Once again I can’t sleep past 10. I keep waking up and my mind is wandering.
Oatmeal with Cinnamon, Blueberries, Flax Seed, and Almond Milk. English Breakfast Tea.
At the gym putting in a good workout – listening to newly discovered Unknown Mortal Orchestra.
Eggs. Spinach. Sweet Potato. Bagel. Coffee.
Teaching lessons at Music Makers.
Back home. Lentil Vegetable Soup with Vegan Sausage and Croissant Toast.
Watching Winning Time: The Rise of the Lakers Dynasty (2022).
Cleaning up all the old boxes above my bed. Meanwhile, also waiting for Ana to get home so we can talk. We planned ahead.
Later in the living room we sit relaxed and calm with tea in hand just catching up on things first. Then, I give her this double sided typed letter “Apologies, Thoughts, & Thank You’s”. I admit all the things I’ve done wrong to get us to this point of no return. I explain how I understand her need to seek out happiness elsewhere in her life. Listening and letting things out with a few tears – all the while Billie Holiday plays quietly on the iPad. I have many thoughts to express like how sorry I am for neglecting her and how close of a link she is to my mom before she passed. I get very emotional but stay level headed.
...
I point out how she made three choices that I never made first...
Confession: Being the first one to confess she liked me back in 2013.
Proposal: Being the first one to propose marriage.
The End: Being the one to make the decision to end the relationship officially.
...
Overall, we really get on the same page and realize we can keep things amicable and still be really good friends. She holds my hand and we share a hug for a minute that reassures me things will be alright.
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