Wednesday March 16 2022

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I’m somewhere outside of a house at night. There’s some kind of commotion going on inside – I see through the window Rebecca standing at the sink washing dishes and cleaning up from a dinner party. She’s wearing that purple bow in her hair from waking life yesterday. I run in cause it feels like something bad has happened – maybe there’s hostility from another person.

“This is ridiculous!” I exclaim. “None of this is fair! I’m not gonna take this generational curse anymore! It stops right now!”

Everyone looks at me in shock – my mom is there all of a sudden.

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Waking up from some crazy dreams at 11:17 a.m.

 

Catching up on business.

 

Running errands.

Dropping and picking things up from the tailor. JoAnne, the nice Korean lady, shows me my name in Korean.

Picking up groceries at Whole Foods. Again, I’ve been feeling so emotional lately – that Joe Cocker song “With a Little Help from My Friends” comes on the PA speaker and I start crying while staring at the maple syrups.

Then at Wal-Mart to get a clothes rack.

 

Spinach Salad with Eggs, Tomatoes, Cucumber, Carrots, and English Muffin.

 

Teaching lessons at Music Makers.

 

Afterwards, meeting with Carol and Rebecca to talk about Broadway for the rest of the year – I brought Chic-fil-A for Rebecca and I to eat cause it’s our dinner time! Carol is dealing with a lot right now cause her mom doesn’t have long to live – she vents to us about all the family drama around it.

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Later on, I organize some things at the studio. Ana drops in with a mission to ruffle my feathers. But we retreat to the 104 space where I tinker on the piano – meanwhile, she expresses her feelings about us and everything. I try to soften the room with music. Eventually, she hops on the drums and we jam out to an original piano idea.

 

Back home. Snacking on some Corn Tortilla Chips with Hummus.

 

Later, Ana comes into my room still very unhappy about our relationship. The arguments get so bad I have to storm out of the house and go for a walk. The problem is she keeps pushing me and pushing me to tell her “the truth”.  But there is no truth that I haven’t already told her. Whatever I tell her she doesn’t believe me anyway cause she doesn’t trust me – she never has. I don’t know what to do.