Saturday April 30 2022

  

Waking up around 11 or so a.m. in the hotel room of the Resorts Casino in Atlantic City.

 

Showering up and grabbing brunch with Rebecca at Breadstix, a mediocre diner food place but the eggs and French toast aren’t bad.

...

Perusing the boardwalk, which is actually made of wood planks – this place reminds me of an alternate reality of Virginia Beach’s oceanfront. We find an arcade and go-kart track.

 

 

Then, time to set up the stage for the big show tonight. Sound check – deal with lighting issues and sound issues. Then moving on...

 

It’s a maze backstage trying to locate the employee cafeteria where we can get dinner for free. It’s actually not bad food surprisingly – this room is apparently open 24 hours a day cause it’s designed for all the employees and workers at the resort.

 

Strapping on our show attire and hopping up on the stage to perform for a sold out room as The American ELO. We run into a few technical mishaps but that’s to be expected – Kevin’s guitar falls over and needs a battery changed – Rebecca’s in-ear monitors go out for the second half of the show – Ron’s wireless guitar goes out and he changes to a cable. But of course all of this goes unnoticed to the general audience.

 

 

Out at the merch table getting hundreds of photos on people’s phones and accepting compliments. There’s always some interesting fans to talk to – one guy actually goes through the effort of dressing up like Jeff Lynne.

 

After the stage/merch/trailer gets packed up we link up with a group to scour the food court in the casino for late night sustenance – a dinette called Ruby’s serves solid shoestring fries. Then, with Rebecca, Jimmy A., Edwin, and Casey taking a stroll into the Hard Rock Café for Gelato and your generic shenanigans.

 

Friday April 29 2022

Waking up around 11:35 a.m.

 

Packing up the car. Rebecca and I link up at the warehouse with the rest of the van crew, otherwise known as The Magic School Bus as we’re calling it on this tour.

 

Mike and Carlos take the front seats carrying the weight of all of us: Rebecca, Jimmy A., John, Anne, Nancy, and I.

 

Passing through the Chesapeake Bay Bridge Tunnel then on up through Eastern Shore.

 

Sharing Peanut Butter Sandwiches. Grabbing a decent coffee from a Royal Farms.

 

Finally arriving at the Resorts Casino Hotel in Atlantic City, New Jersey. It’s a bit chaotic checking into the rooms – they’ve got bellmen that work for the union and are required to roll the luggage carts to the rooms. Eventually, we get all settled in and grab dinner up the hall at an Italian restaurant called Capriccio’s.

...

It’s very upscale considering the prices but we do get a $50 per diem for each person so no stress on the check. Nearby our table is a boisterous bunch of mobster vibin’ dudes. Enjoying a plate of Clams and Linguini with Bread and a Salad. Topping it off with a delicious vanilla Souffle and a glass of red Chianti.

 

Afterwards, Rebecca and I explore the casino and make our way to the Hard Rock Café where we find a dueling piano bar – people bring up their requests and these piano players just perform with a drummer. It’s quite entertaining. Getting lost in the casino is a tradition.

 

 

Thursday April 28 2022

Waking up around 10:40 a.m.

 

Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Blueberries, Flax Seed, and Almond Milk. English Breakfast Tea.

 

Having a business meeting with Nigel, Kevin, and Rebecca with Bill Reid and this lady Kelly whom might be able to offer a tour managing role to the band.

 

Workout with Vlad.

Banana.

 

Eggs. Spinach. English Muffin. Salt n Vinegar Chips. Coffee.

 

Teaching lessons at Music Makers.

 

Leftovers for dinner.

 

Rebecca and I drive to Nigel’s with plans for me to retrieve the van but instead I just end up getting a copy of the keys. He’s still excited to show us these new lights he got for the string section and all other sorts of band related things.

 

Back home. I start packing for the trip tomorrow.

 

Later on, Ana and I have some serious talks about us again. Things are really different now.

...

I sit on the computer chair, legs stretched out, while she presses for me to admit we’re separating. Tears start falling from my face. I’m sad and confused about what to do – and how to move forward. I keep saying “It’s a process.”

...

She asks to sleep next to me even though she’s got a persistent cough.

 

Wednesday April 27 2022

Waking up around 11:40 a.m.

