk! Only a 45 minute
ride and we’re home.
Back home. I walk in on Ana vacuuming and cleaning the
living room. Enjoying a PB Pita and some of her homemade Apple Pie. She’s not
thrilled with the lack of communication between her and I while being gone. We
can’t seem to find a middle ground.