Saturday May 21 2022

Waking up off and on cause I can’t seem to stay asleep. Still feeling anxiety cause Ana hasn’t come home yet.

 

Out of bed by noon. Blackberries.

 

I meet up with Addy at Session off Shore Drive. The owner guy recognizes me from the last time Ana and I ate there.

...

Earlier in the week we had to cancel all of Addy’s lessons cause her and Jordan hit the last straw. So she’s been dealing with logistics of moving out of their house and all that. I figured it’d be good to catch up and encourage as much as I can. I also have no choice but to relay what’s been going on with me.

 

Back home. Showering up. Rebecca got invited to a birthday party of Joshaura’s, one of our students at Music Makers. I tag along. It’s way out by Ocean Lakes. Stopping into the DAV Thrift store and perusing the endless aisles of knick knacks.

...

At the birthday house. It’s essentially a bunch of teenagers doing karaoke. Dylan, the brother, is card throwing at all the balloons. But Rebecca and I help sings some songs with the birthday girl. At some point, “A Whole New World” from Aladdin comes up. Immediately it triggers emotions from when Ana and I sang it last year in Broadway. I sing politely in the background.

 

Back home. Cleaning up the living room and vacuuming everywhere I can.

 

At some point Ana gets off work. Her and Allyson are about to go to Smartmouth for some Funk Fusion event. I catch Ana outside before she gets in the car and have an emotionally expressive moment. I can barely say the words I love you without quivering lips. We do share a tender moment as I touch a little on the thoughts going through my mind. I’ve been heart sick most of the day even though I was with people.

 

Driving over to the warehouse to pick up my wardrobe. Meanwhile, Rebecca and Jimmy the Greek are here trying to figure out how to add this mesh material to the merch rack. I bring by a staple gun to help.

 

At home. Having some quick dinner: Vegan Burger with Hummus, Sweet Potato, Cucumber Salad, and Kale.

Watching Better Call Saul.

 

Doing some serious thinking. Downstairs on the couch reading The Nature of Love by Kahlil Gibran to get me sleepy and keep my mind at bay. Attempting to sleep for a few hours then returning to bed.