 

Breakfast Bar. Tea.

 

Catching up on business and emails.

 

Working out at the gym.

Banana.

 

Eggs. English Muffin. Spinach. Sweet Potato. Coffee.

 

Teaching lessons at Music Makers.

 

Errands.

 

Leftovers for dinner.

Watching this Ted Bundy documentary.

 

Cleaning up and doing chores.

 

Later on, I head into Ana’s room – she’s in bed about to drift off to sleep. I play with Elvis cause he’s obviously frisky and needs to exercise. Ana and I catch up on the past week sort of – things between her and I are fragile and could break at any moment but we’re not yelling at each other at least.

 

“Sometimes even after knowing someone for many years you can’t see them...even if they’re standing right in front of you.”

 

“You deserve to be happy,” I say as I give her a hug goodnight.

 

Tuesday April 26 2022

Waking up at 11 a.m.

 

Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Blueberries, Flax Seed, and Almond Milk. English Breakfast Tea.

 

Rebecca and I drive over to Nigel’s house, otherwise known as the ELO Command Center lol. While we’re there briefing about the weekend and anything we need to get done, Edwin and Casey and everyone under the sun are in and out doing random tasks and meeting with Nigel about whatever.

 

Eggs. Sweet Potato. English Muffin. Spinach. Coffee.

 

Teaching lessons at Music Makers.

 

Right afterwards I have to hightail it to Norfolk for a show. Ladada is playing with Gone and Acid Dad at Chicho’s Backstage. All our friends are there – got to see Calum after 5 years and Cynthia. Sharing a Margherita Pizza and some Gose’s. Ana’s here too but she doesn’t really stand by me or talk to me much – we’ve been generally keeping our distance from each other which has been strange.

 

Monday April 25 2022

Waking up around 11:30 a.m.

 

Breakfast Bar. Tea.

 

Catching up on business.

 

Gotta get this rental van situation figured – we have to return it early in hopes we won’t be charged the full reservation amount – it works out after I talk to a lady at the Enterprise counter.

 

Grabbing groceries at Whole Foods.

 

Eggs. English Muffin. Sweet Potato. Spinach. Coffee.

 

Teaching lessons at Music Makers.

 

Hanging out with the Modern Day Warrior band practice for a little bit.

 

Chicken Pad Thai for dinner.

 

Then, Wes and I drive out to Ladada band practice at the storage unit. We work through a set list for tomorrow’s show.

 

Pea Crisps. Coconut Water.

 

Sunday April 24 2022

Waking up bright and early at 8 a.m. Lobby call is 9 a.m.

 

We actually make it on time for breakfast. Filling up on some eggs, a biscuit, and oatmeal.

 

Hitting the road in the minivan with Mike, Ron, Rebecca, and myself. Bye Sheboygan, Wisconsin!

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Chilling in the back – napping – stopping by Culver’s for lunch.

 

It’s a long, long 15 hour or so drive. Ron and Mike take most of the main driving shifts. Rebecca and I hole up in the back getting some work done. We stop quite a few times here and there.

 

PB&J Pita. Plantain Chips. Coffee.

 

Continuing the drive – finding ways to entertain ourselves with Mike’s quick witted humor and Ron’s playful sarcasm.

 

At some point I take over the wheel and lead the home stretch.

 

Finally dropping off everybody and settling back in at home around 3 a.m.

 

Saturday April 23 2022

 

Waking up around 11: a.m. after sleeping in a wonderfully cozy hotel bed.

 

Breakfast Bar. Tea.

 

Driving into downtown Sheboygan, Wisconsin – we’re playing at a beautiful theater tonight called The Weill Center for Performing Arts – similar character and style from last night’s gig but on a grander scale and with a neoclassical vibe.

...

Setting up the stage and fixing up the camera. Of course there’s always so much to do to get the show ready.

 

 

Sound check.

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For dinner we get a BBQ catering.

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I take a walk around the block and discover some cool monuments and gardens.

 

 

Showtime! We put on a great show honestly. At some point during intermission Nigel and Phil (the front of house sound guy) have a big fight/argument, and really for no reason. They talk it out like they always do. The crowd is absolutely floored by the show. We meet and greet out in the lobby and it’s a madhouse. But it’s always fun and exciting to hear all the compliments – a lot of honest and genuine ones too. We get picture after picture taken of us.

 

 

Back at the hotel – normally we’d hang out with a few people for a workout party but not tonight. Rebecca and I are exhausted. Catching up on the footage from the day and relaxing.

 

Friday April 22 2022

Waking up in the most comfortable cloud of a bed.

 

Breakfast Bar. Tea.

 

Checking into the venue in downtown St. Charles, Illinois. The Arcada Theatre. This place was built back in 1926 and has a rich history of many performers and famous historical figures like Al Capone and Charlie Chaplain. Above the theatre itself is a thriving “speakeasy” full of 1920’s décor and rooms – complete with a Chicago blues band in the corner.

 

 

Setting up the stage and figuring out all the logistics. Sound check goes smooth. Hospitality down below is fantastic – they have a few super nice ladies making sure everyone is taken care of – pasta and ravioli is superb.

...

While signing some of band posters I notice today’s date is April 22 2022. And earlier the room number is 222.

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The most delicious chocolate cake is served and we all sing Happy Birthday to Kevin.

 

After 8:30 Evil Woman – The American ELO puts on our show – two sets of all the greatest hits. The crowd’s energy always makes it all worth it. How their faces light up with joy during the whole performance. Afterwards, we always do a meet and greet, which can be rewarding. Some of these people are complete and total fans of ELO, been following them since the 70’s. Signing autographs and getting a thousand pictures.

 

 

Loading out and packing up then driving a few hours to Sheboygan – checking into the hotel somehow the room number once again has 2’s in it (322).

 

Thursday April 21 2022

Waking up on and off on the futon mattress in the back of the minivan. Casey was driving, now Rebecca is. Meanwhile, Nancy is on some kind of Florida by-laws meeting on her phone that lasts about 3 hours. The van stops here and there while I try to catch some zzz’s.

...

Breakfast Bar. Tea.

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Somewhere along the way to the Chicago area we stop at a turnpike gas station. Making sandwiches for lunch.

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Rebecca really holds it down as the driver all the way until St. Charles, Illinois.

 

Checking into the hotel.

 

Linking up with the crew for dinner at Giordano’s, an Italian place that serves Chicago style deep dish pizzas. We all congregate at the long table enjoying the tasty salads and ultra cheesy pizzas, seriously like 80% cheese and 20% everything else.

 

 

Back at the hotel we corral a pool party. Rebecca, Jimmy the Greek, Edwin, Casey, and myself hang out and entertain ourselves with the pool tools.

 

 

Later on, back in the hotel room.

 

I sit at the computer and ponder the direction I’m heading and choosing to live in. Meanwhile, some smooth relaxing jazz is playing on my phone. I’ve really dived into this and I don’t think I can turn back.

 

Wednesday April 20 2022

Waking up around 11:45 a.m.

 

Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Strawberries, Flax Seed, and Almond Milk. English Breakfast Tea.

 

Catching up on business.

 

Errands.

 

Eggs. Spinach. Sweet Potato. Bagel. Coffee.

Watching Conversations with a Killer: The Ted Bundy Tapes (2019).

 

Teaching lessons at Music Makers.

 

Stopping by Trader Joe’s to retrieve some snacks. Ana is surprised cause I hardly ever come here anymore.

 

Eating freshovers at home: Vegan Sausage with Quinoa, Green Beans, and Corn on the Cob.

 

Chocolate Chip Cookies.

 

Packing up my suitcases in preparation for a tour weekend.

 

It’s almost 12:30 a.m. Before I head out Ana and I have a serious talk. She really wants affirmation that we’re still committed. I have a hard time saying either or cause of all the doubts I have. She sits on the rolling chair looking very sad – Elvis pops up on her lap vying for affection. I love him and I do love her. But it’s really hard to hang on. I’m scared of losing a future with her, I am. I play out all the scenarios in my head – scenarios where we stay together and set up a homestead – then another scenario where I’m on my own. I can’t clamp down the best path for me.

...

As I load up the van she starts to get very frantic threatening to run over to Rebecca’s house to do I don’t know what. I get her to calm down in the middle of the parking lot – we hug and she walks off into the house.

 

Picking up Rebecca in the new soccer mom rental van. We run a few late night errands – printing itineraries – depositing money to the bank. Then, scooping up Casey and Nancy from the warehouse.

 

Comfortable in the back on the futon while Casey takes the first driving shift.

 

Tuesday April 19 2022

Alarm goes off at 11 a.m. Ana vies for affection and tries to come on to me. But I’m still distant and conflicted by everything. This spurs an uncomfortable morning argument about the relationship.

 

While I try to cook oatmeal she keeps wanting to address everything all at once. She really wants everything to work out and I’m standing over here lost and confused.

 

Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Blueberries, Flax Seed, and Almond Milk. English Breakfast Tea.

 

At the gym working out.

Not feeling good about Ana and I – it’s really weighing down on me.

 

Eggs. Sweet Potato. Spinach. Bagel. Coffee.

 

Teaching lessons at Music Makers.

 

Making some leftovers at home with Sardines, Quinoa, Veggies, and Edamame.

 

Rebecca and I drive over to Nigel’s to pick up the rental van that Nancy drove up from Florida.

 

I clean out the van and try to figure out how to put down this futon mattress cause this upcoming tour’s drive will be a long one.

 

Catching up on business back home.

 

Doing chores and such.

 

Pita Chips with Hummus and Pineapple.

 

Ana didn’t come home at all until past 3 in the morning, very unlike her. But I understand cause she probably just wanted to distance herself from the house and me.

...

We sit in my room – both of us sad about things. I talk about how our music community of friends is like one organism and how important that is to me in regards to what happens to us – also, in general how I’m afraid to lose what we have. We reach a common ground I suppose.

 

Monday April 18 2022

Waking up around 11:30 a.m.

 

Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Blueberries, Flax Seed, and Almond Milk. English Breakfast Tea.

 

At the gym working out.

 

Spinach Salad with Eggs, Beets, and Tomatoes. Bagel with Hummus. Coffee.

 

Teaching lessons at Music Makers.

 

Afterwards, it’s mayhem at the studio. While Modern Day Warrior is practicing some teachers are still teaching lessons – Allyson is still trying to finish up things – Tristan and I head across the street for some pizza at Your Pie.

...

Back at the studio he helps me troubleshoot this tech issues I’m having with the credit card security system scan.

 

Back home. Catching up on business over Green Tea.

 

Pistachios and Popcorn.

 

Later on Ana sleeps in my bed – we just lie there earlier than usual cause I’m constantly trying to push for sleep earlier nowadays.

 

Sunday April 17 2022

Waking up super late after noon.

 

Breakfast Bar. Tea.

 

Happy Easter! I spend most of my afternoon constructing this new shelf thing I got on Amazon and continuing to organizing this corner of my bedroom.

 

Eggs. Toast. Kale. Sweet Potato. Coffee.

 

More cleaning.

 

Out and about running errands – stopping by Wal-Mart for some bins.

Then, at Whole Foods. I run into Rebecca by coincidence – she’s on the phone with her mom – we chat for a bit in the breakfast bar and tea aisle. Then, suddenly Ana surprises us with her presence – she just got off work and looks very disturbed by what she sees. This causes a whole ruckus for no reason. I finish up my shopping and get home.

...

While putting the groceries away she’s adamantly pressing the issues behind what she saw and it sparks a whole debate about the relationship and everything.

 

Eventually, she gets to cooking dinner: Vegan Burgers with Cauliflower and Corn on the Cob.

 

While I wash the endless amount of dishes she expresses her feelings about everything in a monologue – she senses my apprehension about continuing the relationship – this whole thing is very strange for me. I never thought I’d feel like this, like wanting to give up.

 

Continuing on about the night – she cleans and I keep organizing.

 

Saturday April 16 2022

Waking up around 11:30 a.m.

 

Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Blueberries, Flax Seed, and Almond Milk. English Breakfast Tea.

 

Catching up on business.

 

Organizing some of the closet in my room.

 

Eggs. Kale. Toast. Sweet Potato. Coffee.

 

I scoop up Rebecca and we visit the mall. I’m in search of some black dress pants, plus we just wanted to hang out. Scouring Express and checking out some of the stores I used to traverse as a teen like Spencer’s. In Barnes and Noble we have a few drinks in the café – chai tea latte for her always and a frappuccino for me. Flipping through this Psychology magazine while we talk about things.

 

Later on, eating leftovers back at the house.

 

Continuing the exhuming of my closet – putting all the relics of my past into totes and bins – cleaning.

 

Meanwhile, Ana is baking in the kitchen some Easter-like cupcakes.

 

She needs to get to bed early. I say goodnight.

“Can I ask you a question?” she asks. “Are we still together?”

“Yes we are unless otherwise stated.”

 

Friday April 15 2022

Waking up around 11:30 a.m.

 

Breakfast Bar. Tea.

 

At the gym working out – leg day. Once again, feeling emotional.

 

Off and on interaction with Ana at the house – she is very upset and sensitive about things right now cause she knows something is amiss between her and I.

 

Doing a few things at Music Makers.

 

Finishing up my taxes back at home finally! Catching up on other things too.

 

Ana and I decide to grab some dinner at Hearth down at the oceanfront. It took her a long while and little bit of reluctance to get her into the booth. I was waiting forever sipping on a glass of red wine. Eventually we have a decent time.

I reach over my glass to clink hers and she playfully but kind of seriously exclaims, “To the end!”

“To the end,” I relay.

Oysters, Salads, and Garlic Fries. And then a Berry Crostata to finish it off.

 

Back home. We get stuck in the kitchen on an emotional roller coaster discussing “us”. Things get real tender as she stays kneeled on the ground by the fridge and I leaning up against the counter. While the dishwasher rumbles so do our hearts trying to sort what to do. Is there a possibility of a friendship if we break up? What direction is best for our happiness?

 

Later on, I start doing chores and cleaning heavily. Laundry, dishes, vacuuming, cleaning parts of the hallway bathroom.

 

Thursday April 14 2022

Waking up around 11:20 a.m.

 

Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Blueberries, Flax Seed, and Almond Milk. English Breakfast Tea.

 

At the gym doing a workout with Vlad. Afterwards, I run on the treadmill for a while – getting inspired with some old Arcade Fire songs – they hit so hard I can’t help but tear up – it’s a like a mixed cry of feeling overwhelmed, sad, scared, and happy all at the same time.

 

In the 104 space briefly talking with Rebecca before she starts teaching. I catch up with her on the comings and goings of things.

 

Back home. Ana has her mom and brother Jeremy here visiting. Meanwhile, I’m making lunch.

Eggs. Spinach. English Muffin. Sweet Potato. Coffee.

I’ve noticed Ana has been extra attentive and wanting to give me hugs and goodbyes whenever I leave the house. I know she senses my distance and reluctance.

 

Teaching a few lessons at Music Makers.

 

Rebecca and I pick up a few things from Target.

 

Dinner: Vegan Beef with Peppers, Onions, Broccoli, Brussel Sprouts, and Quinoa.

 

Working on a few things and cleaning up the kitchen.

 

Wednesday April 13 2022

Waking up around 11:20 a.m. feeling much better than yesterday.

 

Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Blueberries, Flax Seed, and Almond Milk. English Breakfast Tea.

 

Sad contemplative but yet productive afternoon today. While working on some emails Ana comes into my room to talk about us again – not great timing but we chip away at understanding each other and figuring out what the best move is.

 

Running errands – dropping stuff off at the tailor.

 

Eggs. Spinach. English Muffin. Salt n Vinegar Chips. Ginger Peach Drink.

 

Teaching lessons at Music Makers.

 

Afterwards, Mike pops by to talk to Rebecca and I about some ELO stuff and also to return a pair of gloves and a hat he left in the van.

 

Back home. Warming up some leftovers for dinner.

Watching Bruised (2022).

 

Home organizing photos and stuff for MMLIVE on the computer – preparing an email. Chores.

 

Tuesday April 12 2022

Waking up at 11:20 a.m. with a sore throat.

 

Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Strawberries, Flax Seed, and Almond Milk. Earl Grey Tea.

 

Catching up on business.

 

Running errands – getting groceries – filling up on elderberry and fruit sustenance.

 

Eggs. Spinach. English Muffin.

 

Teaching lessons at Music Makers.

Apple.

 

Back home. Having some Pasta with Kale, Mackerel, Carrots, and Ciabatta Bread.

Watching Bruised (2022).

 

My nose is a leaky faucet – blowing/sneezing every 30 seconds. Despite, I get started on my personal taxes. Slurping down a Turmeric Orange drink and letting nature’s magic do some work.

 

Getting to bed earlier than usual.

 

Monday April 11 2022

Waking up around 11:30 a.m.

 

Breakfast Bar. Tea.

 

Dropping the rental van off at Enterprise in the airport – I coordinate with Rebecca so I can get a ride back. There’s always much band drama to discuss.

 

Spinach Salad with Eggs and Beets. Pita with Hummus. Mushroom Coffee.

 

Teaching lessons at Music Makers.

Rebecca brought me a Nitro Cold Brew from Starbucks, a thoughtful gesture.

 

After a long day of teaching, her and I head out towards Nigel’s house. We stop by Shake Shack for a quick dinner. That Arcade Fire song, “Everything Now”, comes on the speaker and strikes a nice chord in me.

Enjoying Shroom Burgers with Fries and a Cookies n Cream Milkshake.

At Nigel’s to have a debriefing from last week’s tour and to receive checks for some of the expenses we’ve been needing to get reimbursed for. His little granddaughter bounces around the house while we discuss things we need to prepare for next trip. These little meetings are always usually productive.

 

Back home. I clean up and do some chores.

 

I feel a scratch in my throat – so I revert to Oranges and ACV/Honey Drink.

 

Ana comes into my room and wants to continue our conversation per last night about the relationship. What’s the best course of action? We are relatively calm tonight compared to other times so I’m grateful for that. I’m still so conflicted. Her and I both lean towards some kind of separation. But I can tell that’s not exactly what she wants. This whole thing is very challenging and difficult.

 

Sunday April 10 2022

Waking up bright and early at 8ish a.m. in a hotel room in Jackson, Michigan. Our van has to leave at 9 a.m. so we can hit the road as early as possible.

 

Mike and Ron take the wheel while Rebecca and I attempt to nap on the floor. This van has a magical feature to completely hide away the seats in the floorboard.

 

Eating a Cinnamon Roll and an Orange with Tea.

 

More driving – catching up on things on the computer – organizing photos and writing.

 

We stop at a truck plaza for food but we’re limited to all the lower grade eatery options. I settle on some pickled Snap Peas and Pita Chips with Peanut Butter. Coincidentally, the van/trailer crew also end up at the same stop as us.

 

Back on the road – the guys in the back this time while Rebecca takes the wheel. I sit in the passenger seat contemplating – she’s got some easy going instrumental music going – I realize the closer we get to home the more I’m gonna have to face some serious changes in my life. I still love Ana – her and I have a longstanding bond and it terrifies me to let her go. I really don’t know what to do. Whichever way I go will it be the right one? I’ll have to face the music eventually.

 

Finally arriving home to VB. The van and trailer crew just arrived at the warehouse too around the same time we did. We say our goodbyes. 

 

Back home. I unpack – shower – warm up some dinner. Ana is just getting off work – later we really get into it – she starts a conversation about how she’s tired of this relationship and arguing all the time – we have an endearing moment when she cries and I explain how I actually have been sad about us. We’re both at a loss.

 

Doing chores and cleaning up the kitchen.

 

Saturday April 9 2022

Waking up shortly before the alarm is supposed to go off at 11 a.m.

 

Driving over to the college venue in Jackson, Michigan. Doing all the usual things – setting up the stage – getting everything show ready. Sound check.

 

Enjoying the “Green Room” that is unusually green with these odd vintage looking panels. A crew member helps me pull out an upright piano from the closet so we can play on it.

Dinner is decent: Chicken Marsala with Pasta, Veggies, and Salad.

 

 

We do our two 45 minute sets – crowd is very responsive. During the second set we have to deal with some issues involving Kevin’s mic that make for a few stressful moments but then it’s all good. Most of the audience is completely oblivious whenever technical issues happen anyway.

 

Afterwards, meeting with the fans out at the merch table – signing autographs and programs.

 

Then, breaking down everything.

 

Back at the hotel. Settling in and washing off the show.